Ace of Spades HQ

March 31, 2006

457 Pound Woman To Be Cremated After Lying In Morgue For Weeks
— Ace

...due to a dispute over how much it should cost to light this big gal up:

A woman whose 457-pound body sat in a morgue for more than a month during a dispute over the cost of her cremation will be cremated within the next few days, officials said Thursday.
Charlotte Ann Blue died Feb. 6, but she wasn't immediately cremated because Dallas County and the crematorium it contracts with disagreed over the extra dollar per pound charged for bodies weighing more than 300 pounds.
Blue's son, Sam Roberts, said he believed his mother had been cremated under a county indigent plan until he called to get a death certificate.
"That's when I was informed that for the last two months she's been sitting in the deep freeze at the medical examiner's office because the crematorium that does business for the county says, 'Oh well, she's too big (and) too fat," he told WFAA-TV on Wednesday.

Thanks to Craig.

Posted by: Ace at 10:06 AM | Comments (31)
Post contains 183 words, total size 1 kb.

1 What would Southwest Airlines do?

Posted by: Sticky B at March 31, 2006 10:12 AM (9vsrW)

2 Why would the son not check on this earlier? And why would he need a death certificate unless he was trying to claim some sort of benefit? If so, they should have handed him the bill.

Posted by: shawn at March 31, 2006 10:23 AM (uLve2)

3 um, just guessing here, but wouldn't all that excess she was carrying be primarily composed of the really really flammable stuff? so how much trouble could it be?

i'm thinking she was probably about three degrees short of either spontaneous combustion of collapsing into a fissile mass.

Posted by: MajMike at March 31, 2006 10:36 AM (NMK3S)

4 "We couldn't find a microwave big enough to defrost her, so we put her in the swimming pool overnight".

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 31, 2006 10:48 AM (pzen5)

5 Cremate her, shoot her ashes into space. The dust cloud she makes will take the heat off the 700 ton bomb dealy in Nevada.

Posted by: Colonel Jerry USMC(ret.) at March 31, 2006 10:49 AM (BJYNn)

6 Good Lord...tell me this isn't Sue.

And if it is...did she have time to finish up her sandwich?

Posted by: Mike at March 31, 2006 11:32 AM (leJWb)

7 1/4 ton? Why cremate her? why not donate her to a friggen power plant? Could have harnessed her decadent INDIGENT! (at 1/4 ton, she was incapable of taking care of herself. But CLEARLY could feed her ass) oil supply for a power source. Most small communities prolly could have had their energy concerns satisfied for several days, just burn her for fuel, then scrape the exhaust, that should have satisfied the family.

Or is that callous?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at March 31, 2006 11:33 AM (QTv8u)

8 How about making candles or soap (FightClub style) with all that fat? Then her relatives can sell the goods to make up the funeral costs.

Posted by: Morbid Pragmatist at March 31, 2006 11:34 AM (vnL7t)

9 Maj Mike,
You're right it is the really flammable stuff. The problem is that it burns very slowly and for a really long time.

Posted by: The Real Steve at March 31, 2006 11:46 AM (Z2KQp)

10 Would someone tell me why the county is picking up the tab for this - and not the son?

Posted by: Jeff at March 31, 2006 12:21 PM (yiMNP)

11 Jeff
Would someone tell me why the county is picking up the tab for this - and not the son?

Well, the BEST son, would never let his mother deteriorate into a rotten amorpheous mass of flesh and fat, neglecting her health and living off of the government dime.

And the Worst son, wouldn't feed the bitch to begin with.

that said, how the FUCK do you weigh 1/4 of a fucking ton! while being "indigent!" Did her diet consist of crisco with shots of wesson?!

This kind of neglect can only be offered by a good nanny state.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at March 31, 2006 12:26 PM (QTv8u)

12 just because someone weighs 500 pounds doesn't automatically disqualify them from being able to walk, etc in their own, does it? I mean, I weigh about 200 pounds, and I can carry an object weighing about 200 poounds (if it;s balanced right), and I imagine if I worked at it, I could eventually gain enough strength to carry 300 pounds.

point is, this lady could have been doing her own shopping and cooking etc. I think.

Posted by: chris at March 31, 2006 12:59 PM (ze3EB)

13 Hmmm, something isn't right about this story. Her last name is Blue, his last name is Roberts. How can this be, he can't be her son...can he?

And on that note, seeing those names, reading this story, does anyone need a photo to know exactly what these two look like?

Posted by: matt30 at March 31, 2006 01:10 PM (E9zN3)

14 I have a friend in the mortuary business. He told me people this large can start grease fires at the crematory. I shit you not. They have solutions for that, but they are not very pleasant, as you can imagine. I think he used the word, batch creamation. Only you don't tell the family that it took more than one batch. When there is a funky smell and black smoke...grease fire.

sorry

Posted by: Monica at March 31, 2006 02:39 PM (rFLG5)

15 Thaw her out and get a cosmetic surgeon to liposuction her down to size then resubmit the order.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 31, 2006 02:52 PM (WjdPM)

16 Couple of mob hitmen and a chainsaw would solve this problem in a jiffy.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 31, 2006 02:54 PM (WjdPM)

17 "Say hello to my lil' friend!!"

Posted by: CraigC at March 31, 2006 03:29 PM (la985)

18 Shawn, a death certificate would be needed to initiate probate proceedings, to place in the chain of title to any real property, have the personal representaive close out accounts, access safe deposit boxes, and so on.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at March 31, 2006 05:05 PM (rXMcL)

19 Isn't a death certificate issued by the governmentaly sanctioned institution that recognizes the LOSS of life? For instance a HOSPITAL! This "son" doesn't even know where his mother died? or apparently, the city where his mother died. You don't call Funeral Homes for death certificates, you are GENERALY listed as next of kin, and you are given one WHEN THE FRIGGEN PERSON DIES!!!!

Also, this is a BS claim. The funeral home, having information of a statutory nature (death certificate) cannot withold that information in exchange for payment. Also, the state, should automaticaly seek out the closest relative (her son) for the purposes of notification, if not, any property she had (like, a 55 gallon drum of crisco) is enough to require SS to seek out a next of kin, even if there isn't one specificaly listed. There are a LOT of reasons that you have to list next of kin in your employment contracts, it has nothing to do with insurance, it has everything to do with corporate accountability, personal insurance is an option, but Corps, need to find someone to lay the burden on.

this whole "son upset about cremation" thing is fishy, in terms of him being either a shitty son, or her being a whorish mother. There is no statutory problem here.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at March 31, 2006 05:31 PM (QTv8u)

20 Also, isn't it also likely that the reason the Hannukah candle wick of a bitch wasn't burned is because she DID have a next of kin, and the crematoria was waiting for validation by the next of kin PRIOR to the cremation?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at March 31, 2006 05:33 PM (QTv8u)

21 Good Lord...tell me this isn't Sue.

And if it is...did she have time to finish up her sandwich?

Get a life....

Posted by: wiserbud at March 31, 2006 05:55 PM (56ssE)

22 Wickedpinto:

It may vary from state to state, but it actually is a fact that the funeral home handles the dispensing of the death certificate to the next of kin. And yes, they presumably can withhold them because of non-payment. Now, eventually it will end up in the county's records, but when it comes to receiving timely copies, the funeral home has them.

Don't ask me why it is this way, but it is. I know from personal experience.

Posted by: matt30 at March 31, 2006 06:33 PM (E9zN3)

23 457. Pound. Woman.

Posted by: Jester at March 31, 2006 09:58 PM (XfqSu)

24 You've seen all the pics in the Enquirer...by modern standards 457 is svelt.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at April 01, 2006 08:34 AM (WjdPM)

25 There must be a major Northeastern utility that can use the woman for fuel. There has to be a lot of megawatts in 400+ pounds of fatty.

Posted by: Enfant Perdu at April 01, 2006 02:25 PM (UVO0l)

26 Matt
Don't ask me why it is this way, but it is. I know from personal experience.

Actually, I should have known this before hand. An aunt of mine was careing for her husbands mother and the in-law mother died. It was a bitch, not to get the death certificate but to validate various financial things, that my uncle was determined to protect for her (my aunts husbands mother) grandchildren so that the SS scam artist nursing homes (at which she, the aunts husbands mother) was only at for something like a week before death. I think that before there could be a final order, it was required that the remains not just be claimed, but disposed of, or some crap like that.

Still, if the broad is dead, she's dead, whether she's been planted, or burned or not. Dead is dead, and I think you ARE right, I think the more rural states are different, but yeah, I should have known that my broad statement was wrong before I hit return. "DERR" for me.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at April 01, 2006 02:28 PM (QTv8u)

27 Would someone tell me why the county is picking up the tab for this - and not the son?

My bet is that they are/were underprivileged minorities. What's to understand??

Posted by: Whitey at April 01, 2006 06:49 PM (LNkPR)

28 For the record, I work in healthcare, securing benefits for homeless persons.
Whitey: The family was white, Get Over It!
I just watched (cnn.com) and the lady was in the indigent disposition program for poor families. Someone deemed her worthy to receive these benefits...

Posted by: Brandy at April 03, 2006 08:37 AM (SNCYC)

29 Quest-Application for Legion-DeFugel
Quest-Taking Spare Weapons-DeFugel
Quest-Registration as a Private-DeFugel

Posted by: ferld at December 22, 2009 01:21 PM (+vewO)

30 Quest-Application for Legion-DeFugel
Quest-Taking Spare Weapons-DeFugel
Quest-Registration as a Private-DeFugel

Posted by: derd at December 22, 2009 01:22 PM (+vewO)

31 Quest-Leader's Whim-Craxion
Quest-Weapon acceptance-Craxion

Posted by: dfres at December 22, 2009 01:26 PM (+vewO)

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