October 31, 2008

Nightmare Thread
— Ace

When I was a kid, my parents took me to a drive-in. (Yeah, I'm old enough that there were still a few drive-ins around when I was a kid -- but they were dying out, man! It wasn't like I was Kinicke in Grease taking dates to them!)

Anyway, we saw some movie. Forget which. Probably a Burt Reynolds movie. (Yes, I'm old enough that when I was a kid they were still letting Burt Reynolds make movies. But his box office was declining, man! Within years he'd be doing Stroker Ace.)

But the trailer that came before it scared the shit out of me.

I've been trying to find this for years and years. Tonight I thought it might be Fulci's The Beyond, but it wasn't.

I realized, after all these years, the title was Beyond the Door.

Now, yes, this is such a blatant Exorcist rip-off it's not funny. But then, I hadn't see the Exorcist when I was a kid so I didn't know that.

Still, it's a pretty creepy trailer. What on earth were my parents doing taking me to a theater showing trailers like this.

Anyone want to mention their worst nightmares?

I've got two. The first one is a recurring one I had all through childhood, particularly when I had a fever.

I would feel the cold hard rocky feel of macadam asphalt on the side of my face, like I was lying in a street. (Always felt that in this dream.) I would see myself, looking down on myself, as I lay in some very large recurring geometrical pattern made from featureless flat-black material. The "camera," if you will, would rise and rise, revealing the geometric pattern repeating and repeating, larger and larger, as I became smaller and smaller. Ultimately, of course, the pattern was revealed to be pretty much infinite.

Had that one twenty times.

The other one I remember is more of a "fun" nightmare. In my dream, I walked past the upstairs bathroom towards my bedroom. I look over at the shower, and think I hear something... scratching, breathing past the shower curtain.

I think nothing of it, of course, and lay down in bed.

The clock radio next to me tells me that there's an escaped lunatic at large.

At this point, I realize, "Hey, you know what, maybe that sound in the bathroom..." and I get up to lock my door.

But as I reach for the lock, the door bursts open, and an eight foot tall maniac wearing a lab coat and wielding it a meat-cleaver smashes my fucking head in two as he yells out "Scalllllpel!," rolling the l there in the middle.

And I know he wasn't holding a scalpel at all. I wish it had been a scalpel. What it was was a good eighty square inches of gleaming butcher-axe.

But that's what he said.

At any rate, and here's the cool thing about this nightmare, I was so startled and frightened that I half woke up and stumbled to the door, insensate, half-dreaming, half-awake, in a frantic attempt to lock the door. (Yes, I'd already been murdered, but it's a dream, you know.) I got about six steps before my legs, utterly uncoordinated due to the fact I was, you know, asleep, tripped up and I fell forward and cracked my head right on the jam of the door.

Producing an awful pain not entirely unlike that of a maniac burying a meat-cleaver in your corpus colossum as he screams out "Scalllllpel!" for unknown reasons.

Having had my bell rung nicely, I spent the next minute waking up and puzzling out precisely what had been real and what had been imagined.

But, honestly, I was right by the door I tried to get to in my dream, and my head hurt. So you can understand my confusion.

That was the scariest "scary" sort of nightmare I ever had. All the others... well, a constant parade of high school administrators telling me I don't have enough credits to graduate and will have to take gym for the next three years to make up for it.

"Now get up that rope, pussy!"

Less is More: Here's a longer trailer for Beyond the Door. Not scary. Laughable.

The expanded trailer reveals it's not just a ripoff of the Exorcist. It's a ripoff of Rosmary's Baby and The Omen, too.

Maybe this is why I've never thought the Exorcist was scary. I saw the trailer for this movie first. Later on I was like, "Oh, yeah, her head spins around like that woman's in that scary Italian movie."

Loose Shit: Right, it's StRoker Ace, and Six-Pack wasn't Burt Reynolds, it was Kenny Rogers, but you know it must have been written for Burt Reynolds. And for the first time in his his life, he turned down a move about race-car driving. Wisely.

Posted by: Ace at 10:18 PM | Comments (286)
Post contains 819 words, total size 5 kb.

1 In my nightmares, everything's like...tilted.

Posted by: apotheosis at October 31, 2008 10:21 PM (xWk3U)

2 Most of my bad nightmares are the ones where I get away with stealing a bunch of money and then wake up realizing that it was just a dream.  Same thing with winning the lottery.

Posted by: pirate of the perineum at October 31, 2008 10:26 PM (rKSJ1)

3 Ace you know damn well we played at the play ground under the big screen while our parents did it in the cars... at least our drive in had a playground...

Posted by: Kaptain Amerika at October 31, 2008 10:26 PM (4Qspj)

4 I'm living my nightmare... Democrats controlling all branches of government...

Posted by: Kaptain Amerika at October 31, 2008 10:28 PM (4Qspj)

5 I've had the geometrical-pattern-getting-bigger one - though I wasn't in it.  I was the camera, as it were, looking at, moving away from this thing as it extends on forever, and seeing this giant mess of patterns.  Not exactly a nightmare, though.  Just.  Strange.

Sort of like American politics.  Patterns in the chaos!  Chaos in the patterns!  And whatnot.

Posted by: amp at October 31, 2008 10:29 PM (h37S5)

6 Dude, I have had the same kind of geometric fever dream all of my life. It was really intense when I was younger.

Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at October 31, 2008 10:31 PM (i73Rf)

7 really?  This is interesting that other people had it.


Posted by: ace at October 31, 2008 10:31 PM (8T2pi)

8 The near-waking paralysis in which it is hard to breathe, impossible to move, and you need to just twitch your finger to wake up and make the unholy, quasi-demonic Madonna and Child stop mouthing words you cannot hear but somehow understand.

At age 4.

Yeah, good times.


Posted by: moronizer at October 31, 2008 10:33 PM (n++Yj)

9 that is without a doubt the most "intense" dream I've had.  And I've had it, as I said, twenty times.  Usually due to a fever.

Hm.

That's odd.  There's gotta be something structural in the brain causing that during fevers if two other people had it, one of them during a fever.


Posted by: ace at October 31, 2008 10:34 PM (8T2pi)

10

Ok if I lie on the couch Dr. O'Spades?

Thank you.

Tornadoes. I have constant terrifying tornado dreams. Sometimes it's one, and sometimes I'm surrounded by them. Lot's of different scenarios too. Sometimes I have shelter, other times not. The dreams always end right before I'm about to get hit by them. Probably a result of growing up in Oklahoma and having been in a couple of houses hit by them.

Also, the usual one that everyone has: It's the last day of school and final exams. But there's this one particular class I never attended for the entire year. The subject doesn't matter, but I'm running in a panic to get to this classroom and take the final, which I know nothing about, and can't find the classroom in the labyrinth of hallways. The setting always seems to be my middle school.

Thanks Dr O'Spades. Yes, I'm sure your receptionist will show me the way out and we'll schedule another session for next week.

Posted by: genghis at October 31, 2008 10:34 PM (HwY1l)

11 When I was a kid I used to have a nightmare where I was being chased by some kind of beast... I was terrified to go to sleep and would try to stay up as long as I could. Over and over again.

At some point, I trained myself to say, "It's just a dream! It's just a dream!" and I could wake up.

Later, I learned to fight back, and to enjoy it. Then the nightmares stopped.

I think that's a pretty sweet metaphor for much of life.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 10:36 PM (hawOV)

12

I've had SERIOUS nightmares.  I never woke up screaming, I woke up running.

I'm a child of divorced parents, I know thats nothing special, but my NIGHTMARE's, the ones that made me shoot awake in the middle of the night, to listen at my parents door, or to patrol the house consisted of absolutely no violence whatsoever.

In my dream, I was just a kid, doing what kids do, and somewhere in my simple dream, I would see something fall.

I felt I absolutely possitively had to keep that thing that was falling from hitting the ground, and I never could, and I would wake up in a run looking for some way to keep that fucker from falling.

You asked for a nightmare.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 10:36 PM (ul7te)

13 Well the first time I remember, I was about five. I had a fever and I remember someone saying that I had like a hundred and three temp; whatever. I thought that I fell asleep but it only seemed like a minute before this geometric scape was everywhere I looked. Like Amp said, there was a lot of movement. like a camera. I had the same dream everytime I had a fever until I was about 20.

Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at October 31, 2008 10:36 PM (i73Rf)

14 Or the murderous clown who tracks you down with the meat cleaver only to meet your gun head on.  Except when the bullet leaves the chamber, it's moving more slowly than the mood across the sky and it *PLOOP* drops to the floor when it hits himWAKEUPOHMYGOD!

Posted by: moronizer at October 31, 2008 10:36 PM (n++Yj)

15 Relatively nightmare free for years until that Stoker Ace mention.

I get shot at a lot in my dreams. My best friend has the same recurring theme. We're close but we never, you know, experimented so I don't know what the shared dream crap is about.

Posted by: sdkruiser at October 31, 2008 10:37 PM (KtmCv)

16 Or hawkgirl hacking into my spine with an ax (or cleaver)

No idea on that one

I've had the geometric thing, but it was invariably pleasant and invariably the result of a substance, and invariably occurred when I was awake.

Posted by: moronizer at October 31, 2008 10:39 PM (n++Yj)

17 What I learned as a kid served me well. Now when I dream (not that often) I can usually take control and steer them in fun ways. I wish I had more dreams.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 10:39 PM (hawOV)

18

Another Nightmare I have, is, after my mind cycles through all of the good things I've experienced in my life, my bean needs something to keep itself occupied as I sleep.

I dream of murder.  Not vengeful murder, but Cold and indifferent murder, where life means nothing.  Where there is only one punishment, and only I can dish it out.

Want more?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 10:40 PM (ul7te)

19 I used to get sick a lot when I was a kid.  If I had a bad fever, I would get up in the middle of the night while I was still asleep and running around the house.  Everything in the house seemed huge.  It was as if I saw everything from the perspective of a small insect.  Occasionally, I get those sleep paralysis attacks where I wake up and get this sense of panic.  I look around in the dark and I think something is creeping up on me.  I try my hardest to move and scream, but there's no movement and no sound.  The only parts of my body that I seem to be able to move are my eyes and my neck.

Posted by: pirate of the perineum at October 31, 2008 10:42 PM (rKSJ1)

20 Christoph,

Learning to attain consciousness while in a dream was fun, and I simply forced myself to learn it or I was never going to get a full night's sleep.  Now it's second nature if a dream's getting too intense.  All the bullets fly at proper speeds, kill the baddies, and i wake up if something's just too fucked.  Still don't sleep much, but no real nightmares.

Posted by: moronizer at October 31, 2008 10:43 PM (n++Yj)

21 I assume this is all fodder for the next flame war.

Posted by: pirate of the perineum at October 31, 2008 10:44 PM (rKSJ1)

22 My best nightmares all involve hordes of zombies.

Actually, my "best" nightmares involve compliant naked women in a capacity tangential to the scary parts of the dream.

Posted by: Daryl Herbert at October 31, 2008 10:44 PM (YvLui)

23 Speaking of which, I'm going to try to sleep now.

Happy Halloween, homos.

Posted by: moronizer at October 31, 2008 10:45 PM (n++Yj)

24 Noone controls their dreams.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 10:45 PM (ul7te)

25 It's a version of Narcolepsy is all I'm saying.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 10:45 PM (V1E6L)

26 I have had this dream that I leave a tower on a zipline and have a good hold on the handles. After a sec the line leads out over this insane canyon and the ground shoots away from me to like a thousand feet below. Well up ahead is the other tower and I feel like I am going to make it over there to the other side but then I usually start to dream about something else like motorcycles or whatever.

Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at October 31, 2008 10:46 PM (i73Rf)

27 Hey, look, I am extremely drunk, and if you want to take my fucking money, I'm waiting for you over at PokerStars, you fucking pussies!  Fuck you.

Posted by: gp at October 31, 2008 10:48 PM (gsxJU)

28 You can control your life, which might guide your dreams, but you can't control your dreams.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 10:49 PM (ul7te)

29 Exactly, moronizer@20! It's a great trip, isn't it?

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 10:49 PM (hawOV)

30 When I was a kid, my parents took me to a drive-in. (Yeah, I'm old enough that there were still a few drive-ins around when I was a kid -- but they were dying out, man! It wasn't like I was Kinicke in Grease taking dates to them!) My parents made me stand on my head in the back seat during the more intense scenes of Jaws at the drive in. I still scaled the counter tops, never to touch the ground in the kitchen on the weekends when mom and dad didn't get up to make breakfast because of it.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 10:51 PM (V1E6L)

31 Jeez, moronizer, you can get out of REM(rapid eye movement ) sleep to the stage of Beta or Theta, slow theta, to edit your dreams?
Novel that, as I have been doing sleep studies, and EEGs, for years and I know you never truly lose consciousness when sleeping. You do, however, move from one stage of it to another...
True, you go through certain stages, beta, theta, alpha (eyes closed) , sleep spindles, K complexes, slow wave sleep, REM if you're lucky, and a high SDI
(Sleep disturbance index ) if you're not...
But you're never, ever unconscious in the classic sense unless injured or drugged into that state, barring stroke, TIA or other illness or disease.

Maybe what you have is sleep state misperception, or oxygen deprivation psychosis, or another  sleep related problem like apnea, hypopnea or the like...
Ever get a sleep consult done?
Sounds like you're a prime candidate for one. It could literally save your life.

*steps down from his  professional soapbox*

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 10:52 PM (2rMGM)

32 I can lucid dream for about ten seconds before it causes me to wake up.

Sucks.

In one, some maniac chased me down an alley and was going to kill me until I dream-edited I was hiding in the dumpster behind him... with a shotgun.  Burst out of the dumpster, blew his head off.   Woke up.

Another great one I have is that I can fly -- this is so awesome it hurts -- or that I am, actually, in fact, Spiderman.  (Yes, really.)

These dreams, being awesome beyond all measure, last a few lousy minutes before my stupid moronbrain realizes there's no way my life could possibly be this good and rejects it as counterfeit.


Posted by: ace at October 31, 2008 10:53 PM (8T2pi)

33 sorry, life calling and all that...my bad.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 10:54 PM (2rMGM)

34 I'm not much younger than you ace, you ever been tucked under a seat to watch a movie at a drive in?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 10:54 PM (ul7te)

35 Bring it, losers.

Posted by: gp at October 31, 2008 10:54 PM (gsxJU)

36 I saw "Dressed to Kill" at a drive in, when I was like 5? or whatever?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 10:55 PM (ul7te)

37 lucid dreaming usually comes as you're transitioning from slow wave sleep to REM and the onset of sleep paralysis begins to kick in...incidentally the time most folks are supine (on their backs) and suffering the worst breathing of their night...apneas, hypopneas, central apneas, cheyne stokes breathing...lots of things that make the sensations in your bad dreams that much worse and more vivid.
I'll skip the seratonin, dopamine, acetylcholine chemistry thing...
I dig this stuff.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 10:58 PM (2rMGM)

38 hell, I saw "Jurassic Park" at a drive in. That was what, 15 years ago?

Posted by: phil at October 31, 2008 10:58 PM (fDO1N)

39

One of the things I love about the fight scenes in "The Warriors?"  Ball punches are common.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 10:58 PM (ul7te)

40 Later. Thanx Ace. Happy Halloween Morons.

Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at October 31, 2008 10:58 PM (i73Rf)

41 but you could just have a sleep study done, and maybe save your sleep, and your long term health. bad sleep can kill ya.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 10:59 PM (2rMGM)

42 Another great one I have is that I can fly -- this is so awesome it hurts ...

Yes, it is!

These dreams, being awesome beyond all measure, last a few lousy minutes before my stupid moronbrain realizes there's no way my life could possibly be this good and rejects it as counterfeit.

That is a letdown, but... if you didn't wake up then you wouldn't remember you had the dream at all.

Focus on the positivity a bit, Ace. I hit someone for being too much "Power of Positive Thinking" and not enough realism earlier. You need to take some steps the other direction.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 10:59 PM (hawOV)

43 Ace its a version of Narcolepsy, talk to your doctor, he will tell you.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 11:00 PM (V1E6L)

44 sorry...*climbing off of soapbox*
I'm a shitheel.
truly.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:00 PM (2rMGM)

45

And the Scarriest movie ever, is "When a Stranger Calls."  The original.  I don't care, disagree as you please, but watch YOUR scarriest movie ever, and sleep, then watch "When a Stranger Calls." the next day.

Lets see how you sleep.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:01 PM (ul7te)

46 So, Topsecretk9... what do you think it is?

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 11:01 PM (hawOV)

47 Wasn't Six Pack a Kenny Rogers flick?

Posted by: jaleach at October 31, 2008 11:01 PM (gHrZU)

48 Your fears are superficial.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:02 PM (ul7te)

49 Yeah Jaleach, the one about the pit crew?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:03 PM (ul7te)

50 Narcolepsy is best determined by an MSLT, multiple sleep latency test, done after a standard montage polysomnogram of at least 6 hours of sleep.
Naps and alternating waking periods. Looking for excessive daytime sleepiness, only good way to separate narcolepsy from just not sleeping well, like from drinking too darned much, morons.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:03 PM (2rMGM)

51 Yeah, WP. I'm thinking a young Diane Lane, too.

Posted by: jaleach at October 31, 2008 11:04 PM (gHrZU)

52 I'm now 38.  When do they stop being so vivid?

I still dream like a motherfucker.  I occasionally repeat old childhood nightmares, things are heavy, things are too tight, odd symmetry, yeah, symmetry, I'm unprepared for something or another, etc.  I have new dreams about random everyday shit like being pissed about something in the house.

Lucid dreaming causes me to wake up too.  At the same time, I often spend weekend mornings prolonging pleasant dreams.  I can get back into the story before the next alarm.

The main thing I've always had, and still get, is that my dreams seem to happen in the periphery of my vision.  I never feel like I'm looking directly at my dream.  That's what freaks me out about my nightmares.  It's always coming from the side.

Posted by: counter at October 31, 2008 11:05 PM (8/0ME)

53 Wicked I think Exorcist and/or Chainsaw are pretty scary and even Buffalo Bill in silence of the lambs is a little scarier.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 11:05 PM (V1E6L)

54 Six pack?
Guess I missed that classic.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:05 PM (2rMGM)

55 Within years he'd be doing Stoker Ace and Six-Pack

That's Stroker Ace.

Tighten that shit up, or Sean Connery will come down on you like, well I forget how the rest goes, but your mother is a whore.

Posted by: krakatoa at October 31, 2008 11:05 PM (7J6Hw)

56 I had a recurring dream of being blown off a bridge in a storm and landing flat on my back in the shallow river below. While lying there I would  hear barking dogs getting closer and closer, coming to eat me. Sometimes I woke up before they attacked, sometimes not. One time there was a hero dog who chased all the other dogs away and I never had that dream again.



Posted by: jamrat at October 31, 2008 11:06 PM (ZOxD0)

57 My Halloween disguise is Angry Drunk.  Give me some fucking candy, or come to PokerStars and give me your fucking money, you fucking donkeys.

Posted by: gp at October 31, 2008 11:07 PM (gsxJU)

58 @johnjacobjingleheimersmith 50, I disagree. Narcolepsy is best diagnosed on a blog by a commenter.

Oh, sorry, I was thinking of nympholepsy. Although Ace's symptoms sound surprisingly like that.

h/t Firefox's thesaurus

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 11:07 PM (hawOV)

59 alot of what happens with your sleep revolves around your diet, if you can believe it or not.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:07 PM (2rMGM)

60 Actually, I'm not commenting on narcolepsy, I work in EEG and Sleep Studies, and yes, the medical gold standard for narcolepsy is an MSLT and a look see by a trained neurologist or Sleep Medicine Doctor. I deal with the stuff five days a week.
But thanks for the commenting on a blog bull, just the same. I went to school for this after the service.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:10 PM (2rMGM)

61

Also, the usual one that everyone has: It's the last day of school and final exams. But there's this one particular class I never attended for the entire year...

Aahaha. I have that one. My other recurring ones: the one where my teeth fall out, the one where I'm being chased by a psycho killer and I try to scream, but nothing comes out, and the one where I'm covered with ticks. Yeah, I'm boring.

Posted by: TiredWench at October 31, 2008 11:10 PM (Kx1hM)

62

My dreams are so vivid, that when I wake up almost always apologizing.

Then I take a few minutes to take a basic assessment of my surroundings to make sure that my dreams were just dreams.

Whenever I rack at my bro's place, I have only two options.

One is to actually get out of bed, and stay quiet until my brother says something that tells me whether my memories/dreams were true or false.  Or I stay in bed till my bro gets pissed.

I generaly chose option two, cuz I get to play with his puppies/puppy who like/likes strangers.

It's freaky, I really don't like it.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:11 PM (ul7te)

63 I'm just razzing on Topsecretk9; I think she could well be right. And she did recommend Ace talk to his doctor, which is good advice.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 11:12 PM (hawOV)

64

While awake, I have the most irrational of fears.

Really, all my fears are irrational, the rational ones, I handle like it's nothing, in fact they invigorate me.

Climbing a rock?  EXCITING!!!!  Driving over an overpass?  Scared shitless.

The things that fuck me up in my dreams?  are all alegories of life, and I can describe all of them, but I won't.  Not to you, Not to my Bro, Not to my Mom, or Dad.

Ain't found anyone yet I can explain those fears to.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:14 PM (ul7te)

65 Christoph, let's be cool for a minute.  This is part of why I bust on you all the time.

Maybe it's a translation issue, who knows, but honestly,  you do realize you're being a bit passive/aggressive with the host here.  Right?

Posted by: counter at October 31, 2008 11:15 PM (8/0ME)

66 I can't relate to any of the normal nightmares, cuz you guys are pussies affraid of easy shit.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:15 PM (ul7te)

67 I just come here a few nights a week to see that I'm not the only raving conservative
left in America, since the healthcare scene at my work  is full of foaming at the mouth leftards and socialized medicine idjits.
 I find you morons refreshingly sarcastic, profane, sometimes ill informed but always entertaining.

Since I am an anachronism at work, I enjoy reading this blog.
Let's my sorry ass think I'm not quite by myself in all this.
But I could be wrong.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:16 PM (2rMGM)

68 Wicked just fucking shoots the bastards in his dreams.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 11:16 PM (V1E6L)

69

Top?

Really?

I pour my psyche out into this thread, and you minimize me like that?

Thats fucked up.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:18 PM (ul7te)

70 WP you never met my second wife...a nightmare with big tits and red hair.
Scary. But with ...skills.
Skills.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:18 PM (2rMGM)

71 I never had nightmares per se.

I mean, I had dreams I hated -- the ones you are being chased, the falling ones. But they were more just frustrating than scary. I realized I was dreaming and was bored to tears with that dream again.

The only one of those worth mentioning was one time dreaming I was falling, and then when I hit the ground, I literally hit the ground. I had rolled off the top bunk and landed flat on my back. My brother woke up and laughed his ass off at me, and within 10 seconds, my mom was at the door. Hell of a mother, with hearing and the response time of a superhero.

I learned how to do lucid dreaming, desperate to be able to break away from those monotonous programs. After that I was able to "change channels" as it were, anytime I started in on the same old shit. That's when my dreams started at least getting interesting.

Interesting, and I suppose I then had dreams that should have been scary. But they were so ludicrous that I usually woke up laughing. Like the one about the "scary" old sea captain on the wharf by Lake Michigan telling me about a sea monster, upon which the water starts boiling, and the grizzled peg-leg gets swallowed whole by a pink hippo.

Or the one where a crazed maniac is after me and another friend. We get separated and I'm hiding in a house by the door. It creaks open dramatically, my buddy lurches in through the door with a melted face, one eyeball hanging on his cheek in a mass of putrescent goo, he opens his mug in a hacked up leer and says "Hello, Ricky!".

My name isn't Ricky.

Now the sex dreams -- droogs, you learn lucid dreaming, and you'll never want to wake up.

Posted by: krakatoa at October 31, 2008 11:18 PM (7J6Hw)

72 My parents made me stand on my head in the back seat during the more intense scenes of Jaws at the drive in. I still scaled the counter tops, never to touch the ground in the kitchen That's just stupid. Everyone knows that the kitchen floor is red-hot molten lava, and who ever heard of a shark that lives in lava? (It's the living room carpet where you've gotta watch out for sharks, but fortunately sofa cushions are shark-proof as well as lava-proof.)

Posted by: Throbert McGee at October 31, 2008 11:19 PM (NwOTJ)

73 Time for the roller boys.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:20 PM (ul7te)

74 OH wp come on. I did NOT minimize you.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 11:21 PM (V1E6L)

75

counter,

"passive/aggressive"


passive?

When the fuck do I limit myself to "passive" aggression?

Anyway, it was a joke. I had to think of something to say. At first I thought that nympholepsy was going to mean being a nymphomaniac, and then I had to improv.

Tonight I've tried to help Ace solve his smoking problem and add years of healthy life living with his wife and family not to mention feeling a lot better about himself each day every day, learn a new way to adopt beliefs to improve his family's finances, and conquer his fears, and so forth.

For which, his commenters shit on me.

Fine. That doesn't surprise me. And Ace didn't, which I appreciate.

However, if I put myself out there at the risk of mockery if not criticism in an effort to assist Ace on these pretty damn important issues, some of which he says he's struggling with, then I think you may safely assume I don't hate the guy and I hope you can forgive me for a joke. Now that I've explained it.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 11:23 PM (hawOV)

76

I wouldn't say "never want to wake up." but maybe, "have a serious problem TRYING to wake up."

I like life, even though mine sucks.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:23 PM (ul7te)

77 I'm relatively certain that WP's nightmares pretty much consist of bitches breaking him.

Posted by: krakatoa at October 31, 2008 11:24 PM (7J6Hw)

78 #44: *climbing off of soapbox* Speaking of soapboxes, how in hell did the thread get to over 70 comments without anyone making a Behind the Green Door joke? Apparently this blog is 99 and 44/100% pure homo.

Posted by: Marilyn Chambers at October 31, 2008 11:25 PM (NwOTJ)

79

Well, Top,

I poured a lot of psyche into this thread.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:25 PM (ul7te)

80

I almost never remember my dreams; only two come to mind-

When I was a kid, I had a nightmare that reoccured only when I had a fever.  It was mostly indescribable, but it involved a large force comprised of TV static that slowly grew and threatened to destroy the world.  It varied, but I do remember that I was supposed to blow it up with dynamite.  Daphne from Scooby Doo might have been involved too.  Doing so would also kill me, but it ended up failing for some reason and the dream would end just as the evil entity was about to destroy everything.  I'd wake from that one covered in sweat, not knowing what the fuck was going on.

The other recent one involves shooting someone to death for some stupid reason, and having to panic over the consequences because I knew I'd be caught, and also not understanding why I killed the person.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at October 31, 2008 11:27 PM (gHv/5)

81

Krak?

I'm offended, no really I am.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:29 PM (ul7te)

82

"I pour my psyche out into this thread, and you minimize me like that?"

"Thats fucked up."

Wickedpinto@69, that's always a risk certainty when you pour your soul out on this blog. Or most for that matter.

I'm secure enough in myself that I really don't worry about criticism. I agree with Denis Prager said here about being loved. 4 awesome minutes you won't regret. And it touches on the current political situation. Even on parenting.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 11:29 PM (hawOV)

83 Posted by: Marilyn Chambers at November 01, 2008 04:25 AM (NwOTJ)

Is that the young, Behind the Green Door Marilyn Chambers, or the old, used up 1999 Still Insatiable Marilyn?

Because I would kill for the '72 version.

Posted by: krakatoa at October 31, 2008 11:29 PM (7J6Hw)

84 Marilyn, I thought about the green doors flick but well, just never got my head around a good one liner from it. Never found MC very attractive either.

Shoot me. But nice misappropriation of a slogan for your own ends. 99 and 44/100ths ? I forgot that stuff.
 Getting old, suppose.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:29 PM (2rMGM)

85 WP whateve. You pour your psyche out all the fricken time. You need a "this times for reals" declaimer I guess.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 11:30 PM (V1E6L)

86 Christoph, cool, let's keep being chill here.

In a public forum, you could know all sorts of things about all sorts of things.  True or not.  Who knows?

The thing is, you never actually have to repeat any of it.  You hear what I'm saying?

If you want to hint around the edges, I was in that thread.  I admitted wacky epileptic symptoms.  Why bust my balls for mentioning it?

Posted by: counter at October 31, 2008 11:32 PM (8/0ME)

87 maybe just needs some , maybe , um. sleep?
possibly?
Just speculating.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:32 PM (2rMGM)

88 epileptic? as in how ?

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:33 PM (2rMGM)

89 Good point, counter. I forget Ace had deep sixed the post. Anyway, the main thing I hope he does is buy the book on quitting smoking I recommended because I know that's dynamite.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 11:34 PM (hawOV)

90

Yeah, the "I Break Bitches" thing is the only thing that is who I am, every thing else, no matter the sentences, no matter the paragraphs, no matter the distinct descriptions, fuck that.

"I Break Bitches" is the only truth.

Should have saved this for the hostages, as least they aren't arrogant.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:34 PM (ul7te)

91 >>>Actually, I'm not commenting on narcolepsy, I work in EEG and Sleep Studies, and yes, the medical gold standard for narcolepsy is an MSLT and a look see by a trained neurologist or Sleep Medicine Doctor. I deal with the stuff five days a week.
But thanks for the commenting on a blog bull, just the same. I went to school for this after the service.

How do I get my hands on a black-market sleep apnea dealio?


Posted by: ace at October 31, 2008 11:35 PM (8T2pi)

92 @ john jacob: diet? it doesn't really surprise me, but it does. i wanna hear more...any links?

i've had recurring weird dreams as a child but never nightmares--recurring that is. i had a waking nightmare that lasted over a year back in '04, but the last sleeping one i had was when my son (now 5.5) was a few weeks old. i was sleeping on my side and dreamt he was crawling behind me and then up over my back and hip and then when perched on my side it became a mountain and he was falling. but i woke up screaming before he landed. i've had other nightmares (non recurring) but that's the only one i remember. i know it's supposed to be a *recurring* one we talk about, but given this one happened over five years ago and i still remember it vividly, thought it might count for something.

by the way, ace, that drive-in thing sounds awesome. why'd they get rid of them?

Posted by: fireweed at October 31, 2008 11:37 PM (uUo56)

93 you know, a cpap.  For like a grand or less.

I'm willing to go with a discount mexican version with a, say, 15% chance of death.

No higher than that.


Posted by: ace at October 31, 2008 11:38 PM (8T2pi)

94 "epileptic? as in how ?"

Occasionally I have a bit of dream while awake.  Come back and feel stressed about it.

Can be fugue type thing sometimes.  Othertimes, more just a locked in pattern.

Posted by: counter at October 31, 2008 11:38 PM (8/0ME)

95 That dealio is called a CPAP machine, constant positive airway pressure which keeps your airway open, for most folks with breathing trouble, and keeps your O2
starved brain from waking up several hundred times a night in really bad cases, telling you to BREATH,dammit!

There are alot of types but I haven't ever gotten one 'black market' for someone, just to be honest.

For a smoker, you can magnify all the things I wrote regarding breathing and toss in some higher BP and peripheral vascular trouble as well.

Just a ray of sunshine, aren't I?

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:42 PM (2rMGM)

96 Wp No, that's not true. I OBVIOUSLY read what you write and the soul you "reveal" and what makes me mad is you know it. ------ How do I get my hands on a black-market sleep apnea dealio? ACK. ACE is Andrew afflicted?

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 11:42 PM (V1E6L)

97 Dude, WP, sorry you were offended by what I remember being the sort of joke you enjoyed, way back in your early days visiting AoSHq.

Unfortunately, I really don't keep up with what the various regulars, or irregulars, currently find offensive.

I'll make a note not to mention bitches or breaking in any contextual situation involving you if that's your new bete noir. No skin off my back. But seriously? Lighten up Wendy. It's a Friday night on a relatively light comment thread.

What the hell sort of stuff do you expect from the morons?

Posted by: krakatoa at October 31, 2008 11:42 PM (7J6Hw)

98 a real one runs like five grand, right?

Posted by: ace at October 31, 2008 11:44 PM (8T2pi)

99

pseudofed, dude.

Sleep apnea is chronic, you probably just have shitty sinus'.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:44 PM (ul7te)

100 links...AASM...American Academy of Sleep Medicine..
BRPT Board of Registered Polysomnographic Technologists

Look up link of amino acids and dreaming, things about diet and the stress factorsd on your parasympathetic nervous system, look up sleep deprivation on any thing like SleepMD, or any of the major health sites and start winnowing down what you think applies to your case.
It varies by every person you treat, i find.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:45 PM (2rMGM)

101 or maybe not.  Can I get one for like 500 bucks?

Posted by: ace at October 31, 2008 11:46 PM (8T2pi)

102 I get what you mean krak, but my early comments were very heartfelt, sorry for going overboard, same to you top.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:47 PM (ul7te)

103 you probably just have shitty sinus'. that's funny.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 11:47 PM (V1E6L)

104 Sleep apnea can usually be treated, and crappy sinuses can be a problem, and might contribute to a feeling of being smothered, I would think. Sure to make for crappy dreams.
You have to know that alcohol is a CNS suppressant and makes trouble with your brain/sleep worse. Also changes your brain chemistry a lot.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:47 PM (2rMGM)

105 I keep having this nightmare where I'm sleeping in my dumpster and suddenly the top is flung open and there's this bearded lawn gnome with a bottle of Val-U-Rite in one hand and a meat hook in the other and he's foaming at the mouth and yelling something about Mr Buttons needing more lasagna. Most times, that's when I wake up in a cold sweat in my freshly soiled pants.

Posted by: Beleaguered Hobo at October 31, 2008 11:48 PM (Sxdcg)

106

Ace?

Can you breath through your nose?

When you Wake up can you breathe through your nose?

Most of the time it's not a fucking condition, it's just shitty sinus'.

Trust me on that shit.  EVERYONE I know with "apnea" is a smoker, or a drinker, or both.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:49 PM (ul7te)

107 A good CPAP is around 600-800 $$$
BiPaP is $1000  more or less

ASV, autoservo bipap...1250 and up.

Biggest thing is regulating your pressure and getting the nose or mask fit right.
Hard to do on your own.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:50 PM (2rMGM)

108 "EVERYONE I know with "apnea" is a smoker, or a drinker, or both."

Or fat.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 11:50 PM (hawOV)

109 wp, I'm talking to a sleep expert, why would I listen to you about shitty sinuses?

girlfriends tell me I wake up because I stop breathing during sleep.  And of course I'm forever dog-tired. 

I want the cpap.


Posted by: ace at October 31, 2008 11:51 PM (8T2pi)

110 Or me, non smoker, with a short neck, a running back body of 200+ pounds without being fat and a tendency to sleep on my back. Classic case, huh WP?

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:51 PM (2rMGM)

111 No harm, no foul, WP.

Looks like all the good nightmare stuff is over. Time for me to go to sleep, perchance to dream of a run-in with a '72 Marilyn Chambers. Yeah. And maybe throw in a nice '87 Nina Hartley.

That is the stuff.

Bunk.

Posted by: krakatoa at October 31, 2008 11:52 PM (7J6Hw)

112

that's funny.

Why's it funny?

I can't breath through my schnoz, or my throat when I wake up many mornings, cuz I smoke and drink as much as I do.

I end up waking up every hour or so, cuz my sinus close up, and as I try to breath, I end up inhaling snot, and I wake up coughing, and gaging and chocking.

Apnea is a SYMPTOM most of the time.

MOST of the time.

Although Ace with his brain dysfunction, might have . . .well, another brain dysfunction, but he might also just have shitty sinus'.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:52 PM (ul7te)

113 hmm... maybe I'll make an appointment with a sleep guy.  I guess they'd want me to sleep over and stuff? 


Posted by: ace at October 31, 2008 11:53 PM (8T2pi)

114 I netted positive USD tonight from all you cocksuckers!  Justice was done, and done right.  Fuck you all, and all the horses you rode, dickheads.  This is Angry Drunk, signing off for tonight.  Cocksuckers.

Posted by: gp at October 31, 2008 11:54 PM (gsxJU)

115 Yep, Ace, they probably do. I used to know a woman who worked in the field as a nurse. She felt they were really able to help some people and I'm sure she's right.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 11:55 PM (hawOV)

116 Is that the young, "Behind the Green Door" Marilyn Chambers, or the old, used up 1999 "Still Insatiable" Marilyn? Er, well... okay, you got me, I'm not the REAL Marilyn Chambers. But I was born in 1954, just like she was, and my vagina is only 18 years old, just like hers was when she did "Behind the Green Door" -- is that good enough for you?

Posted by: Marilyn Chambers n Marvin Chumburgowicz at October 31, 2008 11:57 PM (NwOTJ)

117 For some reason I thought you were married with kids. But it's a girlfriend. That's cool.

I don't think apnea is itself limited to those conditions WP and I mentioned, but they all increase the risk. Especially being overweight. Plenty of people ditch their apnea when they shed pounds.

Posted by: Christoph at October 31, 2008 11:57 PM (hawOV)

118 Ace, you need a classic sleep study. Polysomnogram. Not cheap  but most insurance covers the majority and it beats left sided heart weakness, a stroke or the other fun caramel filled treats that come with chronic sleep cycle disturbance.

Sleep disturbance is cumulative, like back injury, as it involves your brain, and neurons which cna recover but seldom regrow, with the exception of some small clusters in the deep brain. You let it go, and it usually gets worse.
You overweight at all?
Diabetic?
Using  any consistent painkillers, legal or not?
History of neurological disease in your family?
Your pop or mom snore?
Do you?
Is your neck short?
ever get  almost too sleepy to drive?
Ever nod off typing for us morons?
Enquiring minds want to know.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at October 31, 2008 11:58 PM (2rMGM)

119 girlfriends tell me I wake up because I stop breathing during sleep. And of course I'm forever dog-tired. Apnea. Please do not go all Andrew on it though, please.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 31, 2008 11:59 PM (V1E6L)

120

Sinus's is a major CAUSE of apnea.

However, I forgot that you were epileptic.

so you might have a brain condition.  Like my buddies dad, who had a brain tumor, and it wasn't diagnosed until he TOO he started to wake up gasping, and then not be able to sleep cuz he had hiccups.

I wasn't being arrogant you FUCKS!

I just forgot Ace had a brain condition, actually two.   JESUS CHRIST!

And if you are a nose breather, and you drain at night, when you are warm, you experience "apnea" Cuz you CAN't Breath, and then you stop breathing, and then your brain freaks the fuck out!!!

JESUS!!!!

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 11:59 PM (ul7te)

121 Before you completely diss WP's most definitely intended to be helpful suggestion, google sinus apnea.

You'll see they are definitely related if only aggravating each other. The second link down is a sinus and apnea treatment center!

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:01 AM (hawOV)

122 I guess they'd want me to sleep over and stuff? Yes. My brother did and he said if changed his life, actually. In all aspects.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at November 01, 2008 12:01 AM (V1E6L)

123 Nurses know IVs and catheters not sleep.
You would probably need a sleep over case but there are at home units being tested and the results are mixed. depends as to how serious you are and how well you comply with your treatment. I have had folks hug me after stuff and I am not a warm hugs kind of dude.
Most everything can be treated to one degree or another but John Wayne on this could buy you a big fat stroke. Or worse. Read up on the stuff.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:01 AM (2rMGM)

124

After I read A Wrinkle in Time, I had a recurrent dream about being in a two-dimensional world where my lungs wouldn't function, so I smothered.  Great scene.  Thanks Madeleine L'Engle, great scene to put into a children's book.

 

Posted by: dustydog at November 01, 2008 12:04 AM (w0NJA)

125

THATS ALL I MEANT CHRISTOPH!!!

One of my friends, one of my BEST friends, while I was still in, his father died from a brain tumor (pay atention ace)

His dad started to have seizure's, and then his dad started to hiccup, and his father would wake up in a panic cuz he couldn't breath.

Once it was understood that his dad had an inoperable tumor, my buddy, moved in with his dad, and would stay up all night, rubing his fathers chest, to help with air flow.

I'm not talking out of my ass, or at least not completely.

I can't imagine what it was like being my friend.

Well actually I can, but not day in and day out.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:04 AM (ul7te)

126 Topsecretk9, fuck off. WP was giving a one-sided, but helpful suggestion. It very likely is a factor.

You were also giving your pet theory (that I think has merit) and no one here in the wee hours is a bloody doctor, nor have we examined Ace. Yes there's one person here who has expertise in a sleep field and that's fantastic... but I bet you that person wouldn't say sinus is unrelated to sleep problems.

You've said Ace should see his doctor, the sleep guy thinks Ace should have work done on him, and I don't disagree with any of that. But what Wickedpinto's saying also makes sense.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:05 AM (hawOV)

127 re: those masks, I guess people get used to them; but I never could see how you could fall asleep with the masks on. (worked in RT)

Posted by: d at November 01, 2008 12:05 AM (++2xr)

128 WP no one wigged at you, at all. RELAX!

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at November 01, 2008 12:05 AM (V1E6L)

129 regarding apnea, sometimes it's full blown apnea, sometimes its what is called hypopnea, or low blood oxygen. It can be disordered breathing too. Or you could have classic restless legs, or bruxism: grinding your teeth...lots of things can keep you from sleeping and irritate the brain, making dreams more difficult as they usually come wlong with REM cycle sleeping.

AASM and BRPT are two excellent sites to start with. Find a BOARD certified Sleep DOctor or Pulmonologist in your area, then make an appointment.

But that's just the thoughts of a moron...

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:06 AM (2rMGM)

130 I wake up in an alley with the cliched phrase of; "Where am I?" Followed immediately by, "Where are my clothes? Is this my blood? Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Omygod! What am I going to do with all these bodies! Ohmygod,ohmygod,ohmygod."

You know, kind of like how I'd feel if I wake up Nov 5  and Obama's won.

Posted by: spice at November 01, 2008 12:08 AM (c14cm)

131

I was just saying that Ace, a guy who MUST be well informed of his medical situation because of shit that is up to him to explain, is likely well informed about his medical situation.

If he is suffering sleep apnea, maybe he should make sure his sinuses are clear.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:10 AM (ul7te)

132 That rubbing the chest WP referenced is part of pulmonary/respiratory percussion and it works by breaking loose mucus and phlegm in some cases. But that's alot to ask of someone for eight hours a night for the rest of your life. Just saying. And apnea and the masks can be drag but they have nasal units that have no mask but a set of nasal cannulas that just go into your nose, there are alot of options if you're serious about this.
I can get more exact references from the AASm if you wait a minute.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:10 AM (2rMGM)

133

Actually thanks to christoph I seemed like I Wigged out, but I was pissed.

Thanks Christoph.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:11 AM (ul7te)

134 Christoph Um, WP and I might joust, but Wicked KNOWs I have his back and in no way slighting him. So just back off, I don't even get your new spangled protective of this blog Are you the sherif?

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at November 01, 2008 12:11 AM (V1E6L)

135

I learned that with my aunt who was clotting after her open heart, John.

She would pass out randomly, and I would have to basicaly, squeeze her from the spine to the sternum, to give her enough energy to be away.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:12 AM (ul7te)

136 Anyway, if I may change the topic for a second, another commenter on a different thread linked to this blog, which has radio audio allegedly of leaked GOP last minute internal state by state polling showing Reps within a point of Obama in California, leading in both New Jersey (!) and Michigan, and positively blowing Obama out of the water in Pennsylvania.

I left a comment on that thread you can see if you want to see my position on it.

I listened to it. I thought I'd bring it to your attention.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:13 AM (hawOV)

137  @ 132, WP's friend did CPT or was it more of a sternum rub to stimulate breathing? *looking back over posts to catch up*

Posted by: d at November 01, 2008 12:13 AM (++2xr)

138

Tops right on that Christoph.

Top might be a . . . .jerk, but Top and I get along, They know I'm not retarded.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:14 AM (ul7te)

139 I'm glad you and WP are friendly, k9. It appeared to me you were dissing his point. I didn't care about that overly much, but I don't want Ace to overlook something helpful because of your biases.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:14 AM (hawOV)

140 sleepeducation.com sleepcenters.org
americaninsomniaassociation.org
brpt.org narcolepsynetwork.org
need more? I can aim you if you want.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:14 AM (2rMGM)

141 Wicked read the old thread. I'm done for tonight, but I just didn't get the memo Christoph was the new sheriff of OSHQ. My spidey senses say embed moby,

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at November 01, 2008 12:14 AM (V1E6L)

142 WP that was atrial fibrillation with acute clotting factors,right?
you aunt?

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:16 AM (2rMGM)

143 On second thought, you can't see my position on the alleged leaked internal polling because it's awaiting moderation so here it is:

These alleged internal polls are crap.

But if they’re not crap, whoopee!


Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:16 AM (hawOV)

144

I don't know D.

His dad would have these constant hiccup attacks, and when they came in, my friend had to muscle in to his fathers chest, so he could breath.

I understand, from the same friend, that Hiccups, are actually an involuntary reation of the brain trying to catch air, which I can relate to, based on the times I sucked water, but, I wasn't this far away from dying.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:16 AM (ul7te)

145 "My spidey senses say embed moby"

You are dense.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:18 AM (hawOV)

146

No clue Johny.  we were just told that she might have strange reactions, and it's important to always rumber her back, and the area around her tits.

I felt very wierd doing it, but, THATS MY FUCKING AUNT! so I did it, cuz the doc's said I shoud.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:19 AM (ul7te)

147 WP, if you're referring to my sinuses...they're just ducky,thanks.
But I do throw excessive sleep spindles and I do have sleep disordered breathing and I live with it. And I'm 46 and very healthy, thanks again. Not a sinus problem usually. Wrong. Very wrong.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:19 AM (2rMGM)

148 I advise we not elevate johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson to the subject of God and let Ace pursue different paths to see what helps.

There's the old hammer/nail theory which could be at work.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:21 AM (hawOV)

149 *status of God, I meant to say

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:22 AM (hawOV)

150 Poor Topk9, she's dealing with Dudley Doright and a crazy person.

Posted by: Bart at November 01, 2008 12:22 AM (5DHMR)

151
Wow, either way, staying up like that, keeping watch, so his dad could breathe. Darn you for gettin me choked up.

Posted by: d at November 01, 2008 12:23 AM (++2xr)

152 And no, sinuses aren't usually the problem with apneic breathing. Your airway collapses in the absence of positive pressure, your breathing pathway occludes, you stop breathing and VOILA you are holding your frigging breath, on and off , all night, every minute you sleep, the rest of your life. That'll kill you.

If it was sinuses alone I WOULD BE UNEMPLOYED and breath right strips would be kicking my ass. But its not because they don't work, and you my friend, not working in the field clearly don't know what the hell  you are talking about and should let it go.
Thanks.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:24 AM (2rMGM)

153 Hey, christoph, I didn't go after you, I'm not playing God, I just know what I do
every day and if that bothers you, go piss up a rope. How's that?

Ace asked some questions and I answered. If he wanted answers to stupid questions about hockey, Pam Anderson's plastic tits or Wayne Gretzky, I'd leave that to your tender mercies.

Okay,eh?

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:27 AM (2rMGM)

154 Did I say it would sinuses alone?

It could be sinuses instead of apnea. Or they could both exist in the patient at the same time. Or it could just be apnea. Or something else.

I think you may well be a hammer/nail kind of thinker. Anyway. I'm glad you know your subject.

New Topic: "For the Security and/or Energy Minded AoSHQ Reader, Northern Canadian Pipelines Have Been Hit by Explosions Resulting from Terrorist Action of Some Type or Other 3 Times this Month... This Is in the Same Region Alaska's Proposed Pipeline Would Have to Pass Through"

I'd say this is definitely a national security and energy policy issue for both our countries.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:29 AM (hawOV)

155 *going back to bed*
nite

Posted by: d at November 01, 2008 12:30 AM (++2xr)

156 Any takers?

I don't usually chime in with the snarctastic sarcasm like you folks do, so get the hell off of me for just answering a question or two from Ace.

Otherwise, bite my ass and scratch me off your frigging Christmas List.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:30 AM (2rMGM)

157

John?

It's not my place to say, but I will anyways, so that you have more info before shitting on people.

Ace has at least one brain ailment.

Not a major one, but, well, it's a fucking brain ailment.

I on'y mention it cuz he mainpaged it a year or so ago, so I don't think I'm breaking the rules much.

His OTHER ailment might, MIGHT be exaccerbated by something that is also associated with apnea, like, SINUSES!?!

BTW, did you notice he used the word "Apnea" rather than, "I am sleeping for shit?"

What sort of troubleshooter are you?

I don't care if you have an engineering degree, you are an idiot.

Okay, now that I got even with your bullshit attacks on us.

ACE!

my bet, is that you should take sudafed.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:30 AM (ul7te)

158 Bart: yes she is, but which is which? John: don't bother with Christoph. He gets threatened when someone knows something he doesn't.

Posted by: Swegin at November 01, 2008 12:31 AM (q0Z3p)

159 and again, your sinuses might make it worse, but barring serious respiratory trouble sinuses are a pain in the ass, to coin a phrase, but not the problem.

You bake a loaf of bread you're not a baker, you snore doesn't mean you have the slightest idea of what goes on with you when you asleep.

Now is that a hard thing to acknowledge.?
Tell me what you do for a living, and if I don't know shit all about it I'll listen to you, Since I might assume you knew what you were talking about, and not assume that commenting on a blog made me an expert in your field, whatever that might be.

And no, I really don't give a rat's ass what you actually do.


Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:36 AM (2rMGM)

160 "I just know what I do
every day and if that bothers you, go piss up a rope."

Appeal to expertise arguments don't wash with me. I respect your expertise... but it's just that, specialized. There is more than one possibility and many people have sleep difficulties as a result of sinus problems. You'd be a fool not to know that.

Besides, you haven't even examined the patient. I'm glad you offered your opinion. You might be right. If I was a betting person, I'd say there's a very good chance of it precisely because of your experience. But I don't believe that you have all the experiences nor all the answers.

Hammer/nail.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:36 AM (hawOV)

161 Wickedpinto, I thought your comment #157 was very well reasoned. Especially your question: "What sort of troubleshooter are you?"

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:38 AM (hawOV)

162

Notice Ace Vanished when this became a topic?

I wager it's not time.

How about we stop diagnosing Ace, he's a big boy, and he can take care of himself.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:39 AM (ul7te)

163 "Notice Ace Vanished when this became a topic?"

Probably driving to the convenience store to get Sudafed.

Yes, I'm kidding. Ace seems to be a mull it over kind of guy rather than a troubleshoot, test, and observe the results type.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:43 AM (hawOV)

164

I'm actually flattered christoph.

Thank you.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:43 AM (ul7te)

165

Ace seems to be a mull it over kind of guy rather than a troubleshoot, test, and observe the results type

In My experience, which is about 3 or 4 years, you are SO FUCKING WRONG!!!!

No offense to Ace, but he either just ignores shit, or he goes batshit.

No really, Ace is just the word of reason never saying anything for however long, and then one day, he JUST FUCKING LOSES IT!!!!  and starts banning people.

Like. . .Me.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 12:46 AM (ul7te)

166 WP, I have read your ramblings before, and I know you know a good bit about alot of things, and you were a Marine, and you have ...issues...and you have a blog of your own, and you probably type faster than I do and  you probably have better hair.
damn, I am overwhelmed, truly.

But in your life mission to be you, the raging bean, the unrepentent legume, did it occur to you that sudafed, your answer to every thing sinus is about  brain dead?

To wit:

Sudafed, pseudoephedrine Hcl, is a stimulant, and about the only thing worse to give a troubled sleeper than a narcotic. But being in Sleep, you already knew that, didn't ya?
And  you just knew that stimulants disturb the sleep cycle terribly. And then there's the matter of "rebound congestion" where in these types of meds make the mucosal secretions in your nose and lungs worse and thicker. Making breathing harder than ever.
You already knew that though, didn't ya?
And you knew that such stimulants, being related to the amphetamines family can overstimulate laboring hearts, like that of a chronic apnea sufferer and overstimulate the parasympathetic nervous system and make problems that are severe into life threatening ones, right?
'Course you did, in your career of literally seconds of such relevant experience in this field.
Damn, what was I thinking?
Thanks, MarcusWelbyPinto,MD, I sit corrected. I'll check with you for consulting on my next case as long as you let me comment here like I deserve to sit in your reflected glory and intellect. I am humbled.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:50 AM (2rMGM)

167
My worst nightmare ever is pretty much going to be waking up on Nov. 5th and hearing that Barry O'Bama is the President-elect.

Posted by: thebronze at November 01, 2008 12:50 AM (n1H2t)

168 troubleshoot, test and observe...damn, who'd have thunk you could use the scientific method to get medical results?
I'm stunned.

See ya.

Posted by: johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson at November 01, 2008 12:51 AM (2rMGM)

169 johnjacobjingleheimersmith and wesson, I actually don't support the use of Sudofed. I don't oppose it either. I just don't think it's long term sustainable.

And, yes, I did know what kind of chemical it is.

I didn't want to harp on the Sudofed thing with Wickedpinto because the larger point to me it might be a sinus problem, or narcolepsy as Top talks about, or apnea as you suggest... and I don't want to get someone fixated on a particular diagnosis.

I'd rather they keep an open mind, take control of their own health care, and use specialized health care experts as resources to help solve their problems.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:56 AM (hawOV)

170 Ace, if you're still reading comments on this, the trailer for Beyond the Door was on TV. My brother was 10 at the time, I was 6 and we both lost our shit completely. Exorcist rip or no, that was some scaryass crap for a kid. My nightmare was always nuclear war. I would see the flash and feel my skin start to evaporate from the blast.

Posted by: Who is Good Will at November 01, 2008 12:57 AM (ElNuT)

171 "No really, Ace is just the word of reason never saying anything for however long, and then one day, he JUST FUCKING LOSES IT!!!!  and starts banning people."

Well, I know I'm not allowed to talk about Jesus. It upsets the Christian conservatives. Who are usually my allies. Life is complicated.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 12:59 AM (hawOV)

172 Does anyone need to ask when someone mentions "The V of Doom"?

As for that Beyond the Door flick, the scariest part...really...is the "Who are you?" at the beginning of the short trailer.

Posted by: Pipe Barackage at November 01, 2008 01:00 AM (Z9IOH)

173

I'm just saying Ace has his own form of crazy john.

Thats all.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 01:01 AM (ul7te)

174

I'm an atheist Christoph, and Ace admits he is at best an agnostic.

It's nothing like that.

It has more to do with my willingness to use the N word (cuz I don't give a fuck about it cuz I tend to date N word women)  or my use of the C word (cuz I actually have a TITLE post using the C word at AMA) or me calling cindy Sheehan the C word, I don't give one fuck.

I don't give a fuck, and so Ace has to deal with that, and it's unfair so I contain myself here.

BTW if you want the C-word link, just ask.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 01:12 AM (ul7te)

175 You guys are messed up.  The worst dreams I ever had were standing still while trying to run and coming to school naked as a child in elementary school.

Then didn't have a bad dream until I returned to college in 2000.  I was taking Calc 3 and we had a lot of discussion about infinity and powers of numbers.   I fell asleep while thinking there had to be a better way to notate powers of powers (later I found out there was).  After that my dream was similar to the geometric pattern one.  I saw infinityinfinity (using the infinity symbol) repeated many times.  As (I stood up (my views are 3rd person) I could see it repeated infinite times to the end of the universe.  I try to comprehend, in the dream, infinity to the infinity power repeated and then woke up frightened for some reason.

Posted by: alecthemad at November 01, 2008 01:12 AM (wRfjf)

176 Goddamnit, everyone's got to read this article.

It has nothing to do with Ace's nightmares. It's scary fucking shit.

h/t Patterico

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 01:13 AM (hawOV)

177

How about this?

Another nightmare I have, is watching an opponent die.

those dreams of others dying isn't a fantasy, it's a nightmare.

All I wanted to do was protect people, but my dreams consist of murder.

It hurts.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 01:17 AM (ul7te)

178 Well, back on nightmares....

I have had the recurring tornado nightmare.  Usually, I end up hiding somewhere safe and,when I come out, there is destruction everywhere but where I am.

Second recurring (though maybe not in last ten years), paralyzed awake/dreaming with the Satanic voice talking to me.  Probably the scariest one I was laying in bed and I could see the clock said 3:02.  I couldn't move and there was something with red eyes across the room talking to me in satanic/darth vader voice.  The only thing I could move was my eyes.  I kept looking at the clock and thinking "okay, this is a dream.  I just need to move and I'll wake up" as someone noted in their dream earlier.  At some point I thought I was screaming it in my head.  Finally, I was freaking out so much I woke up.  My arms were still numb and tingling from sleep so I could barely move.  I looked at the clock and it said 3:11 AM.  If you really want to know, it was seeing that the clock was in sequence with my dream that really made me freak out.  Because, until then, I was damned sure it was a nightmare.  But, seeing the clock with the right time...I couldn't sleep for hours.  I realized later that I was having a waking nightmare and it wasn't unusual.  Fortunately, I'm not much on the whole demons thingy or I might have been much more paranoid.

Third nightmare/dream is a recurring dream of flying.  Not in a good way either.  I mean, flying as in I am like superman.  Usually through my house.  I see everything in place like furniture, clothes I've left out, etc.  Typically ends up with me flying/falling into bed, back from my little trip and then I wake up.  The one that actually scared me was the dream where I flew out my window and started rising really, really fast towards the moon and starts.  Unlike the other flights, though, this one seemed almost out of control and without destination except to go higher as the house and trees shrank behind me.  going to high was scaring me.

However, mirroring something Christoph said, having had that dream at least four times prior to that occasion, I decided that I could stop myself and fly back after I stopped panicking.  Which I did after taking a nice little flight around the neighborhood, back through the tree by my window and back through the window to land face down on the bed with a bit of a thump.  Where I woke up a nano second later, laying face down on the bed. 

I'm not sure if you call the last one a "nightmare" or just an odd dream, but where I fly is never the same though I can recognize every detail of the "terrain".  I thought in previous flying dreams where I flew through the house that it might have been sleepwalking, but the last dream where I was flying up to the moon was definitely no sleep walking.

I don't remember many of my dreams these days. 

Posted by: kat-missouri at November 01, 2008 01:17 AM (GxnBZ)

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 01:19 AM (ul7te)

180

Spend your nights dreaming of murder.

do it.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 01:21 AM (ul7te)

181 According to the link, that link, is an oil painting, that is John Cox, expressing himself only through brushes, on a single canvas.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 01:23 AM (ul7te)

182 I don't know how many dreams I remember, but I know that I'm affraid of almost all of them.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 01:24 AM (ul7te)

183 Woooo!

Total hat tip to Red State.

"Now, listen, I've voted 'present' two or three times in my entire 25-year political career, where there might have been a conflict of interest and I didn't feel like I should vote," [House Minority Leader John] Boehner said. "In Congress, we have a red button, a green button and a yellow button, alright. Green means 'yes,' red means 'no,' and yellow means you're a chicken shit. And the last thing we need in the White House, in the oval office, behind that big desk, is some chicken who wants to push this yellow button."

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 01:25 AM (hawOV)

184 Time for me to dream about murder and death.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 01:29 AM (ul7te)

185 I don't know if it counts as a nightmare but...
I did have this weird dream once where a disembodied vagina floats in the darkness and makes a gug gug gug noise with its labia moving like the mouth on a hand puppet. I woke up a bit puzzled, and slightly turned on.

Posted by: spice at November 01, 2008 01:29 AM (c14cm)

186 November 7, recounts are in, McCain has won.  He announced that Obama will be his Secretary of State and Vicente Fox will run IHS, just to let everyone know he's still McCain.

Posted by: dustydog at November 01, 2008 01:38 AM (w0NJA)

187 alexthechick is pretty smart and she usually has things to say about that. I'd ask her.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 01:38 AM (hawOV)

188 OT, not sure if anyone else has noticed, but this is pretty damning, and the PAC running that $6 million ad buy showcasing Reverend Wright should REALLY add the last line of this video to it.

Obama Video:  "Reverend Wright the best the Black Church has to offer"

http://tinyurl.com/6prd6g


Qwinn

Posted by: Qwinn at November 01, 2008 01:45 AM (3FVXC)

189

Time for one post; blogging from a hotel room.

 

When I was born Harry Truman was president and the commies controlled both houses. We cycled back and forth between presidents of both parties with the Dems controlling congress the entire time all the way up to the 90s. Until Reagan came along the most conservative president we had was JFK.

 

Drive-In came in went before I got my first car (drove a motorcycle for first vehicle). By the time I got my first car drive-ins were all porno.

 

Worst nightmare; more presidents and congress like we had for the first 30 years of my life and it looks like we may be headed that way.

Posted by: Vic at November 01, 2008 01:46 AM (LVIa+)

190

Worst nightmare; more presidents and congress like we had for the first 30 years of my life and it looks like we may be headed that way.


Not a chance, man, not a chance.  Don't let the Democrat Psi-Ops operation get to you.  McCain will win, and I wouldn't be surprised if he gets well over 300 electoral votes.  The polls aren't just cooked, they are char broiled.  Or here, let me put it this way:  the bias in the polls is exactly as intense as the bias at MSNBC.


Qwinn

Posted by: Qwinn at November 01, 2008 01:49 AM (3FVXC)

191 That may very well be. I know the polls are shit so we just have no idea right now.

Posted by: Vic at November 01, 2008 01:51 AM (LVIa+)

192 Yes, the polls are shit.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 01:54 AM (hawOV)

193 Look, if the Pub candidate really was some far right wing extremist, maybe Obama would have a chance.  But is this center-right country, the one that rejected John Kerry 4 years ago, suddenly going to elect a far far far left wing communist when it has an (all too) centrist that was a media darling for over a decade available?

Seriously, not a chance.  DON'T take this to mean we don't have to show up and vote, that it's a done deal.  It isn't.  But I have faith that those who recognize how bad this guy is -will- turn out, will not let the psi-ops get to them, and McCain will persevere.  As long as we don't lose our nerve or fail to show up... but I don't think Americans will.

Qwinn

Posted by: Qwinn at November 01, 2008 01:56 AM (3FVXC)

194 (P.S.  God, I never ever ever thought I could sound that rah rah for -McCain-.  Ugh.  Dirty.  Feel dirty.  Not in good way.  Must... hug... Palin doll...).

Posted by: Qwinn at November 01, 2008 02:00 AM (3FVXC)

195

.  Must... hug... Palin doll

O'Bama arrrggggh

Must... control fist of death

Posted by: Vic at November 01, 2008 02:06 AM (LVIa+)

196 Er, Qwinn. I was gonna ask you if you thought we might get the biggest ever voter turnout this year...but...um, maybe later. 

Posted by: spice at November 01, 2008 02:11 AM (c14cm)

197

Well folks, all dressed up and got places to go. Catch ya’ll on the flipside.

Posted by: Vic at November 01, 2008 02:16 AM (LVIa+)

198 I dreamed I got stuck in an elevator with Joe Biden for four years.

Posted by: Stinky Esposito at November 01, 2008 02:22 AM (MMC8r)

199 I have nightmares where I am being chased by angry sockpuppets

Posted by: myiq2xu at November 01, 2008 02:35 AM (+Zr/W)

200

BTW - I saw "The Exorcist" AND "Beyond the Door" at the drive-in on a double bill.

 

BTD was soooo scary I fell asleep.

 

"Beyond the Green Door" was a much better movie.

Posted by: myiq2xu at November 01, 2008 02:38 AM (+Zr/W)

201 ACE! My parents took us to the drive in in our pajamas!!! I was 3! How old were you? My big scare was the pig face episode of The Twilight Zone - my babysitter let me watch it. I had bad dreams into my teens!

Posted by: jane at November 01, 2008 02:39 AM (toviS)

202 bunch of fucking cocksuckers

Posted by: gp at November 01, 2008 02:45 AM (gsxJU)

203 Babysitter took us, and got away with it until me and brother ratted her out later like the little shits that we were. Double bill at the drive-in, Freaks (except the sign called it She-Freak) & Castle of Blood, the Vincent Price one about the wager to survive a night in the haunted mansion, that ends with Price thinking he lost when he shows up the next morning and sees one of the group standing out front. Turns out he is impaled on the gate so Vince goes in after his wallet with the closing words "I collect". that's how I remember it, anyway. Freaks gave me nightmares, oh yes indeedy.

Posted by: rhodeymark at November 01, 2008 03:04 AM (BeUZj)

204 Pussy.

Posted by: Gordon Marock at November 01, 2008 03:16 AM (j5N5f)

205 Gallup has Obama up another 2. 3rd straight gain for him in as many days.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 03:17 AM (hawOV)

206 And so it begins. Here is the top story on yahoo, which the PUMAs warned would happen: AP poll shows Obama backers gleeful, McCain's glum (AP) That smiling guy walking down the street? Odds are he's a Barack Obama backer. The grouchy looking one? Don't ask, and don't necessarily count on him to vote next week, either. http://tinyurl.com/6j27m5

Posted by: Michael in MI at November 01, 2008 03:20 AM (s0Zrm)

207 Link here. It looks terrible. For encouragement, see this.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 03:20 AM (hawOV)

208 Rasmussen's latest poll of PA shows McCain within 4 (51-47).  Rasmussen's poll of PA earlier this week showed a 7 point gap. 

Pennsylvania is coming our way!  If you live there, please get out there and get people to the polls on Tuesday!

Posted by: Ryan at November 01, 2008 03:25 AM (MMxvP)

209 Christoph - Remember though that, if that one post is true, if Obama is not up 10, then he is losing. That poll shows Obama with an 8 point lead. So if there is any truth to the campaign saying it needs to be up 10 in order to win, being up 8 is not going to cut it.

Posted by: Michael in MI at November 01, 2008 03:25 AM (s0Zrm)

210 Yes, Michael in MI, but that's a huge if. That one radio show showing McCain decimating Obama across the country is almost certainly bullshit.

Anyway, did anyone see former Saturday Night Live actress Victoria Jackson call Obama a communist yesterday? It was precious. Must see video!

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 03:37 AM (hawOV)

211 I don't watch gory horror movies, waiting a decade after its release to see The Exorcist. I hate feeling an unresolved pit in my stomache from a movie. Fargo showed that real life contains so much angst. A dose of Dirty Harry sets things right.

In childhood, I would fly a lot in my dreams when pressures mounted. I'd will myself to float above whatever was going on when I was a little kid. It got to where I'd fly tracing over the highway drive to my grandparents on the other side of the state, actually stopping at the water hole my parents would always drive past on those hot desert road trips without A/C. Once when floating/flying, a weather storm blew in and rather than return for a landing, I decided to pilot above the clouds to avoid the storm. In subsequent dreams exploring towards the atmosphere I found my attachment to earth weakening, and my will to land was overwhelmed by natural forces beyond my will. It took everything in me to focus my essence back onto the ground. After that, I always prefered flying below power line level rather than above where a destructive force sensed my fear and played with my self determination trying to suck away my energy. And I eschew those dark pits eating away at my guts. Being unattached to earth and becoming part of the blackness beyond was letting go of what all mattered, and I would not. My dreams explored underwater as well, finding that breathing very slowly underwater could happen to survive when catastrophe would leave me stranded in the ocean.  There were underwater people helping, showing me how to survive. Oddly, the flying ability took a lot of dreams to recall under water. Propelling oneself from under the water into the air was a spectacular thrill far better than diving in. Surviving via adaptation without requiring mechanical contraptions was nice.

Those are some of my recurring dreams from years prior. The ones from grade school discovering I'm naked standing in the lunchline were socially mortifying, but we had a coat rack at the entrance as a saving grace from that trauma.

Posted by: maverick muse at November 01, 2008 03:39 AM (F1b/5)

212

"And So it begins?"

Is that a B5 reference?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 03:40 AM (ul7te)

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 03:45 AM (hawOV)

214 Is that a B5 reference? What's B5? I was actually channelling my geeky side with reference to the line in Lord of the Rings. Yes, Michael in MI, but that's a huge if. That one radio show showing McCain decimating Obama across the country is almost certainly bullshit. What radio show is that??? That is BS. I don't believe that McCain is decimating Obama anywhere, but I also don't believe all the news stories showing Obama with 330+ EVs and destroying McCain all over the country. I believe that it is close, that it will come down to GOTV efforts and that people, when faced with a far lefty, far far more left than Kerry as opposed to a guy who is center-right on some issues and center-left on many others... will break for the center-left-right guy. Call me naive and optimistic, but I have to believe the American public at large have not completely lost their fuhkeen minds in the last 4 years and are ready to turn over the country to a socialist/borderline communist/marxist.

Posted by: Michael in MI at November 01, 2008 03:54 AM (s0Zrm)

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 03:59 AM (hawOV)

216 Fun to read that, Ace. I remember the BTD trailer scared the piss out of me as a kid too. 

Posted by: BNJ at November 01, 2008 04:00 AM (1yzGh)

217

78 #44: *climbing off of soapbox*

Speaking of soapboxes, how in hell did the thread get to over 70 comments without anyone making a Behind the Green Door joke? Apparently this blog is 99 and 44/100% pure homo.

I just got here. I carried a date to see Behind the Green Door at the Rainsville drive in, I bet where ever it is, the  windows on that old 55 Chevy are still Steamed  up. 

 

Wonder where that gal is today?

 

 

 

Posted by: 1sttofight at November 01, 2008 04:08 AM (WNzrw)

218 Ace,

No offense to your parents but that was a bit much for a young kid (I assume you were
under 12 at the time). My parents took me with them to the drive-in, too, but I never saw
anything very scary (we're talking a whole different era in this case, however).

The Exorcist pretty much established the level for that sort of horror flick, like Halloween and Jamie Lee Curtis set the standard for slasher pics forever ... and ever ... and ever.

Beyond the Door was damn scary but it sucked even so. Sucked without peer, too.

Posted by: prairiemain at November 01, 2008 04:10 AM (uDqa7)

219 In my nightmares, my weapon is always malfunctioning.
Pump shotgun with slide that barely works
Rifle that wont cycle
Ammunition that fires with 1/2 the velocity of a roman candle
Pistol stuck in its holster
(shudders)

Posted by: Beto Ochoa at November 01, 2008 04:11 AM (F1b/5)

220 Tonight I've tried to help Ace solve his smoking problem and add years of healthy life living with his wife and family not to mention feeling a lot better about himself each day every day, learn a new way to adopt beliefs to improve his family's finances, and conquer his fears, and so forth.

Seriously, Christoph, you write something like that and you don't get why people think you're annoying?  That's an honest question - do you really not understand how pretentious and arrogant the above-quoted paragraph sounds?  Especially when you follow it up by complaining that we're "shitting on you" for your magnanimity?

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at November 01, 2008 04:37 AM (8CGjC)

221

In Top Secret, Val Kilmer goes into a dream sequence where he's back in college.  He's wandering around with an armload of books, looking for the chemistry class, only to find out that all the exams are over.  He wakes up to find he's hanging by his wrists, and two guys are beating the crap out of him.

He says, "Oh thank God!"

Posted by: roamingfirehydrant at November 01, 2008 04:46 AM (X+tXI)

222 Obama's nightmare: 119 To sum up what we know: 1. The Obama campaign must have known she was here because she was informed she should not talk to the media until after the election. 2. They knew she was here and either was unaware she was here illegally (unlikely) or didn't care (more likely) or did care, but only about the news getting out (most likely) 3. They knew she was here and she was living in public housing while Barack was raking in millions from his best selling books. 4. They knew she was here and was not legally allowed to make campaign contributions to obama but they accepted them anyway. If there were any real journalists left in America, they might want to ask some of the following questions in addition to the obvious "did he know" ones: 1. "Your aunt said she couldn't talk about you until after the election. Who told her that?" (removes the "we didn't know" response option) 2. "Since Barack said we should be our brother's keeper, why is his aunt living in a housing project when he's a multi millionaire? Isn't it hypocritical to ask others to pay higher taxes to 'spread the wealth' when Barack is unwilling to do it for his own aunt?" 3. "Has senator Obama ever intervened on his aunt's behalf with the INS? Why or why not?" 4. "Your campaign defended its lack of fraud control for online credit card donations by saying they would be caught later on during screening. Isn't the fact that an illegal alien was able to make multiple donations to your campaign proof that your screening either doesn't work or doesn't actually exist?" Barack can't play the 'my aunt is a victim of the press' card. His aunt is the victim of his own opportunism and callousness. This is all about Obama and his whole neighborliness schtick being revealed as a big lie. Posted by: nobody of consequence at November 01, 2008 03:14 AM (qXcvh)

Posted by: funky chicken at November 01, 2008 04:48 AM (xyyHG)

223

B5, Babylon 5.

A pundit is saying "Indiana is a battle ground state thats how unusual it is."

by "unusual" do you mean FRAUDULENT?!

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 05:11 AM (ul7te)

224

Most memorable nightmare was after the first time I saw Johnny Quest, the original.  Yeah, a long time ago.  When my Dad came in to comfort me and scared the crap out of me.

 

My wife says sometimes I now call out orders to rally men and attack again.  I guess fighting back is the answer.

Posted by: TomJW at November 01, 2008 05:15 AM (XBGrP)

225 Tonight I've tried to help Ace solve his smoking problem and add years of healthy life living with his wife and family not to mention feeling a lot better about himself each day every day, learn a new way to adopt beliefs to improve his family's finances, and conquer his fears, and so forth.

Seriously, Christoph, you write something like that and you don't get why people think you're annoying?  That's an honest question - do you really not understand how pretentious and arrogant the above-quoted paragraph sounds?

Ace wrote a post asking for help with one of these problems (with a twist), and the others came up. Then he deep sixed the post.

So, Mrs. Peel... fuck off.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 05:16 AM (hawOV)

226 Further: I was trying to offer some options for Ace to effect change on some of those levels... or anyone else who is interested. I knew it would annoy people. That wasn't part of my calculus. I don't care about that. I was focussing on something else.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 05:18 AM (hawOV)

227 Talk bad about Mrs Peel again, and you will have at least 13 enemies for life Christoph.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 05:24 AM (ul7te)

228

and I'm the one with the smoking and drinking problem.  I think ace has cut way back on his smoking.

I'm about 2 packs, ace isn't even a pack, at least that is back in the days of "HOIST."

and that 13, doesn't even include the IBer's, or the AOSER's.

Peel is special.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 05:26 AM (ul7te)

229

So is Patty, so is LeaAnn, so is PJMamma, so is T/MoZ, so is Nice Deb, so is Gmac, so is Sohos so is TI, so are all the other Hostage wimmins.

We take care of our bitches and ho's.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 05:31 AM (ul7te)

230 Aprilwine is completely off limits.  She's the nice detainee.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 05:33 AM (ul7te)

231

After I read A Wrinkle in Time, I had a recurrent dream about being in a two-dimensional world where my lungs wouldn't function, so I smothered.  Great scene.  Thanks Madeleine L'Engle, great scene to put into a children's book.

Posted by: dustydog at November 01, 2008 05:04 AM (w0NJA)

Yah, THAT is one scary ass children's book.  What was she thinking? The "ball bouncing and boy screaming" scene gave me shudders for weeks.  

Nightmares? Here's pretty much a video depiction of my nightmares as a kid:

http://tinyurl.com/5lbzpd

Oh, that and "the man in the moon" winking at me from the sky, which terrified me for some reason.  Had that one till I was 18. 

 

 

Posted by: former thumb sucker now lumpen emotionless mesomorph at November 01, 2008 05:33 AM (b0sdZ)

232 Madeleine L'Engle

Oh, right, I used to read her. Yeah, she was one fucked up puppy, now that I think about it.


Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 05:39 AM (hawOV)

233

I remember seeing on the news an aniversery of one of the moon landings, that showed one of the "moonrise" photo's.

Ever since then, Nothing having to do with space is scary.  It might be a conflict, but it's not scary, it is something we should, have a right, and MUST do.

And I'm affraid of heights, but space isn't up, it's forward.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 05:40 AM (ul7te)

234

Mostly in college, I had semi-frequent, incredibly vivid nightmares where usually I would be strangled. One of the worst ones was straight out of An American Werewolf in London.  

I had my usual terrifying strangle nightmare and sat up in bed trying to calm myself. A hand then shot up from below and seized my wrist ala Carrie. That's when I woke up for real, screaming, still lying down and soaking wet with sweat. That was a real mindfuck because there were occasional times where I would be woken up in my pitch black dorm room but i was afraid I might still be in a dream. Even knowing that whatever terrifying thing might then happen would be a dream, I still didn't want to have to go through it.

 

Posted by: Prindle at November 01, 2008 05:42 AM (K55GU)

235 Talk bad about Mrs Peel again, and you will have at least 13 enemies for life Christoph.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 10:24 AM (ul7te)

Make that 14.

Posted by: former thumb sucker now lumpen emotionless mesomorph at November 01, 2008 05:43 AM (b0sdZ)

236 This thread is too funny.  I have the recurring tornado dream too, as well as the one where I'm looking in the mirror and my teeth start going loose and falling out.   A kid I used to babysit for had a recurring nightmare that she was driving with her mother (mother in front seat, she in back) and the mother disappears. 

Posted by: plum at November 01, 2008 05:45 AM (aSt3g)

237 One of those people has killed someone.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 05:52 AM (ul7te)

238 Holy shit after reading these posts I have nightmares about you guys!

Posted by: Nightmares at November 01, 2008 06:17 AM (Am6n/)

239 I remember drive-ins. I spent many a hazy night at them.  But one incident in particular stands out. 
I was at the Judson 4 on a warm spring evening in my '66 Ford Fairlane (nicknamed 'the Ragmobile' as I never washed it and it was raggedy looking).  I was there to see 'B.A.R.F' - Bizzarre Adventures in Raw Film.  This was a 'Kentucky Fried Movie' ripoff, which was itself a ripoff of 'The Groove Tube'.  It was heavily promoted as a comedy with a twist;  one of the marketing gimmicks was that barf bags would be provided at the ticket booth. 
For some reason, many parents thought this would be a great movie to take their kids to see.  The drive-in was filled with station wagons parked backwards with kids in their jammies bundled up with blankets and pillows in the back, fortified with popcorn and soda, while mom and dad spread lawn chairs, coolers, and picnic baskets around the car and settled in for some inexpensive, wholesome family fun.
Soon, it was full dark and the projector kicked on.  Excitement built as first the cheesy concession stand ads ran, then the Coming Attractions/previews/movie trailers.  Faint cheers were heard as, finally, the movie we'd all been waiting for started. 
This excitement lasted for about 7 seconds into the first scene of the movie.  That was when some bimbo came running around the corner in a panic, her boobies flopping.  Moms and dads started to exchange concerned glances.  About 3 seconds after that, a seven foot tall penis blasted around the corner in pursuit of the topless bimbo.  All around me, moms were jumping in front of their kids yelling at them to 'look away!' while dads frantically tossed lawn chairs, coolers, and picnic baskets into the car.  For about 3 minutes, the movied was drowned out as the air was filled with the sounds of agitated parents and screeching tires as dozens, if not hundreds, of hastily packed station wagons zoomed towards the exits (Do not back up: SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE will occur).
Not long after that, the drive in closed and station wagons were replaced with minivans and SUVs. I can only conclude that the movie B.A.R.F. was responsible for the demise of those vernable pieces of Americana.

Posted by: Jeff at November 01, 2008 06:17 AM (t8Oyx)

240 I have a recurring nightmare series that begins with the dream wherein I am watching out of body as I get dismembered by an ax.  Then they get bad.  It's a barrel of fun when that cycle starts, let me tell you.

There's still a drive in operating about 10 minutes from my house.  It's a lot of fun to go during the summer. 

Posted by: alexthechick at November 01, 2008 06:22 AM (9lZg2)

241 I'm realizing that my nightmares were pretty tame and I'm a lot more psychologically stable than I knew. Thanks, guys.

You folks are weird.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 06:26 AM (hawOV)

242 What on earth were my parents doing taking me to a theater showing trailers like this.

Dude, ask yourself...

Did they let you ride in the car standing on the bench seat in the front, with no seatbelt?

Did they let you ride on that shelf under the rear window?

Did they happily send you to the toy section by yourself in giant stores, so they could get their shopping done in peace?

Different times, man, different times.

Also, you're old.

Posted by: Greg Griffith at November 01, 2008 06:30 AM (6cvPQ)

243 I saw "Dressed To Kill" out of the back windo of my aunts car, when I was supposed to be watching "Staying Alive" I trhink, in my aunts van.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 06:41 AM (ul7te)

244 We still had a drive-in theater when I was old enough to date.
It must've been one of the last ones to close -- small town.
It was a great place to get some.

Also, saw the first "Nightmare on Elm Street" there.
I was 11 or 12.
Pretty fun and pretty scary sitting in a lawn chair without the protection of walls.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at November 01, 2008 06:45 AM (nOQ1R)

245

I dream of murder.  Not vengeful murder, but Cold and indifferent murder, where life means nothing.  Where there is only one punishment, and only I can dish it out........wickedpinto

Remind me not to go to any sort of Hostage-palooza with you ok?

Posted by: pajama momma at November 01, 2008 06:47 AM (f3xJa)

246

Did they let you ride on that shelf under the rear window?

You had a shelf under your rear window? You must have been rich.

Posted by: pajama momma at November 01, 2008 06:50 AM (f3xJa)

247 Two-Nine, back in '99 had a drive in right off of base.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 06:51 AM (ul7te)

248 how quaint,
All my nightmares involve me being tortured by my older brothers or almost drowned by me Aunt.

Posted by: anonymous at November 01, 2008 06:56 AM (DHNp4)

249

Those weren't nightmares anonymous, those were realities.  At least for me.

Actually bro was as good a bro as he could be, while still being a somewhat popular guy.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 07:01 AM (ul7te)

250

Once he got out of highschool, he was an AWESOME big bro.

I'm fortunate.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 07:05 AM (ul7te)

251 Ace,

Same experience with the drive-in as a kid (I'm 41 now but was 3 at the time). Can't remember what we were there to see but there was a preview of a movie which I later figured out was The Thing With Two Heads. I take it this was meant to be some kind of blaxploitation comedy...sort of. I say sort of because I still haven't been able to watch it, so I don't actually know. Anyway, at three, all that stuff was going way over my head. All I knew was there was a guy with two heads that seemed to be angry at each other, and it was utterly freaky.

I still have the Alien nightmare about 4 times a year. In my version we're not on a ship or LV 246, we're in a base that's a cross between Alpha from Space 1999 and the set from Logan's Run (only Farah Fawcett and Jenny Agutter aren't there which would make for a whole other type of dream). Just me and a few losers getting picked off. About four times a year. Sucks every time.

Posted by: John at November 01, 2008 07:17 AM (NcsIb)

252 If it weren't for big bro, I wouldn't have read "of mice and men" when I was in third grade.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 07:20 AM (ul7te)

253 Pinto,
They were realities for me also, but I guess with a little more bite. Hence the nightmares. If your brothers did what mine did there would be nothing in them that anyone could ever confuse for "awesome"

Posted by: anonymous at November 01, 2008 07:21 AM (DHNp4)

254 My one brother would delight in his torture sessions after school each day. And if i ever complained to my parents my father would scream at me for making trouble. I still have the scars on my back and the night terrors whenever i get stressed that leave me soaking wet and unable to sleep for hours.

Posted by: anonymous at November 01, 2008 07:23 AM (DHNp4)

255 I had a decent life Anon, that makes my nightmares WOrse.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 07:26 AM (ul7te)

256

I fight with my big brother all the time anon, but you know what?

I have a big brother, and he loves me, he's a DICK, but he loves me.

being a little kid with a big brother, ROCKS, even if you are brutalized, I was very fortunate.

I love my big bro.

Shit, I just got misty for some reasone.

I love my big bro.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 07:44 AM (ul7te)

257

Rich bitches can have diamonds, and pearls, and riches, and a husband that doesn't require a pre-nup.

But they don't have big brothers.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 07:50 AM (ul7te)

258 Cheezit, Ace, get you some CPAP. Before you die of a heart attack. Sleep apnea can mess you up.

Posted by: SarahW at November 01, 2008 07:55 AM (7sl9X)

259

Ace,

Great post. I swear Ace your chilldhood takes alot of pages from my own. (The Thing (epic horror movie top ten as well, Dungeons and Dragons,etc). But this post...Beyond the Door....OMFG. After watching a Nightstalker episode on a late saturday night my younger sister we both feel asleep in the family room. My Dad in his chair was also out like a light. This movie came on and I watched it alone in the dark....scared the shit out of me. There is a scene where the woman is asleep in her bed and her child tries to wake her. The woman answers in a deep males voice staring at the kid "WHOOOO ARE YOU!!!!" Freaking scary when your 11.. That scene woke my sister up. I had a slot car track set up in the room (Tyco Empire 1000) She jumped up and ran to her room crunching the tracks in the dark while I screamed at her for breaking my track. To this day my Dad still bellows "Who are you" in that voice to freak her out .  Going to email her this link now...she's pregnant .HA HA HA.

 

 

Posted by: VinnieV at November 01, 2008 07:58 AM (rBwGp)

260 Vinnie totaly wants to fuck ace.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 08:13 AM (ul7te)

261 FWIW, those dreamstate/hallucinatory geometric patterns are sometimes referred to as "form constants".

Posted by: SarahW at November 01, 2008 08:17 AM (7sl9X)

262 And there is SCIENCE!, though I would have to go looking for recent efforts to explain form constants.

Posted by: SarahW at November 01, 2008 08:17 AM (7sl9X)

263

Just when i thought you were some brillant young punk with great ways with words....you impress me with your years of  ( re:burt) how cool are you that you know of burt's movies sorta...lol....my crazy parents took me, my brother and my sister when i being the oldest, at the age of 12 to see the movie 10 w/ bo and ddudley moore....it's amazing how what you are exposed to at the ages of 10-14 can really shape the way your interests and hangups would lay....like for the rest of your life.....really good thread---took me back to times i swore to hide away...

Posted by: nygal at November 01, 2008 08:44 AM (Q/ahG)

264

I use CPAP, I'd recommend a sleep study before buying one. I think you need a script to get one.

An alternative is to use a dental appliance, if you travel alot

Posted by: Mike H at November 01, 2008 08:46 AM (1V2sa)

265 For the record, the Stroker Ace character was created by author Bill Neely when he wrote "Stand On It: A Novel by Stroker Ace". Funny, funny book. The movie, not so much.

Posted by: Kane Rogers at November 01, 2008 08:47 AM (/cTOP)

266

Nygal?

We are bloggers, not net dorks.  Please translate.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 08:47 AM (ul7te)

267

Speaking of science; I suffered from Old Hag Syndrome when I was a kid.  It changed my life when I found out it was a sleep disorder that lots of people have.

FYI, Old Hag is that dream where you believe something malevolent is in your room or holding you down, and you can't move.

It's hereditary too, so my kids have had it, and fortunately I knew what it was (unlike MY parents).

And uh, flying dreams are about sex.  perverts.

One more thing, Ace: I remember seeing that "Beyond the Door" commmercial when I was up late watching a Godzilla flick all those years ago.  That "Who are you?" made my skin crawl right off my body.

Posted by: Barbelle at November 01, 2008 08:48 AM (qF8q3)

268

Wickedpinto.

As McCreedy would say....Fuck you too!!!

Posted by: VinnieV at November 01, 2008 08:54 AM (rBwGp)

269 You are still hoping for about 9 kinds of 6.022 X 10 23 into ACES ASS

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 09:01 AM (ul7te)

270

I remember it as 6.23X10to the 23rd.

But I might have been rounding up.

you know a decimal here, a decimel there over a 23! FUCKING DECIMALS!

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 09:03 AM (ul7te)

271 wickedpinto......whatever you guys are---you saved me from total despair with this election...I thought all was lost...anyways---gonna go to Target now...will be back later to finish...!!

Posted by: nygal at November 01, 2008 09:07 AM (Q/ahG)

272 Damn.  This is probably the most awesome thread to start regularly commenting in at AoSHQ.  Have I commented regularly anywhere else?  Hell no.

Well. OK.  That's a lie.  At one other blog, but I'm not into promoting other blogs - even if they're hockey related (bless you, Able to Yzerman).  Oh.  Well, anyway.  Dreams.  Did I mention I regularly dream of touching Lord Stanley's Cup?  Of course not.  I mentioned dreaming of a large object with geometrical patterns on it.  Large being, hrm, ever-extending large.  Like, you know, that tablet thingy in 2001 - if that tablet thingy were, like, God or something.  God-like big with God-like complex patterns woven into its surface.  Crazy.  Yes, I know.  Thanks.

I do have sleep problems, of this I'm rather certain.  What those problems are, aside from rather severe insomnia, I'm not sure - nor do I have the means to figure it all out.  I also, in case you haven't noticed, have some brain problems.  Once diagnosed with clinical depression and panic attacks.  There's more, I'm sure - hypochondria, perhaps?  No, not really.  I do tend to fit the bill for some form of mild autism, though - something my wife pointed out, actually.  But also, oddly, ADD.  Helps with the multi-tasking anyway, so I can't complain.

I've had the geometical pattern dream - or nightmare, I suppose (I really did find it more interesting than frightening, though, yes, it was intense - if that's the correct word for it, not sure) - many, many times.  Like I wrote, it's never actually frightened me.  It was just surreal.  And, well, interesting.  I wrote, half-joking, patterns within chaos and chaos within patterns, but that's, more or less, what it felt like.  Being able to discern the patterns was the interesting part.  I'd rather dream of that than, well, being attacked by a mutant hiding behind a shower curtain or, er, most other nightmares.

Can't say if it was only when I had a fever, though.  Just don't know.  I still get that dream, and I'm about to turn 30, so the under 20 thing doesn't work with me.  Sleep deprivation might, though.  And now?  Well, shit, now I stare at currency charts all day, so, yeah, the dream has become reality, more or less.  Still finding patterns, too, and that finding allows me to make real money.  So, eh, I'm liking the dream so far.  The obnoxious ability to multi-task, as the wife calls it, has its benefits, too. 

And, to tie this into another Ace post, I sometimes get this nightmare while awake - or, well, half-asleep, day-dreaming, whatever.

Figuring out what those "form constants" are would be interesting. 

So, yeah.  Hi.

Posted by: amp at November 01, 2008 09:10 AM (h37S5)

273

Welcome amp.

I can't speak for everyone but I spent about 3 - 6 months pissed at not being acknowledged, thats why I created the bitch breaking thing.

So I welcome you early before you have to go to extremes.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 09:23 AM (ul7te)

274 Gee...ahh thanks for "acknowledging" me wickedpinto...I ..ahhh...guess

Posted by: VinnieV at November 01, 2008 09:34 AM (rBwGp)

275 Bullshit Vinnie, you have an identity, I had to fabricate one.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 01, 2008 09:42 AM (ul7te)

276 Thanks, Wicked, though I'm not looking for acknowledgment.  In fact, I'm guessing most of my commenting will be done in the third person.  So, yeah, I acknowledge myself.  It's like talking to yourself.  Only it's in written form.  That, friend, is the ultimate sort of masturbation.

Actually, no.  The ultimate form of masturbation is sending yourself mail (of the snail variety). Which I haven't done.  As of yet.

Posted by: amp at November 01, 2008 09:49 AM (h37S5)

277 Giant spiders in the basement. Not Shelob giant, but big.

Posted by: SplatticusFinch@aol.com at November 01, 2008 10:44 AM (fMooG)

278 "Vinnie totaly wants to fuck ace."

I think it's plain old fashioned hero worship, not teh gey.

Posted by: Christoph at November 01, 2008 11:55 AM (hawOV)

279

I'm traveling thru time and see the following:

1. Obama was Preasident  for  8 years  (John Kerry was his Secretary of State) and in the interest of spreading the wealth he gave Texas and California  to Mexico and Alaska back to Russia

2. Hillary Clinton is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Bill Clinton  is the U.N. Secretary General and Chelsea Clinton is president having won all 57  54 states. The President now chooses two V.P's and Chelsea has picked both of Barack's daughters.  Finally just prior to waking up I discover  The 2nd Amendment has been repealed, Sly Stallone has just made another Rocky movie and Keith Obermann, president of NBC, is the most trusted and admired man in America.       

Posted by: adk46er at November 01, 2008 12:21 PM (kw5eP)

280 WP, and his beatch, Christoph:
If you read this far into the post...
What kind of troubleshooter am I? I'm not.
I am a school trained health care practitioner of  the Technical level. I do testing, every day, I do preliminary analysis of the computerized results, it's then reviewed by a Medical Doctor, also not a trouble shooter since he's going by JAMA, AMA,AASM, and numerous other ruling bodies and organizations to arrive at the appropriate diagnosis and treatment.
You troubleshoot a wonky car with lights that flicker, or a ceiling fan that won't rotate and like that. You don't troubleshoot people, and since Ace's classic description of his gal pals saying he doesn't sleep well, he stops breathing, he has those big "recovery breathes" that I could have mentioned, well, he's describing SDB, sleep disordered breathing, not a sinus drip. I work with Respiratory Therapists everyday though I am not one, so I get to learn all about it.

Still, I am not you, the raging bean, the unrepentent carbohydrate, so I guess you'll never like me now.
I can only be that lucky.

As an aside, having read a bit of your ramblings, a good bit, I think you're a screwed up dude, and you need the troubleshooting if anyone here.

Me? I'm opinionated but only insofar as I do this stuff daily. So am I wrong to get irritated?
Maybe, but hell, you're not on my trick or treat list and I owe you no money, so,
kiss my ass.

And that, Rebellious Bean/Wicked Pinto, is all the time I'll waste on you on a nice Saturday on my way to a cookout.
And since I sleep well, limit my drinking and only ever smoked some dope in my long ago youth, I feel good, my life unlike yours doesn't suck, and this whole typing amongst strangers remains what it was for me...a novelty.
For you, this is the stuff of life, and that, my man, is weak as water.
Cheers.Tool.

Posted by: john j j smith and wesson. at November 01, 2008 12:34 PM (+yRYa)

281 OH, I apologize but I'll go back to nice on the next thread I comment on.
Not now.

Posted by: john j j smith and wesson. at November 01, 2008 12:38 PM (+yRYa)

282 wickedpinto/ace and all-----this movie scared me so bad---and every year they played it over and over again on channel 29.....when i was young and skinny.........(no cable then) -and I never saw it from the beginning....even forgot the title....it was the man with 2 heads---and one of the head was a football player or something and they die at the end.......really bad and really scary at the same time---watched it mostly between my ring and middle finger.

Posted by: nygal at November 01, 2008 02:42 PM (Q/ahG)

283

Beyond the Door? Never saw it. Never even heard of it.

Behind the Green Door. Saw it at the drive in. Fucking warped me for life is all it did. The pimple on the inside of the fat woman's thigh? Ruint me on sex with fat girls.

Go rent it. You'll see what I mean.

Posted by: pendejo grande at November 01, 2008 03:47 PM (qN0f5)

284 asdasdfasfasdfsdaf

Posted by: Puppy at August 11, 2010 03:52 PM (oGZT4)

285 Thanks for sharing, I found this story while searching for rock lyrics Advertising signs, useful comments and great points made.thanks for great informations It’s a wonderful Writing Board! Great site. A lot of useful information here neon signs California. I’m sending it to some friends!I’ve recently started a blog Los Angeles neon signs, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.

Posted by: Advertising signs at January 07, 2011 10:08 PM (JsxNx)

286 Vibram shoesl is designed to cradle the foot, and not just protect it from the pounding, but Vibram Five Fingers shoes to optimize a Five Finger shoes runner's gait in such a way that a person can run longer and faster.Buy without worrying about injury.

Posted by: saly sa at April 11, 2011 05:08 AM (jQ3Gm)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.
228kb generated in CPU 0.33, elapsed 1.5813 seconds.
62 queries taking 1.3115 seconds, 522 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.