July 30, 2006

A Few Words From Mr. Gibson
— LauraW.

PREEMPTIVE UPDATE: For background on this post, click here.

First of all, though I didn't appreciate Ace's post about my recent indiscretions, I forgive him because he and I have been friends for many years. Sometimes close pals say things you aren't really interested in hearing. Even families fight, but at the end of the day they're still family.

Second of all, I'm here today to tell you all to get off his tits.

Whoa, a guest post that's actually funny. First one ever?

Posted by someone at July 30, 2006 02:59 PM


Dear someone,
Your mother is a Jew.

Regarding the elephant in the living room:

1. Ace clearly underwent a melt-down.

2. His comments over at Wizbang were really ugly. He sounded unbalanced, wild-eyed crazy. He sounded like a Kos kid.

3. Repeatedly calling someone a cunt: awful.

Posted by Ed Snate at July 30, 2006 11:53 AM


Regarding the elephant in the livingroom:
1. Are you a Jew?

If you have any further complaints about Ace, please register them at 1-800-SUCK-MY-UNCIRCUMCISED-PURPLE-HEADED-CHRISTIAN-SOLDIER-YOU-HYMIE-BASTARDS.
But feel free to cut on Michael, who is vaguely Jewy.

And don't miss the release of my new movie, Apocalypto, which is in post-production right now.

Posted by: LauraW. at 11:02 AM | Comments (59)
Post contains 213 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Wow, that guy's out of control.

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2006 11:04 AM (wKh5O)

2 Hmmmm.... I'm not so sure about LauraW. "W" sounds like a jew initial to me.

Posted by: Xoxotl at July 30, 2006 11:09 AM (qUG21)

3 Jeez, you don't have to get all snippy and everything. Do you suck Ace's dick, or do you just play with it?

Posted by: at July 30, 2006 11:15 AM (8xho0)

4 Sorry, that was me. Between juggling my pills and the bottle of Ripple, I forgot to post my name. Which I'm not sure of, anyway

Posted by: Dr. Demento at July 30, 2006 11:17 AM (8xho0)

5 So much for "let's be civil day."

Don't worry too much about Ace, he's done this once or twice before. Once he has some pie, he'll be fine.

He'd better be. I'm far more interested in his upcoming review of "Snakes on a Plane" than I am in actually seeing the flick.

Posted by: alear at July 30, 2006 11:24 AM (eruDT)

6 Second of all, I'm here today to tell you all to get off his tits.

But, they're so sweet!

Posted by: shawn at July 30, 2006 11:28 AM (ibtCa)

7 I have not composed a retarded rejoinder. An affirmation of this sentiment, composed thusly, which will amount to "that Dave in Texas guy, he's lamer than Dennis Weaver limping down main street in Dodge City".

Many of you will consider that metaphor and think "that's so lame".

Well you're all old enough to get it, so there. Nyah.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 30, 2006 11:33 AM (wQVZr)

8 Re-reading that Dr. Demento, it does look more like I'm showing hostility to the commenters, when I was mostly intending to pick on Mel Gibson.

Sorry 'bout that. This is why some of us are co-bloggers, and not the Real Thing.

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2006 11:37 AM (JPN72)

9 if you're going to post as a sock puppet, get the references strait....

that should be "get off his sugar-tits"


Posted by: moflicky at July 30, 2006 12:19 PM (1zLWs)

10 ". . . when I was mostly intending to pick on Mel Gibson."

I got that, Lauraw, LOL.

Relatedly: does anyone find it, uh, "ironic" that there's an "international outcry" over the Israeli air strike that killed civilians in Cana ... and nary an international peep over the 2000-plus rockets launched by Hezbollah in past few weeks that have struck civilian sites and killed civilians areas in Israel?

Or that there's no international outcry over the Muslim gunman who shot up civilivian Jewish women in the woman's Jewish center in Seattle?

Is "ironic" the right word for this situation?

Headline I'd like to see: "American "Street" Rises Up Over Shootings In Seattle, Occupies Iranian Embassy."

As for Ace: I'm sympathetic. I've had my share of meltdowns. Hell, I spend a goodly portion of my life in meltdown mode. I've found pizzas, blowjobs, and bear to be a good curative. Not necessarily in that order.

Posted by: Ed Snate at July 30, 2006 12:38 PM (SMsv7)

11 Oopsie, I meant to say "beer" not "bear." Andrew Sullivan, just calm down, okay?

Posted by: Ed Snate at July 30, 2006 12:39 PM (SMsv7)

12 Having clarified that point ... I'd happily accept a pizza from a bear. Or a blowjob from a pizza.

But not a blowjob from a bear.

Esta claro?

Posted by: Ed Snate at July 30, 2006 12:41 PM (SMsv7)

13 >>Second of all, I'm here today to tell you all to get off his tits.

>>But, they're so sweet!

You could call them Sugar Tits

Posted by: Mel Gibson at July 30, 2006 12:45 PM (9ULFg)

14 Ed Snate -- "You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

Posted by: richard mcenroe at July 30, 2006 12:47 PM (agsQN)

15 Ace is on Atkins, so his tits are more like Splenda tits.

Posted by: pajama momma at July 30, 2006 12:50 PM (42nqg)

16 I hate Jews, too, why don't I get any attention?

Posted by: Cindy Sheehan at July 30, 2006 12:56 PM (Z9w2l)

17 I hate Jews, too, why don't I get any attention?

You get more than you deserve sister Cindy!

Posted by: at July 30, 2006 01:03 PM (42nqg)

18 I hate joooos too! Vote for me!

Posted by: Democratic Party at July 30, 2006 01:05 PM (hTcQ6)

19 lauraw,

The best post of the weekend! Which, given the level of the competition, may be regarded as a backhanded compliment at best

Posted by: BrewFan at July 30, 2006 01:09 PM (hTcQ6)

20 Move over, David Hasselhoff, say hello to the new icon in Germany.

Posted by: Mel G. at July 30, 2006 01:16 PM (ryxKb)

21 Is now an inappropriate time to mention that Sugar Tits go great with a bagel and some lox?

Posted by: Gordon at July 30, 2006 01:22 PM (GzHh/)

22 Is now an inappropriate time to mention that Sugar Tits go great with a bagel and some lox?

There's just way too many carbs in that kind of meal.

Posted by: pajama momma at July 30, 2006 01:30 PM (42nqg)

23 Wow. I just looked at this weekend's posts. You guest posters abused this blog like a rented Ace's sister. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: sandy burger at July 30, 2006 01:32 PM (zHO88)

24 great site with good look and information...i like it

Posted by: Litfaßsäule at July 30, 2006 01:33 PM (wzHWw)

25 Don't be stupid and click on the above spam like i did. Damn the OCD!

Posted by: pajama momma at July 30, 2006 01:36 PM (42nqg)

26 Wow. I just looked at this weekend's posts. You guest posters abused this blog like a rented Ace's sister. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Ace doesn't have any sisters -- only brothers. Though I'm sure it's not the first time you ended up with a chick with a dick, sandy.

Posted by: shawn at July 30, 2006 01:56 PM (ibtCa)

27 Yeah well I clicked on you too.

Posted by: pajama momma at July 30, 2006 01:56 PM (42nqg)

28 Don't be stupid and click on the above spam like i did. Damn the OCD!

I may not have OCD, but now the urge to resist clicking on the button is out of control.

Posted by: Gordon at July 30, 2006 02:00 PM (GzHh/)

29

Wow. I just looked at this weekend's posts. You guest posters abused this blog like a rented Ace's sister.


I'm still trying to find his lesbian porn before he changes the password on us.


Posted by: Michael at July 30, 2006 02:01 PM (xTnLp)

30 Damn, you're right. Not worth the trip.

Posted by: Gordon at July 30, 2006 02:01 PM (GzHh/)

31 You should use the "Saddam" picture at Allah's.

Posted by: someone at July 30, 2006 02:12 PM (c2NB9)

32 I'm still trying to find his lesbian porn before he changes the password on us.

Probably one of his all time famous Ace-capades, when he unknowingly linked to his porn collection and then went to run errands.

Posted by: shawn at July 30, 2006 02:15 PM (ibtCa)

33 YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE SUCKING BALLS!

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 30, 2006 02:17 PM (uRBBE)

34 If I could have just three wishes (*)...

A. World peace, a lifetime supply of Funions, and a place of my own
B. Make me rich, make me good-looking, and the third wish is a tip for the genie
C. I sure as hell wouldn't wish for these scabies, that's for damn sure
D. You'd all rue the day


(*) Don't even start with that "I'd wish for three more wishes" crap. It's against the rules.

Posted by: sandy burger at July 30, 2006 02:55 PM (zHO88)

35 What's your excuse for missing church this morning?

A. I'm not a Christian (not that there's anything wrong with that).
B. I don't think God wants his pews puked on.
C. Oh, like Jesus never went on a four day bender.
D. It's Sunday?

Posted by: sandy burger at July 30, 2006 03:09 PM (zHO88)

36 Perhaps, Sandy, you should have wished for better mathematical skills...that was FOUR wishes you posted.

Posted by: cheshirecat at July 30, 2006 03:14 PM (1Lh9X)

37 Damn, you're right. Not worth the trip.

No nudity and not in English. yawn

Posted by: pajama momma at July 30, 2006 03:16 PM (42nqg)

38 Course I can handle nudity in other languages.

Posted by: pajama momma at July 30, 2006 03:16 PM (42nqg)

39 No way, cheshirecat. You only get to pick one out of four possible answers to the genie. There's no "all of the above" choice here. Cheater.

Posted by: sandy burger at July 30, 2006 03:24 PM (zHO88)

40 Dude, remember when Mel Gibson put out that movie about Jesus or whatever, and all the Jews were saying, "Dude, the dude's a total anti-Semite," and all you wingnuts were like, "Dude, the dude [Mel Gibson] is like so totally not anti-Semitic." Good times, man, good times.

Anyway, I should let Ace get back to writing his latest post about how people who oppose the Israeli collective punishment of the Lebanese because it's a war crime are anti-Semites. Because, after all, you guys are the authorities on who's an anti-Semite and who's not.

Posted by: surfer guy at July 30, 2006 04:09 PM (7xIbI)

41 surfer gay, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Posted by: Bart at July 30, 2006 04:21 PM (nKWrx)

42 Just when I think we get a fun new troll to replace Mike, he leaves =(

Unfortunately he has poor reading comprehension too, considering Ace has been gone as weekend, and has written barely anything on the Israel-Hezb'Allah conflict.

This one looked promissing too...he had flavor.

Posted by: BlameCandida at July 30, 2006 04:24 PM (huEVN)

43 Remember when you went down to New Orleans with the shotgun and all that shit?  Yeah, you were just a numbnuts then too, Spiccoli.

Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 04:26 PM (/QYGF)

44 Regarding the elephant in the living room:
1. Ace clearly underwent a melt-down.
2. His comments over at Wizbang were really ugly. He sounded unbalanced, wild-eyed crazy. He sounded like a Kos kid.
3. Repeatedly calling someone a cunt: awful.
Posted by Ed Snate at July 30, 2006 11:53 AM
If I understand the technology of “the internets” correctly, this was actually posted by Laura W. with “Ed Snate” serving as faux sockpuppet. But, I could be wrong, you know.

If so, it’s doubly appropriate that someone from the distaff side point out just how atrocious Ace’s use of the C-word was. Bad enough when applied to a woman, but to a guy!! (I trust this isn’t a sexist comment, I mean, gosh, don't we have to allow for some sexual differentiation in normal social intercourse?)

Anyway, I also conclude that Ace got out of Dodge over the weekend for sound mental health reasons. You don’t figuratively murder someone as badly as he did without taking some psychic damage yourself.

All of which brings be to the fabled “Ace of Spades lifestyle.” I enjoy this blog, very much – it’s kinda like a straight Beautiful Atrocities (at least the way it was before Jeff P. went dormant and started posting only social sh*t over at Agent Bedhead) -- but I don’t enjoy seeing it (and its proprietor) go off the tracks into a train wreck like this.

Ace, when you get back (full time) I respectfully suggest a return to just a bit more real politics and a lot more civility. The ultimate putdown is having yourself compared to one of the Kos Kids, even if you're man enough to allow it on your own blog.

Posted by: Redhand at July 30, 2006 06:21 PM (7G9b2)

45 Ace’s use of the C-word

He called someone a cracker? Cuz that's just ingnorant, classist and racist.

Oh. Wait. Michael says it's still OK to do that.

So what, exactly, is the big deal with the dread "C-word" then? I don't mean to be a dick by asking - and I guess I'm just an insensitive prick not to know the answer already - but at least I'm not too much of a pussy to admit I don't get it. Unlike some assholes. Care to put me some knowledge why that particular word is suddenly radioactive?

Posted by: VRWC Agent at July 30, 2006 07:50 PM (Z3AmO)

46 In case that was too subtle, I want to invite you - one infrequent commenter to another - to find someone else's tits to ride. We already went through this on other threads: Ace doesn't work for us. We tag along because he does what interests him and he's usually an interesting and entertaining guy to listen to when he does it. If he veers into something you don't like, or even disapprove of, pass it by. But don't make the mistake of thinking he does what he does just to please us and that telling him what to write is somehow the same as sending a request to the piano player.

It's one thing to point out that he's hopelessly wrong abut Rudy's political prospects (which he is), but it's another thing entirely to tell him he's writing on the wrong subject or writing about it in an impermissible way. See the difference?

The second rule of the AOSHQ blog is that we don't tell Ace what he needs to be saying on it. (The first rule, of course, is not to talk about the AOSHQ blog.) We're guests. He's our host. The fact that he is a generous, free-wheeling and utterly depraved lowlife psychotic does not change that.

Posted by: VRWC Agent at July 30, 2006 08:09 PM (Z3AmO)

47 Such slavish devotion, VRWC Agent. There are "rules" here? To suggest that our blog demigod is above feedback is bullshit. WTF is he, the Wizard of Oz? So I'll continue my infrequent comments here unless and until banned, thank you very much.

Posted by: Redhand at July 31, 2006 02:06 AM (7G9b2)

48 I regret this post, and wasn't even drunk at the time.

Posted by: lauraw at July 31, 2006 02:21 AM (wKh5O)

49 Whenever Ace takes a vacation, I pray for the hobos.

Posted by: Tushar D at July 31, 2006 02:21 AM (h76y6)

50 I am NOT lauraw's sockpuppet!

But I'd like to be, I think. Sounds like ... interesting ... work.

Posted by: Ed Snate at July 31, 2006 02:54 AM (SMsv7)

51 So, VRWC Agent doesn't know what's the "big deal about the use of the dread C-word."

Try this experimence, VRWC: every woman you encounter in the course of the day, call her a c*nt.

I guarantee, you'll find out what the big deal is.

Posted by: Ed Snate at July 31, 2006 02:59 AM (SMsv7)

52 The Night of the Long Knives pretty much established there are minimal rules of etiquette even here. And it really isn't devotion on my part, just a man crush when I picture Ace blogging in his pajamas.

Feedback? Sending back food at a restaurant is one thing. Sending it back when you're visiting someone else's home is another. Like I said, this was hashed out at some length in other threads.

I guess I was too subtle after all.

Knock yerself out, Sparky. I'm sure your coaching on how to run a blog will make you every bit as cherished and indispensible as you think you are. Really. I'm looking forward to the new and improved AOS just as soon as he finshes reading your post. Just don't mess with the pajama thing, OK?

Posted by: VRWC Agent at July 31, 2006 03:01 AM (Z3AmO)

53 every woman you encounter in the course of the day, call her a c*nt.

Missing the point, Ed? I probably won't win too many friends calling people by the "dread A-word" either - except there is no "dread A-word." Or dread B-word, other C-word, D-word, etc. Only the one word is supposed to make sailors blush and women go into labor. I don't see it.

Posted by: VRWC Agent at July 31, 2006 03:10 AM (Z3AmO)

54 VRWC:

How old are you?

Posted by: Ed Snate at July 31, 2006 03:24 AM (SMsv7)

55 I'm old enough to remember when "the dread C-word" was just another one of the words you didn't use in polite company but no more than that. Also old enough to remember life before people became so terrified of being the objects of manufactured outrage.

Is there a point to your question, Ed?

Posted by: VRWC Agent at July 31, 2006 04:26 AM (gjy1/)

56 Curious.

Posted by: Ed Snate at July 31, 2006 04:27 AM (SMsv7)

57 (I put this in the haiku thread because of the artistry.)

I'm beginning to doubt the shire reeve who wrote in his report anything other than "suspect was belligerent." Instead, the depitty wrote things like...
Mel Gibson then said I have a fat gut, even though I've been using the StairMaster for a week now. I even lost five pounds. I haven't had a bearclaw for three days. Then he flipped a hard booger through the scree that hit my right ear, causing a laceration three inches long. At 3:46am, Mel Gibson farted, and it sounded like "BbrrrpI hate all the Jewsrrrrpp. Pwing." Mel Gibson's fart smelled like shrimp cocktail. At 3:51am, Mel Gibson began to vomit in my patrol car. It had an Irish stew consistency with pieces of corn and bits of carrot that seemed to take the shape of a Nazi flag. Each time Mel Gibson vomited, he gurgled "Jews started all the wars." What cop ever quoted a perp like this? I think he was mad about the fat joke.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 31, 2006 04:38 AM (1Fcf5)

58 nah, it was good lauraw. no regrets.

we'll always have that weekend in Nueva Laredo.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 31, 2006 04:45 AM (pzen5)

59 csExcelent. Hey! Not do it You don’t figuratively murder someone as badly as he did without taking some psychic damage yourself. hardcore teen pics hardcore free erotic stories http://lexhardcore.peopleos.org/black-hardcore-fuck.html http://lexhardcore.peopleos.org/free-hardcore-sex-sites.html http://lexhardcore.peopleos.org/cartoon-hardcore-porn.html

Posted by: nickol at November 15, 2006 04:09 PM (SvC9X)

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