April 29, 2010
— Jack M. Many of you are wondering what I am going to run on should I declare an independent candidacy for the United States Senate.
I think the most compelling issue is abundantly clear. Quite simply, I am going to run on the platform of Repeal & Replace!
Seriously...doesn't that link prove my conservative bona-fides to you wingnuts? What more do you want out of me?
Oh...and maybe I'll try to get Bill Clinton a Congressional Gold Medal for sending that Cuban punk back to Havana. During the primary campaign, I came to appreciate just how prudent and farsighted a gesture that was. In fact, as I gazed upon the increasing distance between myself and Speaker Rubio in the polls, I often found myself asking "Where is Janet Reno when she's really needed?"
So, that's pretty much it. Repealing the tanning tax and deporting inconvenient Cubans before they have a chance to grow up and run against you.
That's really all I got. Obama's stimulating everything else just fine, I think.
Well, that's not really true. I do have one other selling point.
I blow one mean Conch! That's important to Florida's voters, especially those who live in the Keys. Why, on a good day, one can see virtually unlimited conch roaming wild and free in their native habitat!
See...here I am putting my talent to full, effective use.
People tell me I have a natural talent for it. "Charlie," they say "you seem like a guy who's blown a lot of conch." I also hear voters tell me that "Washington is full of conch-suckers like you" and that makes me confident that I'll fit in just fine! Unlike my two opponents, Rubio and Meek, who I have never seen blow a conch. I don't think anyone's ever even alleged it.
I mean, that has to count for something, right? My "learning curve" will be much shorter than theirs, and I will be able to get to work on behalf of Floridians that much quicker.
The more I think about it, the more excited I get! I can see it now....hanging out in the cloakrooms, voting with the Democrats 95% of the time, and transforming myself into a one man Chamber of Commerce for Florida Conch.
I have to end this post now, as I have a phone call from Senator Graham to return. He wants to discuss a "comprehensive conch cap and trade" bill, and I am eager to show my ability to reach around the aisle.
See you fine folks in November!
Posted by: Hobo at April 29, 2010 11:18 AM (V8B//)
Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2010 11:19 AM (QrA9E)
Posted by: nine coconuts at April 29, 2010 11:19 AM (DHNp4)
And Rahm can poke me in the chest with his dick hanging out any time he wants!
Posted by: Gov. Charlie Crist, Human Traffic Cone at April 29, 2010 11:19 AM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Barney Fwank at April 29, 2010 11:19 AM (tf9Ne)
Posted by: Charlie Crist at April 29, 2010 11:19 AM (IhQuA)
I blow one mean Conch!
As do I.
Posted by: Monica Lewinsky-Devilette in a Blue Dress at April 29, 2010 11:20 AM (pLTLS)
Take it from me, when it comes to blowing conch, it's the tongue action that separates the men from the boys.
Posted by: Lindsey Graham at April 29, 2010 11:20 AM (ZSVyF)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 11:20 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: disgusted conch at April 29, 2010 11:21 AM (4Kl5M)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 11:21 AM (mR7mk)
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 11:22 AM (1fanL)
Posted by: Benson at April 29, 2010 11:22 AM (qzcNU)
Posted by: steve at April 29, 2010 11:23 AM (nd0uY)
Chuck, here's a tip (although something tells me you're not a novice)-- no teeth!
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 11:23 AM (pLTLS)
Posted by: looking closely at April 29, 2010 11:23 AM (PwGfd)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 11:25 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: C. Crist, Civic Servant and Activist in Florida at April 29, 2010 11:25 AM (DHNp4)
See ya in the Senate, Chuck! We're both sure to win!
Posted by: Arlen Specter at April 29, 2010 11:25 AM (3hg5M)
Every Republican donor to Crist should demand their donations be returned asap.
Then let him find a replacement source.
Posted by: Lazarus Long at April 29, 2010 11:26 AM (+MZ0U)
Posted by: mpfs at April 29, 2010 11:27 AM (QuP9W)
Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at April 29, 2010 11:30 AM (8lCJT)
in case any of you morons are unaware:
Posted by: Charlie Krisp at April 29, 2010 11:31 AM (UaxA0)
Posted by: starboardhelm at April 29, 2010 11:31 AM (SgSfB)
and the N is usually silent.
Posted by: Charllie Krisp at April 29, 2010 11:31 AM (UaxA0)
Cornyn told reporters today that donors across the country have already requested refunds from Crist.
That process is well under way, he told reporters today. People have already begun to ask for their money back.
I saw another story today (but don't have the link handy) that Crist's campaign was talking about pro-rating donor refunds (pro-rating for what?)
Posted by: looking closely at April 29, 2010 11:32 AM (PwGfd)
Posted by: ian at April 29, 2010 11:34 AM (b/qUt)
Posted by: KilltheHippies at April 29, 2010 11:35 AM (VKfXw)
April 29, 2010
Charlie Crist's campaign giving donors partial refunds.
The Charlie Crist campaign is already hearing from donors asking for their money back, and the campaign is giving donors pro-rated refunds.Posted by Adam Smith at 12:09:46 PM on April 29, 2010
Which begs the question of why only partial refunds? He's only refunding the money he hasn't spent yet?
Posted by: looking closely at April 29, 2010 11:35 AM (6Q9g2)
Posted by: ian at April 29, 2010 11:36 AM (b/qUt)
He's taking a principled position. It's not fair to expect GOP donations to be kept by an independent candidate. But GOP donations to a stealth Dem shitheel is fair game, bitches.
Posted by: Lindsey Graham at April 29, 2010 11:36 AM (ZSVyF)
Conch? - more like a cleverly disguised opium pipe.
Posted by: J. Peterman at April 29, 2010 11:38 AM (GwPRU)
Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 11:42 AM (ajjrO)
Posted by: a moron with a huge conch at April 29, 2010 11:47 AM (YVZlY)
Posted by: the smart-ass moron with the huge conch at April 29, 2010 11:49 AM (YVZlY)
Posted by: Random Voter at April 29, 2010 11:53 AM (ajjrO)
Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 29, 2010 12:17 PM (1Jaio)
Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at April 29, 2010 01:10 PM (mHQ7T)
Posted by: Orwellian at April 29, 2010 01:49 PM (EXx/A)
Posted by: cackfinger at April 29, 2010 02:32 PM (TUBcJ)
Posted by: cackfinger at April 29, 2010 02:37 PM (TUBcJ)
Advice for Charlie:
Blow is just a euphemism.
Posted by: memomachine at April 29, 2010 03:27 PM (MwCol)
Well it's obvious he's no tea bagger.
Posted by: Support the NRSC at April 29, 2010 04:17 PM (2Ye5I)
Posted by: JC at April 29, 2010 04:46 PM (kmuoQ)
Posted by: D1Stewart at April 29, 2010 05:45 PM (jb8Yk)
Posted by: T8 to T5 adapter Kits at April 29, 2010 10:14 PM (qgFwU)
Posted by: weight loss at April 29, 2010 11:52 PM (lAoNn)
Posted by: abc acai berry at June 21, 2011 04:13 PM (SFnqb)
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