February 28, 2005

A Few Funny Little Bits
— Ace

Riehlworldview writes a funny High Noon parody involving Ted Rall as the dangerous -- or at least annoying -- villain:

"Draw, Mister," the boy confronted Rall, his two pure white little hands each clasping the butt end of a shiny new holstered toy revolver strapped tight to his leg. With reflexes as fast as death's breathe itself Rall reached, pulled out a scribble pad and a beaten up old pen. In a flash, Rall, The Artist had drawn two panels that no young man with a cap gun should have to face down. Bobbie just stood there seemingly mesmerized staring point blank into Rall's double barrel with talking balloons the likes of which he had never before seen.

"You draw people like a retard," said Bobbie, turning and running back to the safety of his Mother's waiting arms.

"Don't mind the boy," she said, looking up in Rall's direction. "Sometimes he's just a right too full of himself, Mister."

But Rall didn't mind - he knew he had talent. He knew it ever since the day when, as a young man he had gotten back a letter from the Draw This Deer Matchbook Company. Dear Mrs. Rall, read the letter. We are pleased to inform you that, YES, after careful review by our experienced panel we have determined that your son Theodore displays all the markings of a serious artistic talent. Kindly remit check or money order in the sum of $17.50 and we will promptly send out his drawing implements, free sketchpad, first customized lesson and special bonus eraser. After all these years, Rall still carried the letter with him, even though his Mama couldn't actually afford the send away course at the time.

A bit late, but... still funny. Scan down to "Over the Lips and Past the Gums" to read about John Kerry's first experience with this exotic lower-class beverage called "beer:"

"Ahh beer!" Kerry said in apparent recognition of the word. Yet his gaze remained warily fixated on the 12oz container, as if half-expecting it to suddenly throttle him.... "What does it do?

"It doesn't do anything," [Kerry's instructor] frowned briefly. He had to give it to the Senator, his questions were nuanced. "Well, actually it does. You see it..."

"Provides a source of cheap, low emission, renewable energy?" the presidential hopeful suggested eagerly.

The same weisenheimer decided to add some Howard Dean guest-vocals to the theme from Ultra-Man.

Why? I have no idea. But it's pretty silly.

Posted by: Ace at 10:27 AM | Comments (4)
Post contains 420 words, total size 3 kb.

1 "Ahh beer!" Kerry said ..." To quote himself: "ACE brings the funny of five mortal bloggers."

Posted by: 72VIRGINS at February 28, 2005 12:02 PM (dhRpo)

2 Yeah, well, Dan spends a lot a time creating his parodies. I think it's pretty damn good.

Posted by: Ron at February 28, 2005 05:43 PM (E2EmT)

3 "Ahh beer!" Kerry said in apparent recognition of the word asics.

Posted by: brandasics at March 02, 2011 08:32 AM (/ZHNh)

Posted by: Shoe covers the machine at May 24, 2011 02:14 AM (Q6I8C)

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