Ace of Spades HQ

May 31, 2005

A Comparative Critique of Variant Stormtrooper Armor-Marking Schemes
— Ace

Bad:

Good:

Thanks to GregD.

Posted by: Ace at 07:32 PM | Comments (31)
Post contains 21 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I want to see the USMC version!

Posted by: Scot at May 31, 2005 07:41 PM (GDOa/)

2 I think the guy with the stars and stripes has a bigger codpiece. Not that size makes a difference, of course.

Posted by: CraigC at May 31, 2005 07:51 PM (BO6SR)

3 The US Flag Trooper also has a huge shiny belt buckle!

But really, do you want the USofA associated with a group of StormTroopers? I mean it's creepy. Not only that but they're fucking incompetent unless they're shooting Jedi in the back. Further, they're clones for God's sake, isn't the right against cloning?

OTOH, the Peace Fairy StormTrooper does cause greater cognitive dissonance than big belt buckle trooper.

Posted by: vonKreedon at May 31, 2005 07:58 PM (wQYDC)

4 Ahh, but the clone troopers, the ones that actually marked their armor, were not incompetent shots. It's the clones of the clones of the clones, the ones in pure white that came later that were pale imitations of the originals.

Spaarti cloning cylinders can't make perfect digital copies after all.

And I'm a big frigging dork.

Posted by: JimK at May 31, 2005 08:21 PM (FHlsf)

5 JimK: Is that the official explanation? I figured it was because the Empire started cutting corners, stiffed the contractors, and got shoddy work back.

Posted by: someone at May 31, 2005 09:13 PM (/Ozav)

6 That damn hippy storm trooper is just begging Vader to choke the shit out of him with his mind.

Posted by: Sean M. at May 31, 2005 09:49 PM (e0H8j)

7 Caption #1:

Yo. Hippy. Get a life. Seriously.

Caption #2:

Somone call for a hipsterminator?

Posted by: krakatoa at May 31, 2005 11:20 PM (5Ui07)

8 Jim, I'll see your dork-dom and raise you with this:

What year of Gen Con is that? I didn't see them there last year and I'm 95% sure that's the Indianapolis Convention Center those two are in.

Posted by: Larry at June 01, 2005 02:53 AM (Ju2hM)

9 I didn't know Trey Anastasio and Toby Keith were Star Wars fans.

Posted by: planetmoron at June 01, 2005 02:54 AM (QRmed)

10 That's a belt buckle? I thought he stole the medallion off of a Peterbuilt Semi. My bad.

Posted by: Scot at June 01, 2005 03:43 AM (GDOa/)

11 I love the expression on the little kid's face looking at the hippy...

"D@mn, that could be me in twenty-five years!

Posted by: scott at June 01, 2005 03:51 AM (jdcWE)

12 Larry, or may I call you "Wanna-be-dork", if I'm not mistaken that's not GenCon, it's Star Wars Celebration, which is a GenCon LLC event but not a role-playing/gaming thing.

Continuing von Kreedon's idea, I'm certain the second Stormtrooper is proof enough for Democratic Underground that Chimpy McHitler's Evil Empire is about to supplant democracy in the US.

Posted by: Lapsed Leftist at June 01, 2005 06:29 AM (e1grs)

13 Vader (while choking the first guy):

"I find your lack of shame...disturbing."

Posted by: The Claw at June 01, 2005 06:47 AM (74cXW)

14 Ahh, but the clone troopers, the ones that actually marked their armor, were not incompetent shots. It's the clones of the clones of the clones, the ones in pure white that came later that were pale imitations of the originals.
--------------------------------------------------

That's funny, I had a similar thought. It was along the lines of what happened in that movie Multiplicity. Every time you copy something you get a copy of lesser quality than the original. The Stormtroopers are nth generation iterations of the original guys--copies of copies. Some end of taller or skinnier than others.

Posted by: at June 01, 2005 06:49 AM (fduTN)

15 Well, since the USA is always accused of being an Empire, and our soldiers are called stormtroopers by the left, we may as well just give in to the Dark Side and really give them something to worry about.

Stars'n'Stripes Trooper: "The only thing worse then the smell of hippie burning is the smell of a hippie not burning."

Posted by: Mikey at June 01, 2005 07:10 AM (O9Cc8)

16 Not only does the Hippy StormTrooper not have a weapon, but he appears to have a huge bag of weed in his left hand instead of his weapon!

Or maybe it's a bag of poop from walking his Bantha.

Posted by: vonKreedon at June 01, 2005 08:10 AM (hF0Vm)

17 Jesus H Christ how many Greg's give you tips, screw it change your blog to the blog that Greg reads.

Posted by: GregS at June 01, 2005 08:57 AM (FVNT+)

18 Ok, Lapsed Leftist, I consider myself schooled. However, the Celebration was still in Indy, still at the Convention Center and I recognized it by the decorations.

Plus, there were Stormtroopers in attendance at Gen Con - which would explain my faux pas.

Posted by: Larry at June 01, 2005 09:33 AM (Ju2hM)

19 You know, someone with photoshop skills could really freak out the left with stars-and-stripestroopers in Iraq. Or, USA/USMC cammo-troopers, complete with AT-AT's. Hey, we are always accused of being evil, might as well enjoy it!

Posted by: BattleofthePyramids at June 01, 2005 07:44 PM (xH61O)

20 Testing some stuff in an old topic...

The first snippet of conversation I heard was (I shit you not): I'm now a strict vegan, because I felt being an ovo-lacto vegan was a bit too exploitive.

I thought this airhead was making a joke until the others there began to nod knowingly. I immediately went to the host and made my apologies about not feeling well and that I needed to leave.

End test.

Test #2:
The first snippet of conversation I heard was (I shit you not): I'm now a strict vegan, because I felt being an ovo-lacto vegan was a bit too exploitive.

I thought this airhead was making a joke until the others there began to nod knowingly. I immediately went to the host and made my apologies about not feeling well and that I needed to leave.
End test #2.

Posted by: Bob at June 07, 2005 06:25 PM (vCw5Z)

21 Another test:

Log Cabin wrote:
The first snippet of conversation I heard was (I shit you not): "I'm now a strict vegan, because I felt being an ovo-lacto vegan was a bit too exploitive."

I thought this airhead was making a joke until the others there began to nod knowingly. I immediately went to the host and made my apologies about not feeling well and that I needed to leave.

Posted by: Bob at June 07, 2005 06:26 PM (vCw5Z)

22 Test 4:

Log Cabin wrote:
The first snippet of conversation I heard was (I shit you not): "I'm now a strict vegan, because I felt being an ovo-lacto vegan was a bit too exploitive."

I thought this airhead was making a joke until the others there began to nod knowingly. I immediately went to the host and made my apologies about not feeling well and that I needed to leave.

End Test 4.

Test 5:

The first snippet of conversation I heard was (I shit you not): "I'm now a strict vegan, because I felt being an ovo-lacto vegan was a bit too exploitive."

I thought this airhead was making a joke until the others there began to nod knowingly. I immediately went to the host and made my apologies about not feeling well and that I needed to leave.

End Test 5.

Posted by: Bob at June 07, 2005 06:27 PM (vCw5Z)

23 Test 6:

Log Cabin wrote:
The first snippet of conversation I heard was (I shit you not): "I'm now a strict vegan, because I felt being an ovo-lacto vegan was a bit too exploitive."

I thought this airhead was making a joke until the others there began to nod knowingly. I immediately went to the host and made my apologies about not feeling well and that I needed to leave.

End Test 6.

Test 7:

Log Cabin wrote:

The first snippet of conversation I heard was (I shit you not): "I'm now a strict vegan, because I felt being an ovo-lacto vegan was a bit too exploitive."

I thought this airhead was making a joke until the others there began to nod knowingly. I immediately went to the host and made my apologies about not feeling well and that I needed to leave.

End Test 7.

Posted by: Bob at June 07, 2005 06:29 PM (vCw5Z)

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