February 28, 2007

A Sheepish Attempt At Fundraising
— Ace

Well! After pissing off half my readers, what a perfect time to ask them for some money!

I had really hoped not to go blegging again, but ad revenues are absolute crap for the past three months. Plus, I'd really like to head down to CPAC. I had thought I wouldn't go, but now that Rudy's giving his Coming Out speech among a very conservative crowd, I really want to.

Sorry to rattle the tinternet cup. But if you've got some extra money you were just planning on spending on silly shit like your children's health care or something, I'm sure I could put it to better use.

The donation buttons are in the sidebar-- the PayPal one is preferred (money comes in faster) but Amazon's fine too. I'd link them here, but it never works.

Anyway, thanks for the support you've given me over the years in enabling me in this dead-end "job" of mine. Not sure if you really feel like continuing to subsidize my lazy no-account ass, but if you do, I appreciate it.

Posted by: Ace at 11:27 AM | Comments (77)
Post contains 187 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Ace -

When I told you I found a source for 70's era, full bush Penthouse magazines, I didn't expect you to go begging to come up with the $ to buy them. At least your readers know the money will be well spent.

Posted by: steve_in_hb at February 28, 2007 11:32 AM (krU6k)

2 Donate to McCain's campaign.....

Give the money to Ace.......

McCain.....

Ace....

McCain......

Ace........

McCaaaaaaaaiiiin...........

Aaaaaaaaaaaace.......

Ah, fuck, RWS will donate enough to McCain for all of us.  I'll send my money to Ace.

But you'll have to earn it, if you know what I'm sayin'....

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2007 11:36 AM (1tlBF)

3 Oh hell, of course.

Go buy a cheap bottle of scotch. Pour it into an empty expensive scotch bottle. Age to perfection.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 28, 2007 11:40 AM (pzen5)

4 Blogging isn't your full-time job is it? With all of the times you have disappeared for several days at a time with no explanation I just assumed you were a hitman for the mafia and/or the CIA.

Posted by: Shivv at February 28, 2007 11:48 AM (QhWHP)

5 Better yet, start with cheap US Navy medical alcohol, add a bit of Coke for color, a drop of iodine for taste, and a bit of hair tonic for "age".

Bonus points if you know what movie I stole that from...

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 28, 2007 11:49 AM (tVbxd)

6

Sweety, I just gave you your allowance last week! And what did you do? You when right out with those no-good friends of yours and drank bloggers or hobos or whatever they're called! Just what do you think I'm made out of - money or something? Oh! If only your father could hear this!


You young people have it sooo cushy now! When I was your age I had to climb the Sierra Madre's - long-ways! - and that was just to find air! I was 12 years old before I ever even ate! And that was a rock! And it was spoiled!


(Sigh). Oh - Ok. But tomorrow I want you to mow the lawn, and - Don't give me that look! - and I want you to get a haircut.


Posted by: Momma Ace at February 28, 2007 11:49 AM (41Dd+)

7 The haircut could be the deal-breaker.

Posted by: Tushar D at February 28, 2007 11:51 AM (h76y6)

8 I'll kick in again, but I'm going to lodge a bitch.

This business of posting after business hours pretty much leaves me a day behind all the good kvetching and yukking it up. By the time I'm chuckling over it, you guys have ditched "stuck on stupid" and moved on to "beclowned". So I'm that guy always telling yesterday's joke.

Keep normal hours, you freak. Who's up at 3:00 AM? Wickedpinto?

Need I say more?

Posted by: spongeworthy at February 28, 2007 11:52 AM (uSomN)

9 Why would anyone give a shitty writer like you money? Go get a fucking job.

Jerry Mellers

Posted by: at February 28, 2007 11:52 AM (hLPUE)

10 *sigh* Oh fine....

Posted by: Nice Deb at February 28, 2007 11:55 AM (HfGmJ)

11
Bonus points if you know what movie I stole that from...


Mr. Roberts

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2007 11:59 AM (1tlBF)

12 I'll give. You're the only host that hasn't thrown me out.

Posted by: drolmorg at February 28, 2007 12:06 PM (HB6KQ)

13

Bertha (#9),


AoS is my primary source of news, opinion, humor and trivia. I am not the only one. To answer you, a lot of people like me will give him money.


Go suck Satan's fanged cock.


 


Posted by: Tushar D at February 28, 2007 12:07 PM (h76y6)

14 "Marbles, all day long I'm looking for marbles"...

Crap, I'll never learn: I've donated to Ace at least three times, but he never thanked me... Maybe the 4th time will be a charm... or 5th

Posted by: JFH at February 28, 2007 12:07 PM (z4es9)

15 wiserbud: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly?

Posted by: drolmorg at February 28, 2007 12:08 PM (HB6KQ)

16 Just get a frigging job and quit begging or whatever clever blog variation of that you want to call it. You're still begging. Just get a job for crying out loud

Posted by: Ryan at February 28, 2007 12:09 PM (rTIJo)

17 We're always vaccinating the kids for diseases they don't even have!

Posted by: Homer Simpson at February 28, 2007 12:11 PM (02oyd)

18 wiserbud & JFH win the palm tree...

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 28, 2007 12:12 PM (tVbxd)

19

God, I AM a fucking moron! I thought you meant "you're (actually "we're") gonna have to earn it"


Didn't see comment from itc. Sheesh!


Posted by: drolmorg at February 28, 2007 12:12 PM (HB6KQ)

20 The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly?

Isn't that what Rosetta calls his parents?

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2007 12:12 PM (1tlBF)

21 Goddam wiserbud beat me to it.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 28, 2007 12:14 PM (pzen5)

22 JFH. Guess what?

Muh ha ha ha ha haaaa! My power grows!

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 28, 2007 12:15 PM (pzen5)

23 Spongeworthy,

Awww...does wifiepoo not let you on the computer at home???

;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at February 28, 2007 12:16 PM (gZ/8m)

24 Go suck Satan's fanged cock.

Tushar, I know this is wrong, but nothing else you have ever written here has made me think of an angry convenience store owner yelling at a customer more than this.  Ya know, how they always get the words right but the actual usage or syntax wrong?

"You go to fuck, you bastard hell person!   I am telling you to go mighty shitting at your mother, you satan fanged cock!"

 

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2007 12:18 PM (1tlBF)

25

JFH - if Ace didn't thank you, it was almost certainly an oversight.  He's stupid-correct about doing so, even when, as in my case, it's not expected.


Who's this new capital-R Ryan?  Perhaps alone amongst the assemblage, I prefer the more excitable Ivy League dropout version.


Jerry Mellers: Go ahead and take Tushar's excellent advice, his slightly altered version of an AoS classic, and suck the "fanged" cock of Ryan.


Posted by: Patton at February 28, 2007 12:19 PM (KxnQ8)

26 Ban Ryan.

Posted by: at February 28, 2007 12:19 PM (zjWeF)

27 Okay.

I'm sending you some money, but it's mostly for beer and other important things.

Like beer at the CPAC.

Posted by: RightWingDuck at February 28, 2007 12:20 PM (bX+n4)

28 Sparkle, you know how old my kids are. Spending my evening chuckling over dick jokes is just not my idea of quality parenting. At least it isn't as long as the kids can read the monitor over my shoulder.

"Dad, what's barbed cock of Satan?"

Posted by: spongeworthy at February 28, 2007 12:22 PM (uSomN)

29

>>Tushar, I know this is wrong


There is nothing wrong there, wiserbud.


Have you seen the Carlos Mencia episode where he plays a Indian convenience store owner? That was hilarious.


Posted by: Tushar D at February 28, 2007 12:23 PM (h76y6)

30 spongeworthy,

How sweet. Your wife does have you trained well...;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at February 28, 2007 12:25 PM (gZ/8m)

31 Good news, bad news.

Good news is that I filed papers today claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby and if I win there's a sawbuck or two in their for you.

Bad news, it appears there are a couple other people in line ahead of me and they claim to have actually had sex with her.

Still, there's a chance.

Posted by: JackStraw at February 28, 2007 12:33 PM (t+mja)

32 Have you seen the Carlos Mencia episode where he plays a Indian convenience store owner? That was hilarious.

I might have, but when I saw it, Flip Wilson was doing it.

Ooooo, snap!  Another "Carlos Mencia is a thief!" joke.

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2007 12:34 PM (1tlBF)

33 AoS is my primary source of news, opinion, humor and trivia.

Word.  I've just about quit posting anywhere else (cheers from the crowd).  When I'm between problems at work, I await each new post like a crack addicted monkey.

Sad.

Tob

Posted by: Toby928 at February 28, 2007 12:35 PM (ATbKm)

34 A Sheepish Attempt At Fundraising

You're buying sheep?

Posted by: harrison at February 28, 2007 12:35 PM (yYMAJ)

35

>>You're buying sheep?


Sheepskin shoes actually.


Posted by: Tushar D at February 28, 2007 12:37 PM (h76y6)

36

You're buying sheep?


Naw - he sed he jest wunted to rent em. Fer sumpin caled "ACLU research".


Posted by: Sheep Farmer at February 28, 2007 12:40 PM (41Dd+)

37 Ban Ryan.

Here's an idea.  Start selling the banning of a commenter.  Any commenter is eligible to be banned.  People can vote for anyone at, say, $5/vote and the commenter with the highest vote tally is gone, unless they match the total dollar amount generated by their votes.

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2007 12:43 PM (1tlBF)

38 Sparkle, why would you assume my wife's the one who's concerned about quality parenting? I'll have you know I like kids very much. Here's an example: I liked the Sparklette very very much, and she's one of your kids! It's science!

Anyway, I'm not so p-whipped as you might think. Why, just last night I went outside behind the garage and smoked a cigar! Plus, when I folded the laundry I didn't even try to untangle the bras--just threw 'em in the basket!

Posted by: spongeworthy at February 28, 2007 12:45 PM (uSomN)

39 I swear, I had no idea you could fold a brassiere.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 28, 2007 12:48 PM (pzen5)

40

wiserbud, what a GREAT idea!


Ace, yours is the only site of the several I regularly visit to which I've donated (admittedly very small change, but it's what I can manage just now).  You make me laugh, and you raise good issues.  You also make me blush sometimes, but so does everybody else, so you don't get props for that.


Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at February 28, 2007 12:49 PM (C6r15)

41 I'm a long time lurker who has never bothered to post a comment here.  I've certainly never left any sort of donation.  Until now...

Thanks, Ace, for keeping my favorite moronblog going. 

Posted by: Joe Biteme at February 28, 2007 01:07 PM (Cdsq4)

42 wiserbud: That is a fine idea.

Posted by: drolmorg at February 28, 2007 01:09 PM (HB6KQ)

43 Here's an idea.

Why are you looking at me when you say that, wiserbud?

Rascal.

Posted by: Bart at February 28, 2007 01:12 PM (rilMu)

44 OK, Ace, I've sent money but, in return, I expect a lot more pictures of RightWingSparkle.

Go waste it.

Onward, Carlos

Posted by: CarlosinCA at February 28, 2007 01:15 PM (aB7aq)

45 Here's an idea. Start selling the banning of a commenter. Any commenter is eligible to be banned. People can vote for anyone at, say, $5/vote and the commenter with the highest vote tally is gone, unless they match the total dollar amount generated by their votes.


Good idea. Mark me down for two votes to ban Ryan.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 28, 2007 01:27 PM (plsiE)

46 Good news is that I filed papers today claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby and if I win there's a sawbuck or two in their for you.

Bad news, it appears there are a couple other people in line ahead of me and they claim to have actually had sex with her.


You mean you're one of the 432 guys that didn't have sex with Anna Nicole?

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 28, 2007 01:32 PM (plsiE)

47 How much would it cost me for you to go to the Regency Ballroom during "What Happened to the Fight Against Big Government?" and ask my senator (Hutchinson(R)) why she is on the wrong side of this issue??

Posted by: John Galt at February 28, 2007 01:34 PM (Q5fOm)

48 You're buying sheep?

Nah, just their skin.

Five bucks on wiserbud!

Hey, you started it.

Posted by: mesablue at February 28, 2007 01:41 PM (DzeyU)

49 Carlos,

While I am flattered by your request of Ace, I don't believe he has ever posted pictures of me.

But if it means more money for him, I'll be glad to send him a few to post. We all know that it's hard to find pictures of women on the net. Heh.

Cuz it's the only way I could contribute, my money going to McCain and all.....;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at February 28, 2007 01:53 PM (gZ/8m)

50 Good grief Ace. Yes, of course. You and your commentators are a source of continuing amusement. Esp Wickedpinto. Perhaps someone could buy that nice young man a dictionary.
Kindest regards,
Shmool

Posted by: at February 28, 2007 01:53 PM (X+y++)

51 I contribute if you fix the fucking timestamp on your worthless blog!

Posted by: Daniel at February 28, 2007 01:59 PM (VJ22w)

52 Ok. I can lend you a grand at 10% interest for a month. We can negotiate if you need more time.

Posted by: moshe arenstein at February 28, 2007 02:00 PM (E15xv)

53
Five bucks on wiserbud!




Hey, you started it.

I thought that since I came up with the concept, I would be granted immunity this time around, but if everyone is on the table here....

Where is that bastard man-dyke Rosetta?  I got 10 votes already in the bank and I ain't afraid to use 'em!

And don;t worry, Bart.  You're safe, as far as I'm concerned. Too much material there to just let it get away from us for a few bucks.

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2007 02:08 PM (56ssE)

54 Okay, I gave.  Of course that means I'll have to temporarily reduce my carbon footprint.

Posted by: SJR2 at February 28, 2007 02:12 PM (tfJha)

55 I would be sending you money, but it is tied up in a bank in my home country, due to a recent military coup to which I was a subject to. If you were to please send me just $5000, I could send you the bank name, access code, and address for which you can use to receive the approximately $23,000,000 that is in said institution, after which I will give 30% of that money.

Please to be helping me so I can to be helping you!

Posted by: Unamed Memebr of the Nigerian Royal Family at February 28, 2007 02:14 PM (56ssE)

56 Let's see, how much is a year's subscription to Newsweek, Time, the NYT? How much better is it to be able to say, somewhat proudly, that I, too, am crack addicted to this moronblog? I think I can toss in a few bucks.

Posted by: alexthechick at February 28, 2007 02:18 PM (SG+wV)

57 Hi Ace,
I was going to send you $100 (I'm rich!), but those Amazons wouldn't let me, so I decided that I would send you $50 twice.  But then I decided that I would wait until you had to beg again - then I would send the other $50.  Plus, I like getting e-mails from people who promise to have me  "Like a Viking" and would like to spread them out a little.  Makes me feel desirable.
But really, I love your site and will always send you money.  You are my sugar blogger.
S Lasswell

Posted by: Star Jospe at February 28, 2007 02:40 PM (ocV7K)

58 Revenues? You can make money at this?

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at February 28, 2007 02:42 PM (wmgz8)

59 Okay, I just made myself feel bad.  I sent the other $50.  You shouldn't have to beg.

Posted by: Star Jospe at February 28, 2007 03:02 PM (ocV7K)

60 So, if Ace is shaking the tin cup . . . who's the organ grinder?

Posted by: Hal at February 28, 2007 03:06 PM (XRFpM)

61 Wow! Watching Ace beg a sheep for a moneyshot? That's gotta be worth $20.

...or did I read that wrong?

Posted by: johnd01 at February 28, 2007 03:48 PM (tAk+F)

62 I swear, I had no idea you could fold a brassiere.

Dave, the kind real women wear have little or no foam, so they're different than yours.

Posted by: MamaAJ at February 28, 2007 04:21 PM (uQ/sL)

63 Done.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at February 28, 2007 06:19 PM (f9DT5)

64 No votes for Nice Deb?  Seriously, she just pisses me the fuck off, what with that being "nice" thing and all.

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2007 07:27 PM (56ssE)

65 Oh come on, Wiserbud, I've never been anything but nice to you, even when you didn't deserve it.

Posted by: Nice Deb at February 28, 2007 07:34 PM (HfGmJ)

66 See?  See?  What did I say?  "Nice."  Always with the "Nice."

Makes me want to stab myself in the brain, with all the "Nice."

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2007 07:50 PM (56ssE)

67


Makes me want to stab myself in the brain, with all the "Nice."


Oh simmer down, I don't want you to hurt yourself, dear.


Posted by: Nice Deb at February 28, 2007 08:21 PM (HfGmJ)

68 Oh simmer down, I don't want you to hurt yourself, dear.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

*stabstabstabstabstab*



Posted by: wiserbud at March 01, 2007 05:17 AM (1tlBF)

69 I've tried wiserbud, I really don't know how to make her mad.

I think she medicates.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 01, 2007 05:31 AM (pzen5)

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