October 31, 2006

A Web Classic: Democrats As Monsters
— Ace

KorlaPundit did this two years ago, and it's still pretty darn funny.

Thanks to KevinM for reminding me, just as the Witching Hour of Halloween approaches and I haven't yet been able to come up with any spooky postings.

Posted by: Ace at 05:02 PM | Comments (43)
Post contains 51 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I am not a coward. You do not understand my love for Jim Webb. It is a Navy thing. I belong to a brotherhood you cannot understand unless you are married to a woman like my wife.

My comments were taken out of context. I was not referring to the Navy, which is a branch of the service I love, but to the Army and especially the Marines. The Marines are brutes and misanthopes who do not understand the nuance of the human condition. I hate them.

Posted by: John F. Kerry at October 31, 2006 05:06 PM (+PS1/)

2 You have no idea how cramped those swift boats were. Men half dressed sharing that space, the heat, the sweat. . . we did things. Terrible things.

It is seared, seared in my memory.

Posted by: John F. Kerry at October 31, 2006 05:20 PM (+PS1/)

3 Worse, they did things to him...

"He used to... make them happy... in little ways, sir."

"What do you mean?"


"All right, all right...!"

Posted by: richard mcenroe at October 31, 2006 05:32 PM (F6aWf)

4 Sad, sad Republicans. You have grossly fucked the country. Now you can't figure out why voters are onto you.

Why don't you retire from public life for a while -- oh wait, it looks like you're going to do that -- and (1) come up with some ideas (2) that are good for America.

Course I won't be holding my breath.

Posted by: mike at October 31, 2006 05:42 PM (pfKYK)

5 You can't be sad if you can quote Python Mikey... only if you don't get the joke. See your comment.

Posted by: at October 31, 2006 05:55 PM (F6aWf)

6 Previous post was mine. Don't want Mikey thinking the anonymouses are after him.

Posted by: richard mcenroe at October 31, 2006 05:56 PM (F6aWf)

7 Mike,

It is hard being the party that has to come up with all of the ideas. The Democrats haven't come up with any in a long time, and those they have come up with, like welfare, affirmative action, high taxes and a cut-and-run foreign policy, have by and large wrought considerable damage to the country.

I wouldn't be too smug right now if I were a Democrat/liberal. All of the dem candidates are having to run as moderates, often socially conservative. That doesn't mean your ideas are really penetrating out there, just that your personalities are more compelling than ours.

Posted by: EricTheRed21 at October 31, 2006 06:19 PM (hJ9g5)

8 Course I won't be holding my breath.

It would be hard to hold one's breath with an exploded head anyway I suspect...

I would suggest spending election night outside so as not to ruin the carpets.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 31, 2006 06:37 PM (AuPsg)

9 Is it just me? Or does anyone else here feel the time has come to spit on the hands, hoist the black flag, and start slitting throats?

Posted by: km at October 31, 2006 06:50 PM (/sxOl)


They're posturing as moderates but if they win it won't take long before they drop the charade. The left has to pretend to be what they are not because if they stated what their beliefs really were, what their agenda really is, they couldn't be elected dog catchers.

 They count on the short memory, the apathy, and the gullibility of people. That shit worked great for hitler, he spelled it out in mein kampf, and the dems have learned their lessons well.

Lie. Lie huge lies and when you're found out, attack the ones who exposed you and stick to the lie. The lie is what most people will remember, not that the lie was exposed. Bread and butter of the left, and why not? The shit works.

Posted by: drolmorg at October 31, 2006 06:53 PM (fbcQ6)

11 Wait....when did Mary come back?

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at October 31, 2006 07:00 PM (5sI31)

12 Purple,

The left's skulls are made of concrete and their brains are very, very small, so I think mike's shag won't get splattered on on Nov 8 (although it may be shat upon) when the Reps win again.

Posted by: max at October 31, 2006 07:16 PM (jF15v)


Posted by: spurwing plover at October 31, 2006 07:49 PM (Dutrh)

14 Roughly 3,000,000 dead in south east asia on a previous democrat congress's feckless head.

I wonder what their target body count is for Iraq? I presume they're going to go for the gusto and try to top that and mke it a nice round 5M maybe?

Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 31, 2006 08:13 PM (AuPsg)

15 Thanks for defending me Mike. You are a true patriot. If you ever want to go sailing with me and Jim Webb, give us a call.

Posted by: John F. Kerry at October 31, 2006 08:38 PM (+PS1/)

16 Course I won't be holding my breath.


That's not all you won't be holding.

Do you think we rethuglicans have been spending the last few years only killing the homos and the negroes?

Of course not! We've been perfecting the Diebold Vote Stealing Machine 2006!


Posted by: Rosetta at October 31, 2006 08:39 PM (CTqCo)

17 Dammit John, 2008 is my year!

How am I supposed to get the nomination if you keep saying stupid things?  I'll have to out-stupid you if I want to get the Kos voters.

Posted by: John Edwards at October 31, 2006 09:32 PM (GOgjX)

18 You guys saw the ScrappleFace Kerry Smart video? It's awesome!
A riff on Army Strong. If mikey sees it, he won't be able to hold anything

Posted by: Tushar D at November 01, 2006 01:12 AM (9ULFg)

19 Osama John Kerry struck again, lashing himself with his own tongue that caught in his turban. Ha, trying to blame Bush for his own bad! Beware New Year's Eve! This idiotic senator, bloody crescent scythe in hand, will again proclaim with his suave international diplomatic verve, "I apologize to no one!"

We'll wonder what ever happened to peace on earth, and to share good will.

Posted by: Lyn at November 01, 2006 02:57 AM (sy4fd)


Mini-snickers are awesome with coffee for breakfast.

This is gonna be like a new thing.

Posted by: lauraw at November 01, 2006 03:27 AM (DbybK)

21 Mini-Snickers, if you eat them for breakfast, with coffee, can be awesome but if you don't you will get stuck in Iraq.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 01, 2006 03:54 AM (t+mja)

22 Mini-snickers are awesome with coffee for breakfast.

I did a Kit-Kat.

Posted by: Warden at November 01, 2006 04:23 AM (rZ5uY)

23 Mini-snickers are awesome with coffee for breakfast.

I've got a scone.

No, I'm not gay.

Posted by: Slublog at November 01, 2006 04:33 AM (R8+nJ)

24 O/T - Anyone want to see what Warden looks like?

Faces updated.

Posted by: Slublog at November 01, 2006 04:35 AM (R8+nJ)

25 Ah! Gotta get a photo taken for Slu's Faces of Ace webpage. I hope Spurwing sends his too.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 01, 2006 04:40 AM (h76y6)

26 Warden had a Baby a few months back, right? I remember seeing his photo with the Baby. Maybe he can send a photo in the classic RobG pose, nurturing the next generation of good citizens.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 01, 2006 05:04 AM (h76y6)


Never even opened the bag of mini-Almond Joys.

Took the whole thing to work with me. I'm really not a candy person. This only happens once a year or so.

I'm not sharing.

Posted by: lauraw at November 01, 2006 05:15 AM (4VA+n)

28 If those photos don't scare ryan off, nothing will.

Posted by: jj at November 01, 2006 05:16 AM (AdvuV)

29 lauraw,

I just did a Reese's Cup with coffee.


My wife made me promise that I'd share the candy with her, but I'm having a really hard time keeping my hands out of it.

One time my father bought her a box of chocolates and I ate, like, 75% of them over the course of a week. She still won't let me forget that.

It's her fault anyway. She hoards sweets for months and they just sit there inviting me to snatch them away. It's like showing your whorish, infidel ankle to a Muslim man. Of course I'm going to attack!

Posted by: Warden at November 01, 2006 05:27 AM (rZ5uY)

Posted by: Entropy at November 01, 2006 05:39 AM (m6c4H)

31 Goddamn it Edwards. How dare you question me. You are nothing. I lost in 2004 because of you. I thought you were some shot shot trial attorney and you could not even kick Cheney's ass in the VP debate.

Even Howard Dean called me last night and called me a fucking moron-and he did it when I was watching Denny Crane.

Who did this to me? Rove? Hillary? How did they get me to say those things? I do not have contempt for the military, only those members who did not vote for me in 2004.

Posted by: John F. Kerry at November 01, 2006 05:50 AM (+PS1/)


Warden, my husband does the same thing. If we run out of regular chocolate, he has been known to break into my store of hard, waxy blocks of baker's chocolate.

One of those little Valentine's boxes with five pieces of chocolate in it will last me a month.

The only chocolate that makes me lose control is those Lu cookies called 'Little Schoolboy,' the butter cracker with a medallion of the best damn milk chocolate on it.

Posted by: lauraw at November 01, 2006 06:29 AM (Ho2Q0)

33 Do you turn the little schoolboy upside down?

Posted by: spongeworthy at November 01, 2006 06:54 AM (uSomN)


Oh, hi Spongeworthy.

Say, did I ever tell you about my hunchback, three teeth, frightening personal hygiene, and enormous handlebar moustache that I maintain with ear wax?

Posted by: lauraw at November 01, 2006 07:26 AM (Ho2Q0)

35 None of that should stop you from flipping Le Petit Ecolier upside down and gobbling his chocolate-y goodness.

And you can spare me the cold shower. I'm as harmless as a kitten.

Posted by: spongeworthy at November 01, 2006 08:09 AM (uSomN)


Cold shower? I don't know what you mean by that.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go shave some warts off with a red-hot hunting knife. Today is my 'day of beauty.'

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