February 28, 2007

A Line In The Sand At Ace of Spades
— Ace

So, Dean Esmay is getting a lot more traffic than usual in his normal fashion. Usually he's a preening horse's ass, but every once in a while he feels he's not getting all the attention he deserves, and he cranks the preening horse's ass act up to 11.

But a couple of days ago he scratched the numbers off the amp and re-wrote them so they go up to 12. 12! Answering the age-old question, "What do you do when you've got your nitwit jagoff amps turned up all the way to eleven, but you just need a little more kick?"

Well, you announce a new "litmus test" for all of your cobloggers, telling them, basically, it is now off-limits to criticize our friends the Muslims at all, a diktat which seems like it applies to comments as well.

And not only do two of your cobloggers leave, your own wife, an inactive coblogger, decides she can no longer live under your Mr. Bossyblog rules anymore either. (I mean, she leaves the blog, not Esmay.)

Why am I posting this? I haven't linked Dean Esmay more than once or twice in my life, after all.

No, I'm posting it because, well, if you think I'm a preening prick, well! Get a load of this douche-tool!

But I sort of also want this sort of spike in traffic Dean gets to his somewhat irrelevant blog by just acting like a cockmonkey every month. Or more like... every twenty eight days. Usually lasting for three or four days. That sort of cycle.

So, I hereby am enacting my own litmus test. All cobloggers and commenters and, frankly, even emailers are required to obey these rules forthwith or be banned forevermore.

1. You jerkoffs will no longer call me a homo. It is imperative in a pluralistic, liberal society that all men of goodwill respect my right to not be called a homo in every other friggin' thread.

My mom reads this blog, you fucking retards. Every month she calls me up and asks me when she's going to get to meet my "life partner." I'm sick of her asking me if I'm "being safe" when I go out "clubbing," if I've found any "adorable endtables" when I go out "'tiquing," and if I'm "bobbling the boy-beans" when I'm "sucking cock."

Seriously. The woman is already worried sick about my rather bizarre career choices. Are you trying to give her a heart attack?

You may, however, continue calling Bart gay as much as possible. You can also call Allah a homo. You can put them together in whatever preverted fantasies you like, just leave my ass out of it.

2. JackM. may no longer write poetry of any sort in honor of Mary Katherine Ham, or whatever other slice of tasty blogcake he's hungry for this week.

Actually, this isn't my rule. It's a court order. Mary Katherine slapped me with a TRO last week.

JackM, you have to learn there's a thin line between "grand romantic gesture" and "aggravated stalking."

3. Rightwingsparkle is no longer permitted to give John McCain hand-love in more than one thread per week.

As always, this rule is subject to the exception, "unless she's brought enough for the whole class."

4. This one's pretty important: No one can ever fucking tell me "It's fucking Old" ever fucking again.

Only exception? When I post a "new article" about "news" that happens to be from January of last year.

5. All further spelling and factual corrections shall come discretely via a polite email, and there shall be no public mocking of my stupidity.

Anyone who violates this rule will not be banned, but will, however, be required to post under the handle "Professor Persnickety McPedantfairy" for a full month.


6. WickedPinto must give a CONTENT WARNING announcing "I'm about to get seriously weird here, guys" before launching into one of his six thousand word opuses on banging Okinawan whores while simultaneously installing an air-ram on his 1964 Chevy Chevelle.

7. LauraW: Enough with the cats already.

Oh, I'm sure you thought you were helping me build brand-identity by sticking your stupid kitten posts right under my Ace of Spades logo. Because that's really the image I'm going for. "Oh, Ace of Spades? I think it's about politics and sex. And also adorable tabbies, I'm pretty sure."

Seriously, thanks so much for your efforts in this regard, but I think you've done quite enough.


8. Lastly: To make up for the banning of the terms "dhimmitude" and "taq'iya" at Dean's World, all commenters are required to work them into at least one (1) comment per day.


I apologize if these guidelines seem heavy-handed, but I'm afraid I must follow the example of William F. Buckley, who stormed into the offices of the National Review one day and laid down the law to his fellow writers: "Stop calling me a fancyboy!"

Is this a litmus test of ideological purity? Why yes. Yes it is.

PS, Dean?

You beclowned yourself with this whole jagoff jihad.

But we'll have to invent a new term to describe the hyperdimensional lunacy of comparing yourself to William F. Buckley.

One difference, just for starters: I'm pretty sure William F. Buckley knows how to correctly spell "inherent," and would probably not keep spelling the word incorrectly as "inherant" as he repeatedly cited it (in quotes, no less) as a key term in his new diktat.

Are you on the crack, Son?

Maybe it would be best if you tried it.

Oh: Via HotAir, which also notes Andrew Sullivan's discovery of a new Gospel in which Jesus commands, "Judge not terrorists such as Jose Padilla, lest ye be judged unfit to attend Madonna-concert after-parties."

WWWFBW? (What Would William F. Buckley Write?): From Dean's Super Happy Fun Blog:

If you cannot accept, wholeheartedly, all of the above 5 assertions--without exception or weasel-wording--then if you are a front page Dean's World contributor you should turn in your keys and say goodbye. You can do it gracefully or ingracefully.

"Ingracefully"? That's a rather nonfluiditudinous word, isn't it?

I might misspell words, but when I do, at least I'm actually trying to write actual words.

You morons keep that in mind the next time you want to point fingers and jump around like a bunch of circus monkeys.

Posted by: Ace at 08:18 PM | Comments (164)
Post contains 1074 words, total size 7 kb.

1 OK, how about "the alleged homo"?

Posted by: MSM copy writer at February 28, 2007 08:24 PM (erRvx)

2 Well, it's not so much that we call you a homo, per se. Just that we really do appreciate matching endtables (especially if they're adorable) And of course the occasional reacharound. Really, the respect has to go both ways.

Posted by: genghis at February 28, 2007 08:29 PM (HwY1l)

3 You know what they say..."You can build a thousand bridges and you're a bridge builder, but if you suck one cock, you're a cocksucker."

Is fairyboy sissypants off-limits too?

When can we expect the enhanced memo directive mission statement for the AoSHQ club house?

Posted by: Vercingetorix at February 28, 2007 08:29 PM (LVVcX)

4 Homo.

Posted by: Lipstick at February 28, 2007 08:30 PM (3y+L6)

5 OK, how about "the alleged homo"?

Incipient homo?

Posted by: geoff at February 28, 2007 08:31 PM (GJTEc)

6 Anticipated homo? Compulsory homo? Obligatory homo?

Posted by: Vercingetorix at February 28, 2007 08:33 PM (LVVcX)

7 Enabling homo?

Posted by: geoff at February 28, 2007 08:33 PM (GJTEc)

8

Just so you know, I've never once called you a homo....


(but I've thought it.)


Posted by: Nice Deb at February 28, 2007 08:34 PM (HfGmJ)

9 Homo formerly known as Ace?

Posted by: geoff at February 28, 2007 08:34 PM (GJTEc)

10 Ace, formerly known as Homo.

Posted by: Nice Deb at February 28, 2007 08:35 PM (HfGmJ)

11 Hilarious, but did you... get distracted before being able to finish this post?

Hi, Mrs. Spades!

Posted by: someone at February 28, 2007 08:37 PM (I/t4f)

12 Maybe Ace is one of those Thai tranny hookers in disguise. or its that time of the month?

Posted by: Robert at February 28, 2007 08:37 PM (iWJuw)

13 I'm scared...he said there was more coming...

Posted by: Nice Deb at February 28, 2007 08:37 PM (HfGmJ)

14 Ace the Homo Hobo? Space of Aides HQ, the Home of homoerotic homos?

Posted by: Vercingetorix at February 28, 2007 08:38 PM (LVVcX)

15 The evolutionaary offshoot of man: Homo Spadiens

Posted by: geoff at February 28, 2007 08:38 PM (GJTEc)

16 Great. Keep encouraging the juveniles.

Posted by: Bart at February 28, 2007 08:38 PM (0Rlco)

17 Was "more coming" rule number 3?

Number of ejaculations: 3 and a dribble.

In other news, an Ace-ism makes the funnies.

Posted by: Roy at February 28, 2007 08:39 PM (TfeE1)

18 Mary Katherine
stalked by Jack M. until Ace
drew a line in sand

Posted by: geoff at February 28, 2007 08:40 PM (GJTEc)

19 Would it be ok if we just called you a queer instead of a homo?

Posted by: Watcher at February 28, 2007 08:40 PM (KUyr5)

20 If you can get 50% less people calling you a homo within the next three weeks, the AP will credit you with 'a small victory'. Best of luck with that.


Posted by: Drew at February 28, 2007 08:41 PM (gNyUT)

21 Is 'cockswallower' similiarly banned? Can we still refer to your mouth as "the pink eye", "cum dump", and/or/also "man pleaser"?

Posted by: Vercingetorix at February 28, 2007 08:41 PM (LVVcX)

22 Other people on this moron-blog read Order of the Stick?  I feel really bad all of a sudden.  Soon I'll be drinking Valu-Rite Vodka too.  Oh, I sent my bleg money in.  Make sure I don't get the Thai hooker joke in the thank you email this time.

Posted by: BlameCandida at February 28, 2007 08:44 PM (w/vT4)

23 Wonder what'll be next...

Posted by: Sinistar at February 28, 2007 08:44 PM (oHd6r)

24 OK, now it's funny.
WickedPinto must give a CONTENT WARNING announcing "I'm about to get seriously weird here, guys"Naah, he should just have to sign all his comments at the top. This would amount to the same thing.

Posted by: someone at February 28, 2007 08:45 PM (I/t4f)

25 3. No one is to criticize the frequency of consecutive Gleen Grenwald posts I make. EVER.

4. No more jokes about twelve posts in a row about Brokeback Mountain. I shall write about gay movies all I want and you will like it.

Posted by: Ace at February 28, 2007 08:46 PM (0Rlco)

26 Professor Persnicketty McPedantfairy

Only one "t" in "persnickety.

Posted by: Professor Persnickety McPedantfairy at February 28, 2007 08:47 PM (GJTEc)

27 a chill wind has blown....

Posted by: genghis at February 28, 2007 08:47 PM (HwY1l)

28 Are we still allowed to call Allah your gay lover?

Posted by: someone at February 28, 2007 08:48 PM (I/t4f)

29 Ace being called a homo is so old. Everyone whose cool prefers the term Viking Reciever

Posted by: Iblis at February 28, 2007 08:51 PM (kAd49)

30 Other people on this moron-blog read Order of the Stick?Some of us even read Erfworld...

Posted by: someone at February 28, 2007 08:52 PM (I/t4f)

31 I try to read Erfworld.  I just can't get into it.  It doesn't bring the funny the same way OOTS does.

Posted by: BlameCandida at February 28, 2007 08:54 PM (w/vT4)

32 Dhimminified Homo of the Hershey Highway Jihad says what?

Posted by: mbruce at February 28, 2007 08:55 PM (LLCm9)

33 Well, Ace, if you are not the ghey, but string thirty posts together about the Brazillian limp-throb Gleen who is certainly very much the ghey between double-fisted stroke-offs about those burly Mens unafraid to wears the Sheep's skins--if you know what I'm saying--Are you then telling us that we should just bend over and take your Tryanny likes Mens?

Posted by: Vercingetorix at February 28, 2007 08:55 PM (LVVcX)

34 Man, you people are so easily distracted. I believe the topic was Dean Ismay, although I don't know why. I forgot about him two years ago. He's an overbearing idiot, not to mention just plain mind-numbingly wrong.

Oh, and Ace, you're a homo.

Posted by: CraigC at February 28, 2007 08:55 PM (Zr9D+)

35 Ace = 'Receiver of swollen goods'.

Posted by: Ray 'Blackmon' Negro at February 28, 2007 08:57 PM (E15xv)

36 Of the White Star Line Ismays. Duh.

Posted by: CraigC at February 28, 2007 08:57 PM (Zr9D+)

37 Craig, its kinda like watching a building get demolished. You gotta watch as the whole thing comes down on itself.

That said, dean-o's an ignorant self righteous dhimmi fuckstick.

Ace, does that count for thursdays use for for the blacklist words, its technically thursday....

Posted by: Sinistar at February 28, 2007 08:59 PM (oHd6r)

38

Ace's Rule #5: No one shall criticize either the size of Ace's moronbrain or his meat hammer or both, depending entirely on which is more embarassingly pathetic that given day...shrinkage and all being what they are.


 


Posted by: Vercingetorix at February 28, 2007 08:59 PM (LVVcX)

39 Doesn't TallDave post over at Esmay's? I wonder how he's doing as a dhimmi who can't say "dhimmitude."

Posted by: geoff at February 28, 2007 09:00 PM (GJTEc)

40 Let me try a sample comment...

I think that I shall never see
A blogger sweet as insert female right-wing blogger with a great rack here.
Or RWS whose hungry hand is prest
Around John McCain's flowing crest.
A tree that says "it's spelled BIRCH, bitch"
And imparts "it's fucking old" without a switch.
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Heh heh... that tree said "bosom."
Posts are made by fools like me,
But only Ace and Dean can make stupid fucking rules when posting dumbfuck comments.

You homo.

Posted by: ken at February 28, 2007 09:04 PM (75YP3)

41 But we'll have to invent a new term to describe the hyperdimensional lunacy of comparing yourself to William F. Buckley.

Way ahead of ya on that one. He's a Blogtard.

Even though, as a wise man once told me in an email, "he's better than us."

Thanks for that email, homo.

Posted by: Vinnie at February 28, 2007 09:05 PM (fdAim)

42 Ace: Mr. Bossyblog


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

I don't know why that struck me as so damn funny...

Posted by: Sinistar at February 28, 2007 09:10 PM (oHd6r)

43 LMHomoAO!!!!!
And I've done lines of coke on the sands of South Beach, so what's the big fucking deal anyways!
So you're a badass cokehead, Ace? Or am I just confused and/or high?

Posted by: ryan at February 28, 2007 09:14 PM (oektW)

44 Um... you're both confused and high as usual, Dopey McDrunkerson.

Posted by: ace at February 28, 2007 09:18 PM (+u1X0)

45 Ryan, I was going to post a rule about you not getting sloshed out of your fucking mind everytime you're within arm's reach of a computer, but I figured the rule would fall on drunk ears.


Posted by: ace at February 28, 2007 09:19 PM (+u1X0)

46 "1. You jerkoffs will no longer call me a homo.

...

3. No one is to criticize the frequency of consecutive Gleen Grenwald posts I make. EVER. "

That's like half my schtick.



Dhimmitude

Posted by: seattle slough at February 28, 2007 09:22 PM (ARC3W)

47 I was just kidding, Ace! I think you're a really intelligent and funny guy, and I wish you all the best!I

Posted by: ryan at February 28, 2007 09:23 PM (oektW)

48 Yeah, I used to be a regular reader and commenter at Dean's World. He started losing it with the AIDS stuff, and has subsequently gone off the deep end. I haven't read DW in months. Too bad. He's a decent guy, and it's sad to see him end up like this.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at February 28, 2007 09:23 PM (vKn4M)

49 Ace, we're morons, you toad-rocket. We're not really into this sort of dhimmitude.

Quota of the day filled. Carry on.

Posted by: Ranba Ral at February 28, 2007 09:23 PM (VvXII)

50 Rule 9: No Macacca Tuesdays.

Posted by: mike at February 28, 2007 09:31 PM (/InkS)

51 Meh. Kvetching about Dean & his silly rules? Es chingando viejo, tu grande maricon, Ace!

Posted by: Cybrludite at February 28, 2007 09:34 PM (XFoEH)

52

geoff, updated:


Mary Katherine
stalked by Jack M. until Ace
fucked up her last name


Posted by: Patton at February 28, 2007 09:45 PM (KxnQ8)

53 No calling you a homo.... got it. But when you mention that your mom reads this blog, I just want to insinuate that I'm porking her.

Posted by: z ryan at February 28, 2007 09:48 PM (9Ml1C)

54 Other people on this moron-blog read Order of the Stick?

I thought it was required.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 28, 2007 09:50 PM (+7YmF)

55 Is Mr Gayfag Fairyqueer still allowed?

Posted by: Warden at February 28, 2007 09:57 PM (rZ5uY)

56 Rule number six - there is NOOO! rule number six.

Rule number seven?


Posted by: Tom M at February 28, 2007 09:58 PM (Cycyn)

57 Yup.  It's nice to see that those progressive liberals are as strong as ever on supporting the right to free speech and different ideas.

Posted by: Xoxotl at February 28, 2007 10:00 PM (oKrrY)

58 Another "milk out the nose" moment, except this time I was eating an orange. Seriously, you can burn some mucus reading this blog while eating.

Posted by: DL From Heidelberg at February 28, 2007 10:10 PM (Gj0PV)

59 When you're right, you're right. "Homo" is pure invective, lacking any factual basis whatsoever. Brokeback dates with Allah notwithstanding, there is no evidence at all to suppose that there's any action whatsoever in the Ace Playhouse that doesn't include Val-u-rite and one-handed computing.

None.

Nada.

Zilch.

I hereby resolve to abstain completely from characterizing Ace as a homo in any way, shape, or form.

...and "The Viking Chronicles" on his bookshelf is merely a socio-political-ethnographic study of comparitive historical parallelisms...

Posted by: cthulhu at February 28, 2007 10:18 PM (cw3Pe)

60 And it turns out that Ace's stack of Poof magazines are just about magicians.

Posted by: z ryan at February 28, 2007 10:27 PM (9Ml1C)

61 don't go changin Ace. you're still my sweet heteronormative male child

Posted by: Ace's Mom at February 28, 2007 10:32 PM (BH09E)

62 Ace = 'turd burglar'.
ps. i need a place to stay during my usa trip-
would prefer HIV/HEP-C/ friendly households.
regards.
R. Gaygun

Posted by: Ray Gaygun at February 28, 2007 10:32 PM (E15xv)

63 I told you not to talk when I'm doing this, Ace's Mom.

Posted by: z ryan at February 28, 2007 10:33 PM (9Ml1C)

64 Okay, instead of calling you a homo, can we go old school and start calling you a sodomite? 

Sounds classier, no?

Posted by: Sean M. at February 28, 2007 11:06 PM (3bEwq)

65 I embarressed to live within twenty miles of the fucktard. He's got his head so far up his ass that he wouldn't wouldn't know a terrorist unless he was already blown sky high.

Esmay doesn't allow people he doesn't agree with in his little circle jerk, makes a lot of sense for him to chase off his only friends. His med cocktail must be a bit off.

I don't understand why anyone would read him in the first place unless they are RINO's looking for a stroking.

I've met Esmay. He's much worse in person. Something is not right there. I stopped visiting his site a couple of years ago when I realised what a small, strange person he is.

Posted by: mesablue at February 28, 2007 11:31 PM (DzeyU)

66 Reminds me of that Polipundit kertuffle last year...

Posted by: agent bedhead at February 28, 2007 11:59 PM (xV63t)

67 wickedpinto = content warning

Posted by: pajama momma at March 01, 2007 12:12 AM (Pzdiv)

68 So I went to that link and was reminded of some of the flighty douchenozzles from high school who edited the yearbook and wrote on the paper and had fun that way.



Posted by: benrand at March 01, 2007 12:45 AM (N9Nd6)

69 I hadn't heard of the blog you mentioned and had to read it to see what you were talking about. You must be a homo. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Posted by: RoyalOak at March 01, 2007 01:20 AM (OkS8l)

70 Wait, is someone knocking Erfworld and OOTS? Hey! (Yeah, Erfworld ain't as funny as OOTS, but it sure is purty.)

I =could= claim I'm up right now waiting for the OOTS update, but I just get up really early in the morning.

Anyway, back to these rules. I guess I'll use my daily quota of taqiya and dhimmitude. There. Done. Gotta stay on Ace's good side, being a third string (if that) commenter and all.

Posted by: meep at March 01, 2007 01:33 AM (UJPBc)

71 All further spelling and factual corrections shall come discretely via a polite email...



The word is "discreetly", not "discretely".






Posted by: Professor Persnicketty McPedantfairy at March 01, 2007 02:06 AM (hozH7)

72

Hi this is BumperStickerist from the Northeast - longtime lurker,  first time commenter ... am I on?


.... oh, okay ... I think you're right about these rules in the sand and just want to say that I think the Red Sox need a strong training camp to get off to a good start.  Not so much a great won-loss record during the preseason but we need to see some strong peformances earlier this year than most.


Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 01, 2007 02:25 AM (Pkdqo)

73 Wheh! I was afraid that the line in the sand was an end to all jokes about Ace's beloved Val-U-Rite Vodka.

The ironic thing about Dean's hail to the actions of William F. Buckley Jr. is that Buckley himself has a low opinion of Islam.

Posted by: John at March 01, 2007 02:32 AM (2JTlJ)

74 When Michael gets out of rehab can we ban him?

Posted by: BrewFan at March 01, 2007 03:00 AM (P4zSX)

75 Dean Esmay whole argument for Islam is that other religions have been as bad in the "PAST".

I'll even give him that bit of soul searching truth.

With his recent implosion of "submit to my belief or else" that tells me he has finally resorted to Islams main tenet ... "submit or die"!

And that is TODAY not the PAST.

Posted by: jack at March 01, 2007 03:25 AM (aitZQ)

76

Hey!  We're fucking number 1!


Ace of Spades is - by far - the most filthy mouthed of the RW blogs.


http://newsbuckit.blogspot.com/2007/02/seven-words-you-can-never-say-on.html


Nearly 4x as many instances of uneloquent potty-mouthedness as the number 2 ranked Dean Esmay's site


There's probably an undercounting somewhere, but I think this is a moment about which we moron-commenters, and our chief thai tranny loving, hobo killing vodka swilling moron-chief can be proud.


Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 01, 2007 03:32 AM (Pkdqo)

77 So, if Ace is not a homo, does it mean that "everyman must be tempted at times to spit upon his hand, hoist the black flag...." is really about hoisting flags?

Posted by: FreakyBoy at March 01, 2007 03:34 AM (vhP5O)

78 "Oh, Ace of Spades? I think it's about politics and sex.

No, it's about guys who don't have sex. Because nothing is more attractive to a woman than a bunch of middle age balding fat guys who spend all their time on the computer.

Posted by: at March 01, 2007 03:41 AM (uHs+t)

79 Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.

Gratz Ace, on being the most potty-mouthed Right-wing blog!

ya fucking homo

Posted by: Barbula at March 01, 2007 03:57 AM (zf6OM)

80 Damn you Bumper!

Of course, I've got a fucking life.

Posted by: Barbula at March 01, 2007 03:59 AM (zf6OM)

81 Don't be such a faggot, Ace.

Oh, and taq'iya.

Posted by: Pablo at March 01, 2007 04:03 AM (KX0k4)

82 While I do appreciate you using the more classy term "love" instead of "job," I must say that my crush on McCain would be better described as a slow french kiss.

It's a long drawn out french kiss too. So get used to it.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at March 01, 2007 04:05 AM (gZ/8m)

83

No, it's about guys who don't have sex. Because nothing is more attractive to a woman than a bunch of middle age balding fat guys who spend all their time on the computer.


Rosetta, are you going to take that lying down?


Posted by: pajama momma at March 01, 2007 04:10 AM (Pzdiv)

84

I would just like to point out that I've never called you gay.


 


But calling Dean a moron who suckles at the teat of Islam is old. Very old.


http://www.indcjournal.com/archives/002793.php


 


 


 


Posted by: Veeshir at March 01, 2007 04:17 AM (zXUuJ)

85 No, it's about guys who don't have sex. Because nothing is more attractive to a woman than a bunch of middle age balding fat guys who spend all their time on the computer.

Now see here Simpleton! Your broad generalizations express the pompous nature of your intellect! I'll have you know that I am neither Fat, nor bald, and not even middle aged!

Since you found it imperative to throw down the gauntlet.....Have at you!

Posted by: Seferas-H. at March 01, 2007 04:37 AM (fdeNn)

86 >>Rosetta, are you going to take that lying down?

Must not say it....

Posted by: JackStraw at March 01, 2007 04:37 AM (t+mja)

87 Why resist the urge JackStraw? I say........GO!

Posted by: pajama momma at March 01, 2007 04:39 AM (Pzdiv)

88 Speaking of McCain love, I have to repeat a comment I made at HotAir about your guy, Rudy. It's important:

Politico and Hugh Hewitt have a piece revealing Rudy’s past choice of judges:

“A Politico review of the 75 judges Giuliani appointed to three of New York state’s lower courts found that Democrats outnumbered Republicans by more than 8 to 1. One of his appointments was an officer of the International Association of Lesbian and Gay Judges. Another ruled that the state law banning liquor sales on Sundays was unconstitutional because it was insufficiently secular.

A third, an abortion-rights supporter, later made it to the federal bench in part because New York Sen. Charles E. Schumer, a liberal Democrat, said he liked her ideology.”


So…for all of you who keep insisting to me that Rudy will appoint “strict constuctionists” so I need not worry on that end, all I can say is the proof is in the pudding.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at March 01, 2007 04:39 AM (gZ/8m)

89 Wait!

Ace can still us jerkoffs, but we cant call him a Homo? That is totally ghey! Its like he wont allow us a reacharound!

Where is the justice?!?

Posted by: Robert at March 01, 2007 04:46 AM (lhVve)

90 Ace, you gotta add this to your Ace of Spades Greatest Hitjobs. Awesome post.

(Homo.)

(What? I was talking to Bart.)

Also, another OotS reader here! *waves hand* I also like DM of the Rings, which Ace linked a while back. Schlock Mercenary and 8-bit Theater are good too, but I'm way behind on both of those.

But no webcomic can beat Sluggy Freelance, which I personally rank right up there with Calvin and Hobbes as one of the greatest comics of all time.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at March 01, 2007 04:47 AM (njtAn)

91 I went by the taq'iya stand for a delicious hot dhimmitude, but this being Texas all I got was a taqo and a Longneck. Having said all that, including both words in a post, now can I violate some rules?

Posted by: Austin Mike at March 01, 2007 04:55 AM (C+9LY)

92 Great Post


Ace and Allah what?
Went to see a homo flick?
Who could have guessed that?

Posted by: 3rd_Bird at March 01, 2007 05:08 AM (feHBS)

93 I have to agree with the opinion that Sunday blue laws are too secular. I'm pro-life, but I think if we hold too fast to a strict agenda, we're going to end up losers in elections. Personally, my pro-life activities are better spent on a local level (supporting crises pregnancy centers, and the like.) I've already sent Rudy a check.

And, I don't think I've ever called Ace a Homo.

Posted by: Carin at March 01, 2007 05:16 AM (mVQn5)

94 WOOOOOO!!!!! AoS is the most foulmouthed conblog EVVVAAAAAHHH!!!!!

Posted by: Sinistar at March 01, 2007 05:20 AM (oHd6r)

95 RWS said:
It's a long drawn out french kiss too. So get used to it.

Number of ejaculations: 7

Sluggy Freelance?

Posted by: Roy at March 01, 2007 05:34 AM (TfeE1)

96 'Ey, fush you, mang!

Posted by: Tony Montana at March 01, 2007 05:35 AM (tCR95)

97 No, it's about guys who don't have sex. Because nothing is more attractive to a woman than a bunch of middle age balding fat guys who spend all their time on the computer.

Hey! I'll have you know that this here moronblog is home to people of all genders and sexualities who aren't having sex. Or at least aren't having the sex involving other people.

Try to be more inclusive. What kind of dhimmitude are you attempting to place me under?

Posted by: alexthechick at March 01, 2007 05:36 AM (SHHaV)

98 Carin: I've never treated you like a homo.

Ace: You just did.


Posted by: Pretty Blogger at March 01, 2007 05:36 AM (TfeE1)

99 Its not mere dhiminitde,

that unlike Ace, I am,

Not a flouncing homo,

But hot for MK Ham.

Posted by: Professor Persnickety McPedantfairy at March 01, 2007 05:37 AM (KeOQp)

100 review of the 75 judges Giuliani appointed to three of New York state’s lower courts found that Democrats outnumbered Republicans by more than 8 to 1

That's because there are only 2 Republicans in New York.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at March 01, 2007 05:39 AM (c/2jq)

101 Positively Ankaesque. The master would be proud.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 01, 2007 05:43 AM (t+mja)

102 Dhimmitude. Dhimmituuuude. Dhimmitude.

I like saying that. I also like saying "orangutan" and "especially." And "chili con carne" if I get to roll the r's. Chili con carrrrrrrrrne.

Posted by: S. Weasel at March 01, 2007 05:43 AM (rasT+)

103 The line must be drawn HERE!

Posted by: Captain Picard at March 01, 2007 05:44 AM (lPxkl)

104 I must say that my crush on McCain would be better described as a slow french kiss.

Did you knock his dentures loose?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 01, 2007 05:55 AM (pzen5)

105 It would be nice, in the analysis of which blog hemisphere is more foul-mouthed, if they had given the total number of pages. Or better, the total number of words posted. I mean, it could just be that the sinestrosphere has 18 times as much volume.

Not likely, but it could be.

Posted by: Roy at March 01, 2007 05:56 AM (TfeE1)

106

Well, I don't want to sound like a moralistic snootypuss, but I'm kinda proud that the right wing blogosphere is much less foulmouthed than the left wing. I always figured that to be so.


Which makes it kinda ironic that this is my favorite blog to read and comment on, but there you have it.


It may be the most foulmouthed, but it's also the funniest.


Posted by: Nice Deb at March 01, 2007 06:07 AM (HfGmJ)

107 THANKS for the cat BAN.

Now if we can just do domething about those throw pillows and posies that this blog keeps getting littered with.

Posted by: max at March 01, 2007 06:15 AM (7jxRN)

108 Hey! I like kitties!
Only homos don't like kitties.

Ok, that last sentence did not really make sense.

Please, don't ban me Master Ace.

Posted by: Stormy70 at March 01, 2007 06:22 AM (7WJsV)

109 6. WickedPinto must give a CONTENT WARNING announcing "I'm about to get seriously weird here, guys" before launching into one of his six thousand word opuses on banging Okinawan whores while simultaneously installing an air-ram on his 1964 Chevy Chevelle.

Good goshomighty life is sweet when you can start your morning with a genuine, wholehog, bellylaugh.

And I totally concur. I've wanted to ask WP on several occasions what he's mixing in with his crystal meth, but being he's an ex-marine I figured he'd hunt me down and stick me with a bayonette.

And don't forget Ace; after some shit like that, we all get shirts.

Posted by: Sticky B at March 01, 2007 06:40 AM (rWWLr)

110 RWS: I must say that my crush on McCain would be better described as a slow french kiss. It's a long drawn out french kiss too. So get used to it.

---



*BAAAAAARRRRRFFF*

Posted by: Sinistar at March 01, 2007 06:58 AM (oHd6r)

111 My, my. It seems my McCain statement is causing all sorts of things to exit body orifice's.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at March 01, 2007 07:09 AM (gZ/8m)

112 Can I call you a sapiens?

Posted by: McGehee at March 01, 2007 07:17 AM (lAOTn)

113 What's with the homotude, Ace?

Worm.

Posted by: Professor Persnickety McPedantfairy at March 01, 2007 07:19 AM (w4Bx4)

114 My, my. It seems my McCain statement is causing all sorts of things to exit body orifice's.

I threw up a little bit in my mouth, so technically I guess it didn't leave.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 01, 2007 07:20 AM (pzen5)

115 So far today RWS has talked about long slow french kisses and body orifices. The apocalypse is near.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 01, 2007 07:23 AM (t+mja)

116 You jerkoffs will no longer call me a homo.

ace,

Since I'm not a jerkoff I assume I'm excluded from that rule.

Is that correct, you knee-pad wearing, hobo fellating, Bukkake Sluts 12 starring, ass reaming, cum swallowing gutter whore faggot?

And out of respect for you mother I will not draw attention to the fact you had an episiotomy on your glory hole so you can take JackM and Wickedpinto at the same time.

No one needs to know that shit.

Posted by: Rosetta at March 01, 2007 07:29 AM (omkIU)

117 Heh.

Posted by: Sinistar at March 01, 2007 07:30 AM (oHd6r)

118 This is for all of you Rudy fans, especially ACE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVBtPIrEleM

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at March 01, 2007 07:41 AM (gZ/8m)

119 Sorry. Link here.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at March 01, 2007 07:42 AM (gZ/8m)

120 Well, I'm not exactly good with ultimatums; but it doesn't affect me, I apparently don't have a comment setup over there.

I'd be a bit concerned if a blog I regularly commented on did this... you have to wonder what is next.

If you don't believe in Global Warming you'll be banned.

If you question the wisdom of my almightly plan to summon Aliens to this plane of existence you'll be banned.

If you comment about my wearing my underpants on my head, you'll be BANNED. Muahahahaha... whatever.

Odd that a lot of blogs try to increase their hits, readership, scope, etc. and Dean Esmay decides to go the other way and see if he can minimize his blog. I hope he succeeds beyond his wildest dreams in driving people away from his blog. But the underpants on the head thing, not really a fashion statement that will catch on.

Posted by: Gekkobear at March 01, 2007 07:42 AM (X0NX1)

121 Rosetta, are you going to take that lying down?

JackStraw and pj momma, the line to kiss my sweet ass starts HERE.

Posted by: Rosetta at March 01, 2007 07:44 AM (omkIU)

122 Rosetta, are you going to take that lying down?

Of course! Why should s/he break the habits of a lifetime now?

Posted by: max at March 01, 2007 07:50 AM (7jxRN)

123 So…for all of you who keep insisting to me that Rudy will appoint “strict constuctionists” so I need not worry on that end, all I can say is the proof is in the pudding.

Well, actually, you can't.

Question: Which Republican president made the biggest impact on the federal bench and turning the tide to advance the conservative agenda?

Answer: Ronald Reagan

Question: Who, working in the Reagan administration as associate attorney general with Ted Olson helped select, vet and recommend these conservative constructionists to the Federal bench, maintaining a majority even after 325 appointments by Clinton?

Answer: The same guy Ted Olson just announced he would support for the Republican nomination.

you know who.


Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 01, 2007 07:55 AM (pzen5)

124

JackStraw and pj momma, the line to kiss my sweet ass starts HERE


Is that your picture? You're actually better looking than I thought. They did a good job on the Adam's apple.


Posted by: pajama momma at March 01, 2007 07:56 AM (Pzdiv)

125 >>JackStraw and pj momma, the line to kiss my sweet ass starts HERE.

Rosie, honey, I keep telling you I only hit from the right side of the plate. Trying to entice me with your ass is just not gonna get you the result you're looking for.

Homo.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 01, 2007 08:02 AM (t+mja)

126 Who appointed a whole slew of left-leaning judges while Mayor?

Rudy!

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0207/2957.html

Who have Reagan White House insiders said only had a minimal role in judicial selection there?

Rudy!

Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at March 01, 2007 08:06 AM (w4Bx4)

127 Veeshir,

Did Dean "out" you in that thread at InDC based on information he had in your comment account?

If so, that's pretty sleazy.

Posted by: at March 01, 2007 08:08 AM (Pt3Le)

128 Who gave us the crack team of Kennedy and O'Connor, according to DiT?

Rudy!

Here's the thing. Giuliani is way pro-abortion. He even favored partial birth abortion, which is pretty dang extreme.

But I'd still be willing to support him if he'd appoint good judges, promise to keep defending in court pro-life laws like the Partial Birth Abortion Act, and promise not to fund abortion and stuff.

But the only one of these he's even made a gesture towards is the judges, and given his record on everything else, vague talk about appointed conservative judges just doesn't cut it. He needs to attack Roe v. Wade. Period. If he can't even bring himself to acknowledge that it was a horrible decision, then I can't trust him to actually appoint decent judges.

All this about appointed 8 Democrat judges for every 1 Republican judge does not help. Its by no means a deal-breaker, because Giuliani was in NYC after all. I'm pretty sure Romney appointed some Dem judges too. But it means Giuliani just can't mumble about appointing conservative judges and assume he's taken care of the problem. Hell, GWB had much better pro-life bona fides than Giuliani and we don't even know yet if his talk about appointing good judges meant anything. Giuliani can't get away with the same st uff.

Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at March 01, 2007 08:20 AM (w4Bx4)

129 **CONTENT REMOVED BY HOST**

Posted by: at March 01, 2007 08:26 AM (Pt3Le)

130 Emporer, can you cite your "inside White House" sources who claim minimal input from Rudy. And doesn't it seem funny to follow that up with the SCOTUS examples? I can't tell which side of the argument you want to make, he did nothing or he did something.

On a different note, lighten up Francis. I'm not mad. Are you?

So who's your ideal candidate?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 01, 2007 08:34 AM (pzen5)

131 Sorry. Link here.
Posted by Rightwingsparkle at March 1, 2007 12:42 PM


Good work, RWS. You just turned me off of Giuliani. I can't stand RINO doubletalk. Still, I'll never vote McCain.

Al Sharpton is looking better and better.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at March 01, 2007 08:38 AM (c/2jq)

132 DiT,

It was one of the National Review crowd, when that meme first came out about how Giuliani could be trusted because he'd worked in Reagan's Justice Department and had his finger in the appointment pies. I expect whoever it was will surface again.

I don't have an ideal candidate. My rank ordering of acceptable candidates is probably something like Romney>McCain>Newt. Either Barbour or Jeb would top the list for me if they jumped in. I could even get excited about either of them.

You really want me to lighten up Francis more than he already is? Brown people are scary, but what about albinos? Frick'n Satan's palefaces.

Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at March 01, 2007 08:45 AM (w4Bx4)

133 How long would it take to build a robot Ronald Reagan so we can run him for president?

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at March 01, 2007 08:54 AM (c/2jq)

134 Ok, I'll keep an eye out.

FWIW, I'm not jumping on the Rudy bandwagon, I'm just expressing a preference over McCain. I think I've been pretty open about my Rudy reservations (as has the host of this blog, and ace friggin loves the guy, NTTAWWT) - guns, social con issues, etc.

I'm pro-life too. So, anyhow.

I tweak RWS for the non-stop McCain love, but she's a fakey internet friend and she knows it ain't mean spirited. Sometimes the defense of the indefensible bugs me, mostly because I think it makes us pro-lifers look bad when we're willing to overlook things that are glaringly awful about the man. I've never been one of those "he may be a son of a bitch, but by God he's our son of a bitch" kind of guys.

Not that I know of.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 01, 2007 08:56 AM (W5xJB)

135 McCain may be our son of a bitch (until the primaries are over) but he's still a son of a bitch.

Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at March 01, 2007 09:06 AM (w4Bx4)

136 Esmay is off his rocker these days. I'm not reading that pompous gasbag's stuff - particularly now that he's going to go all echo chamber.

Posted by: JosephD at March 01, 2007 09:23 AM (q1iOs)

137 All I know is, whoever the Republican candidate ends up being, he's got my vote.

Posted by: Nice Deb at March 01, 2007 09:32 AM (LOy5G)

138 " 3) Islam as a religion is no more inherently incompatible with modernity, minority rights, women's rights, or democratic pluralism than most religions."

"If you declare that Islam is more inherently incompatible with modernity, women's rights, or democratic pluralism than most other religions, then you have essentially stated that Islam is by far worse than most other religions on this score."

A question for Dean Esmay, his supporters, and anyone who cares to answer.

Are there any religions (including Islam) where you'd fear for the safety of yourself and/or your family if you wrote a mocking cartoon about the religion?

Lets say you wrote a book that pointed out flaws and issues with a religion? Is there a religion (including Islam) where you'd fear for a price being put on your head? How many religons, and which ones?

Now, presuming you answered honestly, and with some minor shred of understanding, you've now forced yourself to be banned from Dean Esmay's blog due to your dirty awful Islamophobia. That or you're so incapable of identifying a threat that you shouldn't be allowed outside without a keeper.

Posted by: Gekkobear at March 01, 2007 09:32 AM (X0NX1)

139 My, my. It seems my McCain statement is causing all sorts of things to exit body orifice's.

If it counts, RWS, I just farted.

Oh, and your kissing partner just said all our losses in Iraq were wasted.

I may not vote in '08 if this is all we can come up with....

/dhimmitude

Posted by: TXMarko at March 01, 2007 09:35 AM (abeTw)

140 McCain is a real piece of work.

He suffered for years at the hands of the VC, but it only took a few more years in Washington to truly break him....

Posted by: TXMarko at March 01, 2007 09:39 AM (abeTw)

141

"Ingracefully"? That's a rather nonfluiditudinous word, isn't it?


It's a perfectly cromulent word.


Posted by: marchand chronicles at March 01, 2007 11:34 AM (QhAGc)

142 And not only do two of your cobloggers leave, your own wife, an inactive coblogger, decides she can no longer live under your Mr. Bossyblog rules anymore either. (I mean, she leaves the blog, not Esmay.)


Dude, you could've at least given me a pity link. I mean, my own blog, The Queen of All Evil is quite cool. That's why I'm fairly inactive on Dean's and because I won't swallow his "rules" .

Posted by: Rosemary Esmay at March 01, 2007 01:16 PM (xWs24)

143 Hiya Rosemary - long time no. How's the baby?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 01, 2007 01:19 PM (pzen5)

144 True, Ace, pimp Rosemary's blog...c'mon she deserves it.

Posted by: Sinistar at March 01, 2007 01:20 PM (oHd6r)

145 Hey Dave!

The baby is 2 already and he is EVIL. I couldn't be prouder! Jake's good too. They both take after me in looks and brains. ;-)

Posted by: Rosemary Esmay at March 01, 2007 01:23 PM (xWs24)

146 Wow... 2 years already. That's great dear.

I tell people my girls got their good looks from me, cause their mom still has hers.

She loves it when I say that.

seeya

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 01, 2007 01:51 PM (pzen5)

147 So they didn't take after me, huh, RE?

Well, probably for the best. Could be awkward otherwise.

Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at March 01, 2007 02:04 PM (w4Bx4)

148 Shouldn't it be WTFWWFBW?
I mean, as long as we're stringing consonsants, what's a few more on the chain?

PS more kitties! mew!

Posted by: at March 01, 2007 02:06 PM (t1iPt)

149 This is the funniest post I've ever read at Ace O' Spades, and that's saying something. I got a headache from laughing so hard.


Oh, and Dhimmitude.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 01, 2007 02:55 PM (wmgz8)

150 Hey, Rosetta. Nice tits!

You should see my beaver.


Rosie, honey, I keep telling you I only hit from the right side of the plate.

I call this contention into question. Exhibit A:

Bah, I don't know much about much. Never stopped me from talking.
Posted by JackStraw at January 16, 2007 10:36 PM

I love that bit.

NICE DEB!!!! JUICEBOX!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Rosetta at March 01, 2007 03:05 PM (omkIU)

151 C'mon Ace,

Using Esmay for kickball became OLD back in, um, 2004. No, wait, 2003. Uh oh - 2002.

So far behind he thinks he's in the lead.

*snort*

btw - I'd never call ya a homo, cause I really believed the description of you and Allah "crossing swords" really being all about prep for your next Society for Creative Anachronisms convention.

Really! It must be true - hey, I read it on the internets!

Posted by: Wind Rider at March 01, 2007 03:08 PM (ObrPZ)

152 You should see my beaver.


I understand you just had it stuffed.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 01, 2007 04:16 PM (wmgz8)

153 I think everyone should start calling ace 'Snuggly' like I do. Why the Hell not?

Posted by: Feisty at March 01, 2007 04:33 PM (NhAcM)

154 I understand you just had it stuffed.

We should take this act on the road. We'll be HUGE!!!

Posted by: Rosetta at March 01, 2007 04:56 PM (omkIU)

155 Right Wing Sparkle may want to become better informed before squirting on Guiliani's judicial picks.

Ed Morrissey quoting Bill Simon: The mayor does not have a free hand in judicial appointments in New York City. An independent panel gives the mayor a choice of three candidates for each open seat, and the mayor has to select from those three. Rudy did not choose the candidates; he had to select one of three locked-in choices.

Posted by: lloyd at March 01, 2007 06:29 PM (fzynz)

156 Creamy Emperor :

So they didn't take after me, huh, RE?

Dude, you sent me money so I took a mulligan on that little problem. I can't be having swarthy babies with back hair, I'm way too nordic looking.

Posted by: Rosemary Esmay at March 01, 2007 07:03 PM (xWs24)

157 Nordic looking?


Damned scandi!!!

check your e ms. Esmay. If it's the same addr as that pregnant butt thing. Ick.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 01, 2007 07:19 PM (W5xJB)

158 he had to select one of three locked-in choices.


And with a Democratic Congress, you think that will change how, exactly? We have a demonstration of who he picked for judges, and it ain't what he's pretending he would now.


Why would he anyway? "OK I want a judge that disagrees with my positions on every fundamental issue, yeah I'll pick a guy that I am opposed to for the job."


Sure he will. Great mayor, lousy President.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 01, 2007 09:09 PM (wmgz8)

159 he had to select one of three locked-in choices.

And with a Democratic Congress, you think that will change how, exactly?


Um . . . because the President nominates judges for the Senate's approval, not the other way around?

Posted by: lloyd at March 02, 2007 03:38 PM (fzynz)

160 AOS = Home of Dhomotude

Posted by: Nancypantz McNonfluiditudinous at March 02, 2007 07:38 PM (l1oyw)

161 Um . . . because the President nominates judges for the Senate's approval, not the other way around?

And these will get approved unless they are left leaning judges, you believe?

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 03, 2007 08:00 AM (wmgz8)

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